Afternoon Art

 When I happened upon this scene today after putting Fin for his nap, I couldn't help but snap a picture. Everyone was whispering and getting along and it made my mother heart swell with joy. I sure love my little artists!

Thoughts on Baby

34 1/2 Weeks

This pregnancy has passed by much quicker than any of the others as I answer the demands of four other little people day and night. I have been blessed to have a healthy, strong body and haven't felt the discomforts of pregnancy until very recently. Suddenly bending to pick up toys, finding room for a bouncy toddler on my lap, and sleeping have become more difficult.

In this last month I find myself turning inward and becoming more withdrawn as the children buzz around me with excitement. While baby kicks and squirms from the inside, my toddler kicks and squirms all over me on the outside. In these moments I breath in deeply and resist the urge to push away.

My focus is slowly turning from the housework, social commitments, and outings to the upcoming birth. Throughout the day I find myself reflecting on both the overwhelming joy in anticipation of birth and the inevitable doubt in my ability to mother five children. FIVE! Some days the idea of five fills me with absolute joy, and other days I am left in tears wondering how I will manage.

As I slowly disconnect myself from the world around me, I have taken up a few crochet projects. The yarn running through my fingers as I dip the hook in and out of each stitch calms me while the happy chaos of our home erupts around me. I need these quiet moments to fill my soul and replenish my energy as the birth approaches.

I will be more mentally prepared this time, more immersed in the birthing process. I am more aware of my body and the way it is changing. The braxton hicks have begun, sometimes more painful than others. They come in waves and my body knows this rhythm well. In a few weeks they will become more real and harder to endure. I know this will all pass. I've done it five times before after all.

I can hardly wait to find out if baby is a boy or a girl! Camilla has taken to calling the baby "she" in hopes that it will make her dreams of having a little sister come true. I have been packing the hospital bag little by little and added the little newborn outfits the other day. The anticipation of cuddling something so tiny again makes me giddy. I can't wait to touch that soft baby skin and count fingers and toes.

Summer Sun

 It's happening already. The days are getting shorter, the sun is setting sooner. The littles are beginning to miss their earlier bed times. They'd tell you otherwise, but a mother can tell when her children are a bit on the tired side. Instead of spending all day outside playing, I have instituted nap time again (perhaps more for me than them). It's been a rough couple of days with a tired, cranky preschooler and a toddler who has suddenly decided to protest his afternoon naps. I finish my days completely exhausted, and wonder how I'm going to wake up with enough energy to do it all again the next day. 

After spending the morning tearing apart our washing machine (again), I decided to take the littles to the spray park for a couple of hours. We stopped for timbits on our way and enjoyed them on our picnic blanket between play. We were all happy to be out of the house! Their energy levels were high and laughter was non-stop. I sat on a blanket in the shade of a tree soaking it all in. Finley ran back and forth from the fence line to me, giggling as the grass tickled his little toes. Hyrum's loud bursts of laughter could be heard across the park, bubbling right up from his belly. Camilla danced through the water with a smile as bright as the sun. Joseph ran and ran alternating between his older siblings and his little brother. We had a nice snuggle on the blanket when he got cold. 

We all went home feeling refreshed. Finley fell asleep right away after I snuggled him into his bed and Joseph napped on the couch mid-afternoon. I cleaned a bathroom and tidied a few things and then took to my book and ignored the rest of the mess. At this point I am trying to find balance between house work, and taking time to put my feet up and feel the baby tumble around inside of me. Resting too much is simply not an option with this many littles depending on me for food, nurturing, and attention, so I take it in small amounts throughout the day. Today, the spray park served as a wonderful rest and so many memories were made!

 

Canning with Mom

This week the littles and I ventured out to the Acreage for a couple of days. It's always sad leaving Daddy behind, but he had a few late nights at work anyways, so it kind of worked out! I packed enough for an over-nighter, but we ended up extending our stay much to the children's delight. The drive out was a little bit chaotic for the first little while until Tucker fell asleep. We stopped twice for potty breaks (shortly after everyone settled in for naps it seemed). I armed myself with some travel candy in the pocket on my door to help me endure! Tucker kept farting in his sleep, causing Joe to sniff the air, scrunch his nose, and say, "Mom....I smell somethin'...." I wasn't about to roll down the window and wake Finley though, so we all covered our noses with our shirts and pressed on. I had to silently laugh as we drove. 

Our first morning there, we woke bright and early to get started on the quickly ripening peaches. My Mom had just canned a bunch with my sister the day before, then she helped me, and had a couple cases of her own to do too. 

I appreciated her taking the time to teach us her canning ways (and I know my littles will appreciate opening these in the middle of Winter)! As we peeled and sliced peaches, the littles buzzed through the kitchen eating bowl fulls. 

