Tiny Reminders

It's early morning. The sun hasn't even come up, but I've already been out of bed twice. Just as I'm falling back to sleep I'm startled awake by the most dreadful sound. I rush over to Joe's room to sooth him and then change his sheets with sleep still poking at my eyes. He has the pukes. Soon, all is well. I kiss him good-night and fall back into bed. I slowly close my eyes. Tap, tap, tap. Baby begins dancing around inside of me. Even though I'm exhausted to the point of tears, I smile, because those tiny first movements are SO comforting.

The morning rush ensues. There's breakfast to be made, lunches to pack, and kisses to be given. I rush around the kitchen all morning loading the dishwasher and wiping crumbs off the counter. Joseph runs up stairs to tell me "something BAD has happened!" He takes my hand and leads me downstairs to show me the water dripping from the basement ceiling. I breath deeply. In and out. I turn off the dishwasher and lay on the couch for a rest. Tap, tap.... I feel baby again, softly moving around.

In the late afternoon I sit at the table and rest my head on my arms for a few quiet moments. I can hear the children playing happily outside. Finley is having a little snooze in his crib. I rest my eyes for just a moment and enjoy those little taps once more. 

The day flies by, and the bed time routine approaches. While the older kids stare at their plates of dinner, I wipe Finley and dress him for bed. He drinks his bottle while we snuggle in the chair. He nestles in close while I sing to him. Tap, tap, tap. Tears of gratitude well up in my eyes as I finish the last verse of "I am a Child of God". This baby has so many wonderful siblings to take care of him or her.

Those little taps are what keep me going. Tiny reminders that life is good and sweet despite the chaos and challenges. I may have yelled one too many times, I may have mommy guilt at the end of the day, and I even sometimes feel undeserving to welcome another sweet spirit into our home. But each night before bed I kneel down and thank my Father in Heaven for these sweet little blessings, and the baby wiggling around in my tummy giving me the reassurance I need to push forward.