A Full Heart

 This morning I woke and got SEVEN children ready for church. The big kids were all  very helpful, which was nice! Camilla helped the little boys get dressed and Hyrum and Joe were able to get themselves ready without too many reminders. 

We took a quick snapshot in front of the Christmas tree just before heading out the door to church. My hands don't really feel much more full than they were before Lily joined us, but my heart sure does! I feel so blessed to be their mamma!

  

It's pretty crazy how much babies can change in a week. I take way too many pictures when they are this tiny and am so grateful for digital photography that makes it possible to do so. 

 

 

On my way to the van, I paused to soak in this view. I took a deep breath, bracing myself for the hour ahead at church with seven littles on the bench. I am super grateful for my parents and the help they are able to lend! Church would be far more overwhelming right now if they weren't here with us.

 

 

 

Before taking her out of her dress, I had to take a few more pictures. I made this hat and bootie set for her, and it makes me so happy to see her wearing it. She was such a darling at church today! I love this age where they pretty much sleep through everything.

 

 

The late afternoon and early evening were spent playing foosball and hanging out in the rec room by the tree. We all admired Lily and enjoyed watching her stare at the lights on the tree. It was nice to have a slow afternoon to soak in the last of the Christmas season goodness. 

 

 

We were blessed to end the day with the most gorgeous sunset! Days like these fill my heart right to the brim with happiness.

 

 

Christmas Recap

 After staying up way too late the night before, Christmas morning came EARLY! I had to will my body to leave my warm bed after being up all night nursing. The littles were all awake at 4:30am, but didn't come to our room until 5:50am. They just couldn't wait any longer to open their stockings! They brought them to our bed and opened everything and then we went out to the play room to watch a movie to let a very tired Daddy catch a few more winks before opening presents. 

Lily basically slept through the entire ordeal!

She spent the entire morning snuggling Gramma while we opened presents!

The littles started with their "big" present this year! We invested in a foosball table for the family. With all of these kids and all of their friends, we are sure it will be put to good use!

Present opening was slow and perfect. There was no whining or complaining, just joy and excitement and gratitude.

It didn't take long to open everything and clean up the mess! The rest of the morning was spent playing with new toys and enjoying each others company!

Sawyer ADORED his new ride on car, just like I knew he would! I could hardly peel him off it for breakfast, but I'm pretty sure he was too full of skittles to even eat anyways.

Everyone took turns on the new foosball table and they were all yelling and cheering!

I enjoyed watching my new carousel that Mr. Stannix got me. My collection is slowly growing!

Lily Joy enjoyed hanging out on her new blanket made by Gramma Hudkins! It's so lovely!

Despite being insanely sleep deprived, I pulled of Christmas Dinner (with the help of my mamma) and we all stuffed ourselves! The littles went outside and did some sledding before dark and Ollie enjoyed his new sled. When I asked how he liked it he said, "Perfect! It went rippin' and then it turned me all by itself!"

Merry Christmas

 

Christmas Eve

 Today was a wonderful day. The littles have been looking forward to Christmas for so long and the energy in the house was high all day long as they anticipated the festivities ahead and FINALLY being able to open their presents tomorrow morning. I've had them all wrapped and ready to go for a while. I stashed them under my bed and often found them in my room shaking and guessing.

 

We are all enjoying our new baby sister and everyone takes turns holding her. Camilla loves on her the most though and has no problem snuggling her all day every day. 

This stage is always the best in many ways because they sleep all day! Lily can sleep through all of the noise and chaos that comes with our big family and I'm so grateful for that!

 

 

With the incredibly warm temperatures we've been enjoying, we decided to get outside mid-afternoon for some fresh air. It was close to ten degrees outside, so I bundled up Lily and brought her along for some sunshine. The boys immediately began a snowball fight that lasted most of the way down the road. There was lots of laughing as they ganged up on their dad. I walked mostly behind so that I wouldn't get beaned by any snowballs that went off course. 

When we got inside, Mr. Stannix went to work making Grampy's Tacos. This has become our Christmas even tradition and will be even more fun when the littles are a bit older and can help flip the taco shells. He poured his heart into these for over three hours (they're a lot of work!). 

 

 

As they came out of the pan, Hyrum spooned the ground beef onto them and I closed them up with toothpicks to get them ready for the second frying. When we finally used up all the batter (we made a triple batch) it was time to re-fry them and eat!