With our family being so big, I did mine in bigger jars so it took a little less time. We had a good system down for filling and putting on the lids and then my Mom taught me about the pressure canner.

 The rain held off in the afternoon just long enough for us to get to the berry patch and fill three or four buckets. 

Finley started out picking them one at a time and eating them, and then he thought it was better to eat the raspberries by the fist full from my bucket. I'm sure that's the reason my pails weren't nearly as full as my Mamma's!

I spent a little bit of time checking out the produce in the greenhouse. This is their first year growing in it, and everything looks amazing! The cucumbers are coming, and the tomatoes are big and fat. My Dad's got a pretty sweet watering system going too.

 The kids love having the extra space to run and play at the acreage. I hardly saw the older two the whole time we were there, unless they needed their tummies filled. The boys would come in from outside with sand covered shoes and hands full of worms from the garden. "Those belong outside," I would say, as they placed them on the floor to pull their shoes off. "Awww. Mommmmm,"

 My Mom sent us home with a few cases of canned peaches and a bunch of berries. It all tastes so much better than the stuff you get from a store!

 As I drove home I smiled at my hands stained orange and red from a day well spent!

Quiet Time

When quiet time accidentally turns into nap time....

Getting Out

My little guys have pretty much been up with the sun every day this week. We had a pretty rough morning with such an early start. I fed them breakfast, looked at my crumb filled kitchen through tears and decided that curling my hair might make me feel a little better.  By the time 8:30am rolled around I couldn't stand the arguing any more! Everybody was irritable and deaf to my pleas to stop fighting and do their chores. I decided that getting out of the house was my only other option. I called the children to get their shoes on, loaded Fin in the stroller, packed some raspberry muffins, and put the leash on the dog. 

 My mood was lifted by the wind in my hair, the beautiful flowers along the way, and Finley's giggles.

We walked towards the trail and kept walking until we felt better. We made it all the way to a favorite park and spent the rest of the morning playing. 

They slid down the slide over and over again as the sun kissed their cheeks and the sand warmed their bare toes.

This guy enjoyed a little more independence!

We all went home feeling much more agreeable then when we left. I felt more at ease and able to tackle my daily tasks and the kids got along much better in the afternoon. Sometimes getting out of the house is all it takes!

Rainy Day Play

 We fell asleep last night to the sound of rain and thunder. I layed their in silence, counting the seconds between thunder and lightning, wondering how long it would be before I'd hear one of the children pitter-patter their feet into our room. Surprisingly, they all slept through (the little boys even slept until 7:30)! Miracles happen people! 

The rain was still falling when I woke and I was greeted by happy children. A part of me was glad for the rain. After a busy couple of days I was looking forward to spending a quiet day at home with my littles. I spent the morning throwing laundry through our newly fixed washer while the children quietly played. I took advantage of the extra tidy basement and vacuumed with Finley's help. It always takes twice as long, but his big grins make it worth it! I also chuckled when he snuggled up to Tucker and gave him some loves. He always says, "Dood boooo-ey...." (good boy) when Tucker sits nice. It's the sweetest thing to listen to.

 A rainy day wouldn't be complete without a quick project!

 In the late afternoon, when the rain let up, we all walked up the street to pick up some fresh farm eggs. It rained pretty good on the way back and Finley was tickled. "Nain! It's nainin'!" He would repeat as he grinned at the sky and let the rain fall on his soft little cheeks.

 I snuck a picture of these two washing their dino's in the sink. I love rainy days for the imagination and play that happens.

 While I cooked dinner, Finley hung out on the stairs anxiously awaiting Daddy's arrival. When he heard the garage door open he got so excited!

The older two got the giggles super bad at the dinner table. It took everything in me to let them keep going. As bedtime approached, the sun came out for the first time all day. When their little friends came by and asked if they could play, I let them run to the park for some fresh air and sunshine. They played on the swings and jumped in puddles as the sun dipped behind the rooftops. This is what Summer time is for!

Bed Head

Somebody woke up with some pretty awesome bed head this morning!!

The Bright Side

Today began at the early hour of 5:00am when both of the little boys decided to throw an early morning tantrum. I woke puffy eyed from falling asleep with the weight of motherhood on my shoulders. After working pretty much around the clock, our house is only ever semi-tidy, and the dishes are never completely done.  It's hard to go through an entire day without and thanks or recognition for all of the things a mother juggles. This job pays in hugs and kisses, and the bonus is when someone remembers to put the toilet seat down or actually hits the laundry basket when they take off their clothes at days end. I couldn't help dwelling on the fact that Summer is already half over and it hasn't been quite what I envisioned. I had big plans for a few hours of "mommy school" each morning that kind of got pushed to the side. I had hopes of going on a few outings with the children. Instead, I am in survival mode as I finish up this third trimester of pregnancy, and try to keep up with house work. The children don't notice as they happily run off to the park, jump on the trampoline in the yard, or play with their toys.

