Relief

This morning before he left for work, Mike walked into the kitchen and embraced me in the most heartfelt hug a girl could ask for. Listening to his work shoes as he makes he way to the door each morning always makes me smile. 

I've been stuck on auto-pilot for quite some time now. I didn't realize until this morning how much I was holding back and not letting myself feel. I've been hiding my emotions, putting on a brave face, and placing one foot in front of the other for days and days. 

Seeing the big red signs posted down main street "STOP! No Gathering!", "Keep two meters apart". It makes my heart heavy. All of the unknowns about school starting, the constant pressure from social media to have an opinion or feel bad about your own opinion. Do I keep the kids home in September, or do I let them go. There are just so many unknowns in the world right now. 

 

I've been consuming my time with housework, drowning my emotions in dishes and approaching life one day at a time. I've been forgetting to get lost in the moment and let my soul feel and enjoy and embrace. 

 

I spent most of my morning in the haskap patch, picking and letting the wind blow my hair all about. The cool morning breeze followed by the warmth of the sun on my face was refreshing. I enjoyed the company of my parents and lots of chubby toddler fingers to help pick (and eat, and dump the bucket).  Listening to the morning bird song and laughter of children playing in the yard was such a treat. 

 

As I walked back to the house in the sprinkling rain, I let out a sigh of contentment. I felt my heart healing and the familiar feeling of joy creeping back in. Today my soul found relief in the haskap patch.