We invited Gramma and Grampa over to enjoy them with us and it was total chaos of course. They are so good to put up with us! There was pop cans sliding out of greasy hands and me crawling under the table yelling "GOT IT!" as the pop glugs out onto the floor. It was sticky and crazy and I hardly had time to sit and stuff my face with tacos. While we were wiping floors, Ollie was going around giving everyone hugs over and over again. He was feeling happy and excited and had to express it somehow. After dinner everyone was wired, running, jumping around excitely. It was so loud I could hardly think or speak. 

 

 

We gathered everone in the playroom and passed out their Christmas Eve presents. They all opened their jammies amidst shouting and chaos and then went downstairs to change into them. Once life had calmed down a little bit, we gathered in front of the tree for some Christmas Eve pictures. 

 

We then headed over to Gramma and Grampas for a shrimp ring and quick bedtime snack. It was getting late! The littles ended up out on the deck to cool off (these new jammies were quite warm apparently). They loved looking at the stars and one of them even thought they saw Santa's sleigh flying off in the distance. They even grabbed a pair of binoculars just to make sure and went to bed excited for Christmas morning. Camilla even set an alarm to wake them at 11pm because her Santa tracker app said that is approximately what time Santa would be flying over and they were determined to catch him. They had even rehearsed in the afternoon who would wake who and how they would sneak up the stairs.

My Dad and Mr. Stannix spent a good portion of the night assembling the foosball table while I finished wrapping some odds and ends. I carried all of the gifts out to the tree just as they were finishing up. We cralwed into bed exhausted, knowing that the littles would be awake in just a few hours!

Savoring the Moment

Lily has been here for four days now and she fits in so perfectly. Her days are spent contently being held and passed from one doting sibling to the next. Her nights are spent snuggled in Mamma's arms to nurse. She loves to snuggle her Daddy and watches him pretty closely when he talks to her. Her big sister is smitten and will even hold her while she eats dinner. She’s the first person Sawyer wants to see when he wakes up. She sleeps best while the boys are wrestling and shouting and doesn’t blink an eye when the little boys tantrum. She’s used to the noise from nine months on the inside. She is so content and has brought us so much joy! 

 This morning she had her first bath. Camilla helped me wash and care for her. She was not happy to be in the water, but it was nice to get her all cleaned up. We cuddled her in a towel afterwards and brought her to the living room. I made the rookie mistake of nursing her before I put her diaper on and within a few seconds she had pooped. We had to clean her all up again and the boys thought it was hilarious.

After she was clean and fed, I snuck her in for a cuddle with Sawyer. The big kids were all outside and the house was quiet and still. I snapped a million pictures and soaked in the moment. Lily gave me a contented grin and Sawyer let out a sleepy sigh. 

After so many babies, I know now more than ever how important it is to savor these moments. They grow up so fast!

 

Lily: A Birth Story

 All week long I was anticipating the arrival of our little girl. Her due date could not have been more perfect (as far as December due dates go), school would be finished, Christmas preparations complete, and Daddy would be home from work. But, of course, I wouldn't mind if she had come a little bit earlier.

I woke in the middle of the night to howling winds and the same faint contractions that I'd endured for two nights. I tossed and turned for the rest of the night. My hips were sore and I was already so tired. I couldn't help but wish that the baby had come the day before, and not so close to Finley's birthday. I woke feeling exhausted and chilled, but hopeful to have a babe in arms by days end.

All day long I had contractions, but nothing consistent or overly painful. I began to feel a bit discouraged as the day went on. Soon it was mid afternoon and pretty much nothing was happening. My parents had to head to work, and I didn't anticipate needing them to watch the children, so I waved them off with a smile as my anxiety began to kick in. This baby might come on Finley's birthday, or next week, which would mean closer to Christmas than I had hoped.

Finally, around 5:00pm, things started picking back up again and I was consistently contracting five minutes apart.  I grabbed a pen and paper and stood at the kitchen counter, recording each wave as it swept over me. It didn't take long for them to start stretching around my hips, and I embraced each one and let it work its magic. Mr. Stannix noticed me leaning on the counter and asked if we should call the midwife yet, but I still wasn't sure. I had called her so early with Sawyer's birth and ended up laboring in the hospital much longer than I had hoped. I finally called Lisa at 6:30 to let her know that baby was probably on it's way sometime tonight. I still wasn't sure if we should stay or go, so she told me to text her when we decided what we would like to do.