My first week back in the trenches of motherhood has been both rewarding and exhausting. At weeks end I am feeling emotionally drained and sore. I won't tell you about the time that I found an eatmore bar while cleaning off a shelf and hid in my laundry room to eat it as fast as humanly possible so I wouldn't have to share (yes, my jaw hurt after that chewy bar in case anyone was wondering). 

I laughed with Mr. Stannix a few nights ago about how Finley is the only kid who doesn't find his way to our bed in the middle of the night like the others frequently did at his age. I think I spoke too soon, because the last couple of nights we've had a squirmy toddler in our bed more than once. He maneuvers his body to fit in any spare nook or cranny around my baby bump and cuddles in close. While I enjoy the extra snuggles, my nights have not been the most restful. 

I let myself be cranky for a good hour this morning and then I decided to take the littles to a field and grab some pictures before the harvest. Their mood is almost directly dependent on mine, and I found them to be more agreeable after I willed myself to have more patience and pulled them close for morning hugs. The sun was up and bright and the sky was blue. We left the house before 8:00am and drove a short distance to a field I've had my eye on. Minus a few pesky mosquitoes, they had a lot of fun taking pictures together and saying "cheese" a ridiculous amount of times. Before going home we hit up the grocery store for some fruit and milk and the littles each scored a helium balloon from the rodeo festivities in the parking lot.

When we got home, Finley helped me put away the groceries like he always does.  He hadn't quite finished his cup of orange juice when he reached in to the tote to pick out something for me and as he tipped over, so did his cup. I turned around to find the strawberries sitting a puddle of orange juice.  I let out a heavy sigh as I mopped it up with paper towel and tried to stay cheery as we finished our job. 

Once we finished I turned on some feel good music and cleared some space on the counter. They each pushed a chair up to help me make a giant batch of my gramma's oatmeal coconut cookies as we danced and sang. After rolling a million cookies, they were happy to finally eat a few. I may have just called that our lunch and went ahead with my to-do list. While they played I swept the floor for the first time in a couple of days and made a pile big enough to feed a small army. It always amazes me how much stuff I find on my kitchen floor. 

But when I look back on my week, it has been filled with lots of wonderful moments sandwiched in with the hard stuff.  The children are learning that Mommy can't bend down pretty much at all and have been champs at putting their shoes away in the closet. One time Camilla forgot and Hyrum went ahead and picked hers up along with his and it totally warmed my heart. I dread doing laundry as I almost have to grunt just to reach the freshly dried clothes from the dark cave that is my dryer. Finley is quick to help and even though it takes twice as long, I am grateful.

I have been enjoying listening to Finley build his vocabulary. There are a few things he says now that are easy to understand and super adorable. I wish he could stay this age forever. I love when he tries to boss around our puppy, Tucker and yells, "No Dugger!" over and over again. The other day I watched him build block towers over and over again and exclaim, "Awww maaaaaaaa!" (aw man) each time it fell over. He has picked up on when the older kids ask or tell us things and quite often in the van he will say, "Daddy...?" over and over again until he responds, "Yes, Finley?" After the hundredth time it can get pretty tiring. 

On our way home from the park to make lunch I asked the kids if they wanted macaroni and cheese and Joe said, "I don't want cheese, just macaroni. Okay Mom?" I couldn't help but chuckle. That same day he also frequently said, "Mommy... imagine if...." and finished it with something funny like, "you were this tall and...." or "if I had a broken finger and had to do...." 

Finley has started playing at my feet more as I make dinner or bake bread. The other day I wound up his little toy car at least a million times because he was so sweet when he asked and it made him so happy to watch it go. I laughed as I would stir the dinner, wind up the car, wash a dish, wind up the car, wipe a counter, wind up a car..... 

Our neighbors asked us to pick their raspberries while they're away and I finally got around to it last night just as a storm was rolling in. As I walked over sans kids, I breathed in the air and could almost taste the rain. I picked under a black sky as the thunder rumbled and rain threatened. If there's one thing I've learned about berry picking, it's that you find the best ones when you get down and look up. The biggest, juiciest berries hide under the leaves and are seen better when you look up. I feel like life is the same way. As I remember to get down on my knees and look up to Heavenly Father, I find it easier to recognize the blessings in my life and things always look brighter. 

Boy's Best Friend

 Tucker is slowly learning his role in our family. The boys enjoyed giving him some loves this afternoon while he was having some quiet time. Every time Tucker settles and lets the kids pet him and snuggle him they say, "Mom, I am so glad Tucker came to our family." He's definitely brought a lot of happy chaos to our busy little family. I am glad that he gets to "grow" with us and learn to fit in to our family dynamics. Hyrum and him seem to have something special, and I love seeing sweet moments like these.