My Sunshine

This week Winter arrived for real. The buses were all cancelled and it was minus a bazillion outside. The littles stayed home all but two days and enjoyed each others company very much. This morning they all wanted to go to school for the last day before break next week. Mr. Stannix's car wouldn't start (despite being plugged in), but our trusty Big Red fired up nicely despite the cold. Instead of Daddy dropping them off, we all piled in and dropped Daddy to work first so that I could have the van to pick everyone up after school. When we arrived back home, the house was quiet and Ollie lamented over how much he misses the big kids when they're away because he has no one to play with. I turned up the heat and sat on my bed with miss Lily and she would not stop smiling. I thought I'd put a bunch of pictures on here in case anyone else might be in need of a little bit of sunshine today. Happy Friday!

 

 

 

A Quiet Day

For the first time this week, the big kids went to school. The buses haven't been running all week, but they caught a ride in to school with Daddy. 

 

The house felt really empty, and I spent all morning snuggled on the couch nursing the babe while Ollie and Sawyer played at my feet. It kind of felt like a breath of relief after a busy few days with everyone home. I miss them all when they are at school, but the quiet was welcomed.

 

Lily has started smiling at everyone! It's one of my favorite things. I really didn't get up to much today as far as house work goes. I caught up on some laundry that needed folding and visited with my parents for most of the afternoon.

After lunch I tucked Sawyer in for a quick snooze, knowing I'd have to wake him to drive in and pick up the littles from school. The van barely started for me and for a few seconds I worried about how I would get them home if it didn't. Lily slept snug and warm in her carseat while the little boys chatted my ear off. The littles had rosy cold cheeks when they piled into the van from their short walk outside the school. We grabbed a dozen donuts and then headed home to warm up!

Polar Vortex

 This week is filled with bitter cold as a polar vortex makes it's way through. Knowing the buses were cancelled, we all slept in a tiny bit. I had been up most of the night with Lily on the couch, so the extra few winks of sleep were welcomed. The house was chilly and the windows were frosted inside. I turned the heat up a few notches and then went to work in the kitchen making breakfast and mixing ingredients for artisan bread.

 

 

 

 

 Joseph begged to hold Lily and  took great care snuggling her up on his shoulder with his hand placed gently on the back of her head. Her chubby cheeks smooshed on his bony shoulder as he eye lids slowly closed. When she was asleep, he placed her in her bouncer. Hyrum scooped her up when she began to stir a short while later and she quickly drifted back to sleep nestled into his neck as he swayed and bounced around the kitchen to the music softly playing. These boys are going to make excellent fathers one day!

 

 

 
Hyrum made his way into the kitchen just as I pulled out the mixing bowl. I figured since everyone was home I would make up a batch of sugar cookies. We traditionally fill the jar with heart cookies every February and today was the perfect day for it.

 

Once they were baked and cooled I made a batch of icing and the littles gathered around the kitchen table and went to work creating and eating.

 

 

 

When they all had their fill, I was left to finish icing the rest of the cookies and put them away in the cookie jar. 

Grampa invited Camilla over to play her violin for Great Gramma and Grampa Hudkins over video. At the end, I snuck over to show them Lily and she gave them the biggest grins. As my Grampa explained to my Gramma (who is blind) how chubby Lily's cheeks are and how big she was grinning, Gramma's voice cracked as she said, "I wish I could see her." 

 

Tears pricked my eyes as I thought about my dear Gramma and how gracefully she is handling navigating through life with a loss of eye sight.

 

 

The afternoon passed quietly with the little ones snuggled in for a nap and the furnace warming our home.

 

Shortly before dinner I pulled two gorgeous loaves of crusty artisan bread from the oven and listened to it crackle as it cooled on the counter.

When the sun came out, everyone bundled up despite the cold and went outside to play. I watched through the window, with a sleepy babe snuggled in my arms as they ran through the big spruce trees, laughed down the hill on the sleds and played a game of hide n' seek. I watched Sawyer trudge through the deep snow with one mitten to ask his big brother for help. I observed Hyrum tenderly drop to one knee and carefully put Sawyers mitten back on. A few minutes later I saw them exploring near the other side of the yard, Sawyer being piggy backed by that strong older brother of his. So many sweet moments today that I will cherish forever. 