Shortly after my parents arrived home from work, we surprised them with the news that I was in labor. I had been keeping it a secret for the last few days so that I could quietly labor on my own. They happily pulled the littles over to their place and cooked up some pancakes for dinner while we prepared to leave. On the way to town I only had one contraction and worried that things might come to a grinding halt. We arrived at the hospital around 7:30pm and were greeted by a temperature scan and a security guard who escorted us to my room. Lisa had everything ready and was awesome about letting me take my time and get settled. She asked if I wanted to be checked and I wasn't really feeling it. After the next contraction, she chuckled to herself and said, "Okay, I'm going to go and get you admitted." She joked that she was going to be home and tucked in bed before midnight, and it totally made me smile because that was secretly my wish as well.

I paced and walked around for a short time until my water broke and things got a little bit more intense. I began focusing on breathing deeply. My midwife was kind enough to dim all of the bright hospital lights while I closed my eyes and continued to control my breathing. I could hear Mike and Lisa quietly chatting in the background while I alternated between walking and leaning over the bathroom counter. Then I heard Lisa say, "You're sounding kind of 'pushy', I think you should make your way over here so you're closer to the bed when you're ready." She knew exactly what I needed. I could hear her turn on the infant warmer and knew that we were getting closer to meeting this little one. She gently grabbed my arm and led me across the room towards the bed. I prepared my mind for what I knew was coming and let the excitement over meeting this babe prevail over the pain and hard work that was ahead of me. I was determined to have this baby before midnight so that Finley wouldn't have to share his birthday. 

 

I don't recall exactly how long I had to push, but at 8:52pm a beautiful baby girl was placed on my chest! She had decided to come sunny side up (which is why it was such a hard push). The relief and joy that flooded over me was unforgettable. The surge of adrenaline after working so hard. We were covered with warm blankets and then Mike and I gushed over her cheeks and her wrinkled hands,  double checked the gender, and soaked her in.  I couldn't stop smiling. Those moments right after are my favorite. The wave of emotion and the way Mike strokes my hair away from my face and kisses the top of my head.

I was able to snuggle her as long as I wanted and nurse her for a while. Then I handed her over to Lisa to weigh, measure and check. She was 7lbs 2oz and 20" long. She screamed the entire check-up. I enjoyed my favorite chocolate bar while I watched from the bed. Lisa diapered and swaddled her and passed her to Daddy for some snuggles while I made my way to a nice hot shower.

While Lisa did paper work, I snuggled our girl. Mike and I talked about the few names we had come up with for this little girly. We settled on Lily, a name we've both always liked. We love the Christian symbolism behind this name and the reminder that God is always mindful of us, even in difficult times. For her middle name we chose "Joy", because even the anticipation of her birth brought our family much joy this year.

While Lisa finished up some paper work, I got Lily all dressed and ready to head home. We left feeling overjoyed. On our way home we made a quick stop for fast food and drove the entire way without an radio in the background. It always feels like there's a piece of heaven in the backseat with us when we bring a new babe home. Another one of my favorite moments. We visited with my parents when we arrived and loved hearing the littles reaction when we shared a picture with them earlier. They were all tucked soundly into bed and I couldn't wait for them to meet her in the morning. They had cleaned the entire house so nicely for her arrival.

 

I tucked into bed and placed Lily on my lap. I couldn't stop staring at her and had to snap a few quick pictures before it was lights out. Camilla was the first one to our bedside in the morning at the wee hour of 5:00am. I turned on my phone flashlight and let her snuggle her baby sister on the edge of my bed. We whispered in the dimly lit room while Daddy slept beside me. Then she went back to bed until the rest of the house woke.

Lily Joy

 

Lily Joy Stannix

December 19, 2020

8:52pm

7lbs 2oz, 20” long

We are smitten!

Peace Amidst Chaos

This week I will be thirty-nine weeks along with this girly and we are so excited to meet her! Every time we add another child to our family I am simultaneously filled with feelings of inadequacy, and confidence. While I never doubt the decision itself, there are crazy days where I doubt whether or not I'll be able to juggle another child. Typically these worries are eased shortly after birth, and the new babe falls right into the mix and commotion of our home perfectly well. 