An Earthly Angel

We woke to a chill in the air and a thin layer of frost lining the windows. Mr. Stannix was up early to head to his bishopric meetings and discovered his car wouldn't start. He came inside from the cold to find me snuggled on the couch with Lily to let me know. I told him just to take Big Red and the littles and I would watch church at home today. It was kind of a relief because I didn't really feel like going to church anyways. The cold coupled with my mood made me just want to lay low.

A little while later Mr. Stannix sent me a text to let me know that someone very special had offered to drop the van back home so that we could have the option of going to church if we wanted to. Some of the littles were already dressed and ready, so it wasn't hard to get everyone else ready on time. When the van pulled up I watched through the window as this dear friend, all bundled up, took the scraper and made sure the windows were all clear. She dropped the keys in the door to one of the children and I yelled a thank-you as she closed the door and hopped in the car with her son who had followed her out.

 

 

While the littles played, I got myself dressed and Lily snoozed on my bed. We had a slow, quiet morning and I even had a few minutes to snap some pictures of the girls before we left for church. As the meeting began I was grateful to this dear friend for her willingness to serve. I didn't know how much I needed to be there until I had arrived. To learn later that she had dropped her husband off to his early meetings (which she didn't normally do) and had asked her son who happened to also be awake early to come along and shovel if need be was a testimony to me that God is in the details. As she shared this, tears filled my eyes. I am so grateful that she was in-tune with the Spirit and followed through with her promptings.

The hum-drum of Winter and this whole pandemic has been getting to me and it all caught up with me last night. As I stayed up well past the hour everyone else had fallen asleep, walking the floor and nursing, I began to feel sorry for myself. Having someone need and rely on you every minute of every day is both a beautiful and difficult thing. I said many a prayer and let the tears fall. Sometimes when we feel lonely, lost, or abandoned, Heavenly Father sends angels to remind us that He cares. Heavenly Father knew that I needed to go to church today, and he made it possible with help from an earthly angel.

 

Lily: One Month

 

At one month miss Lily loves to be snuggled! She likes to be nestled into my neck when she’s tired or up high on my shoulder so she can look around. Her average bedtime is anytime after 11pm and she only gives me just over two hours in between feeds. She is always fussy in the evenings and takes a while to settle. She recently started grabbing my shirt sleeve or collar in her fist while falling asleep. She hates being swaddled and always sleeps with a hand next to her face and arms up. She is expressive and has the loudest cry of all my babes. Our noisy house doesn’t phase her and she sleeps through everything. We have days every now and then where I get nothing done but hold her. Experience tells me this is perfectly normal and I cherish the time. Happy one month baby girl!

Lily Joy: Newborn Photos

 This week my sister sent me the gorgeous newborn photos she took of Lily a few weeks back. She is so talented and I'm so grateful to her for capturing these moments for me. The newborn stage goes by far too quickly, and having these pictures to look back on is so special. We are totally smitten with our new baby girl and I will cherish these pictures forever.

 

 

 

 

Getting Things Done

It was an early, busy, crazy Monday morning. I'm looking forward to our new rhythm with the big kids back in school and the little ones at home. I decided to check a few things off my to-do list this morning, but miss Lily loves being held and moving, so into the wrap she went. I got to enjoy my snuggles hands-free and tend to my neglected house!

 

Baby wearing has saved my life so many times. After a semi-productive morning, the rest of the day was spent snuggling and nursing. Lily was a tad fussy and just needed some mommy time. The rest of the house work can wait!

 

Resolutions & Grace

Our morning started out nice and slow, as Monday mornings should.  After a wonderful blur of a Christmas break we are gently easing back into reality. The littles began their online schooling today and made it to all of their scheduled google meets (yay!). Camilla scooped up Lily and cuddled her on her shoulder while she did her school work on the computer this morning. All of the littles introduced their baby sister in their "show and share" moments and it was adorable listening to them answer questions about when she was born and what her name was. Joe even pointed out to his teacher that Lily sleeps best when there's lots of noise. His teacher replied that she came to the right family, and then clarified that we don't have a noisy family, just that there's lots of us. Ha! 

 

After all of the school work was complete, I went to the store because we were in desperate need of groceries after the holiday left-overs had been eaten. Lily slept the entire time we were gone and the hour of peace and quiet was much needed. I barely got all of the groceries unloaded before Lily woke and cried. When I  came in with the last load, big sister was already unbelting her carseat. It was  then that we discovered she had blown out of her diaper and Lily was quickly passed over to me while Camilla scrunched her nose and went to the bathroom to wash up. 

The afternoon was a whirlwind of feedings, noise, and chaos. The older two baked up their famous snickerdoodle cake. I may or may not have locked a few of the boys outside to play for a half hour. While I made dinner a parade of little boys ran back and forth through my kitchen from one end of the house to the other, with Sawyer trailing behind them giggling hysterically. They like to play this game often where they all sneak and run away and Sawyer tries to find them. Lily quietly slept in the middle of it all, never waking when they whizzed by yelling and screaming and laughing. My music played in the background while the lasagna baked and I sat bleary eyed at the kitchen table ignoring the craziness. 

By the time the evening rolled around I was feeling pretty exhausted. I had only managed a few winks of sleep during the night and my days are full and busy. We said family prayers, tucked the littles into bed and then I put my feet up for a little while. I have been teetering on the edge emotionally as my hormones straighten out and I adjust to life as a mother of seven with a newborn. There are many moments of sheer joy, where my heart feels as though it will leap from my chest. And then there are moments where I'm blinking  back tears and willing away negative thoughts of failure as I struggle with lack of sleep and seemingly unachievable goals. 

When I set goals for myself this year, many of them centered around things I'd like to do to become a better mother, talents I'd like to develop, and habits that I've missed (like daily journal writing and regular study). I always anticipate the new year with great excitement as I think about all of the new things I want to do and accomplish and who I'd like to become. Like, it's ridiculous how excited I get for January to come around and seasons to change. I love new beginnings and opportunities to start fresh. Often, after the first few days I find myself getting discouraged because my busy life doesn't allow me to do the things I had planned, or I find myself frustrated with how I dealt with a certain situation, wishing I had practiced more patience and self mastery. 

As I lamented my woes to my dear Mr. Stannix tonight he wisely responded. "You should have ONE goal for 2021. Love your baby. The rest just doesn't matter. Do the things that need to be done and who cares if the rest of the house falls apart. I'm pretty sure Heavenly Father just wants you to love your baby." It was profound. I hugged him as I blinked back tears, grateful for his understanding and counsel. 

 

When I got ready for bed, I noticed the pile of laundry that I had intended to fold today was pushed off the bed and onto the floor (like it often is) where it will wait for me to pick it back up and put it onto my freshly made bed in the morning (and then probably wait some more to be folded). I truly am too busy soaking in this newborn stage to worry about folding laundry or tidying toys. And knowing that Mike doesn't care what state the house is in made me feel one hundred times better. Sometimes having the right perspective can change everything.

 

While I'm not entirely giving up on bettering myself and developing new talents and habits in 2021, I am going to allow myself some grace. My desired daily habits may not be daily (yet), but I'm determined to keep trying. In the meantime, I will be spending these bleak mid-winter days soaking in my children and cherishing these fleeting moments where our home feels like it's been blessed with a piece of heaven.

 

Two Weeks

Two weeks with you, baby girl! We couldn't be more in love. 

A Full Heart

 This morning I woke and got SEVEN children ready for church. The big kids were all  very helpful, which was nice! Camilla helped the little boys get dressed and Hyrum and Joe were able to get themselves ready without too many reminders. 

We took a quick snapshot in front of the Christmas tree just before heading out the door to church. My hands don't really feel much more full than they were before Lily joined us, but my heart sure does! I feel so blessed to be their mamma!

  

It's pretty crazy how much babies can change in a week. I take way too many pictures when they are this tiny and am so grateful for digital photography that makes it possible to do so. 

 

 

On my way to the van, I paused to soak in this view. I took a deep breath, bracing myself for the hour ahead at church with seven littles on the bench. I am super grateful for my parents and the help they are able to lend! Church would be far more overwhelming right now if they weren't here with us.

 

 

 

Before taking her out of her dress, I had to take a few more pictures. I made this hat and bootie set for her, and it makes me so happy to see her wearing it. She was such a darling at church today! I love this age where they pretty much sleep through everything.

 

 

The late afternoon and early evening were spent playing foosball and hanging out in the rec room by the tree. We all admired Lily and enjoyed watching her stare at the lights on the tree. It was nice to have a slow afternoon to soak in the last of the Christmas season goodness. 

 

 

We were blessed to end the day with the most gorgeous sunset! Days like these fill my heart right to the brim with happiness.