As we anticipate this one's arrival, our home has been a little more chaotic than usual. While I've been a boy mom for a long time, I am still learning every day what is "normal boy behavior" and what I should be getting on their case about. Lately our days have been one giant wrestling match and they can't seem to keep their hands to themselves. Most of the time it's for fun, but sometimes it is not. There was even an incident where two of the boys were upset and began chasing each other around the yard waving hockey sticks in the air. I honestly thought one of them might kill the other. I'll never understand why boys have to work their differences out physically. Ha!

Last night we kept the littles up later than usual to enjoy popcorn and a Christmas movie. They still woke this morning before or just after 6:00am. We had enough time for everyone to shower, eat breakfast, and watch the entire Polar Express movie on my bed before it was time to leave. They fought as we headed out the door to church. I endured a lot of attitude from a few older children. The boys were kicking and punching each other on the way to town. I feel like every Sunday I yell the words, "I JUST WANT TO FEEL THE SPIRIT TODAY!" When we finally arrived I separated everyone on the bench. Before the meeting even started someone was kicking another on the bench because somehow, even though we were masked up, he managed to stick his tongue out at this particular child. I felt frazzled before the meeting even began. 

Oliver proceeded to moan and groan through a lot of the meeting. The volume of his voice is of no difference to him, and he doesn't care who's listening or watching. Between the younger two I was up and down for most of the meeting, breaking up fights on the bench, anticipating their next move, and using my angry mom eyes when they acted out. After coming back from taking Sawyer out, I noticed Camilla trying to pull something sticky out of Oliver's hair. He started yelling, "OW, OW, OW!" right in the middle of the meeting. I plopped Sawyer on her lap and hauled Oliver out for the 1304948th time wondering how in the heck he got gum stuck in his hair. Turns out an older child found it in the diaper bag and thought it was sticky tack, and when Oliver made them mad they just decided to stick it in his hair. Good grief. As we got ready to leave, they put on their jackets and began punching each other in the back because so and so was in line first and somebody budged and oh my goodness I didn't think we'd make it out of there alive.

As we drove home from church I glanced in my rear view mirror to see Ollie sitting quietly in his booster seat, gum plastered through the left side of his hair. I honestly wasn't sure if it was salvageable, but thankfully with a little pulling and a gentle snip with the scissors, we were able to get it out without completely wrecking his hair cut. 

Tonight we enjoyed the Christmas Devotional. It's something I look forward to every year. Unfortunately I spent most of the time distracted by the children as they tumbled on the floor, accidently dumped candy cane popcorn, needed drinks every five minutes, and sat upsidedown on the couch. Perhaps I just need to lower my expectations and let things go, but I'd like to think that they can sit still for at least a half hour. My favorite part of the whole evening was when I had scooped the popcorn into little bowls and Sawyer took it upon himself to grab them off the table and pass them out to everyone while saying their name.

I spent the closing hymn sitting quietly in the play room in front of the glowing Christmas tree with one boy who wouldn't quit fake belching. It was completely distracting for everyone. Tears streamed down my face as I started to feel sorry for myself and incompetent in my abilities as a mother. Surely I've taught them to behave better. How could I help them feel the Spirit of Christmas this year? What more could I do to teach obedience and love? Then my thoughts turned to Christmas and how this devotional usually feels so magical and wonderful. When it ends I usually feel uplifted and giddy for the Christmas season ahead. Instead, I thought about all of the gifts that I carefully thought out this year, purchased, and wrapped for the children. All of our shopping is finished and everything is ready in case baby makes an early arrival. I kept thinking that with all of the extra time I have not worrying about what we are getting the children that I should be able to relax and enjoy a peace filled season. I thought about all of the extra time this has given me to serve others, yet how little opportunity I feel there is to do so, given the pandemic and everything going on. As we quietly sat there, listening to the faint sounds of "Silent Night" coming through the door from my parents home, I was able to feel my Saviors love and approval. Though the road might be difficult, and the days ahead might be filled with little sleep and lots of chaos, I know that I can pray for comfort and He always gives it. 

"In a world so much in need of peace, our gentle words, our acts of compassion and kindness can be the means of wrapping another in a warm, swaddling blanket. I have come to understand that the more we act on promptings to serve others, the more heavenly blankets the Lord gives us to share. Our personal, or virtual touch may make all the difference in the life of a loved one, or even a stranger. " ~Becky Craven