Little Things

It is finally starting to feel a little bit like Spring. For the last few weeks we have woken to the sound of birds singing in our backyard. This morning the combination of blue sky, first morning light, and birds singing made me giddy for warmer weather to come. After waving the big kids off to school I had a huge desire to start Spring cleaning. I tore apart the windows in the upstairs bedrooms, caked with dirt and grime, and washed them in the tub. The crisp morning air was refreshing! The boys played at my feet, wrestled on the toddler bed, and giggled away while I scrubbed the gunk out of the window sills. It's a simple thing that only I will notice, but it felt so good to see them all nice and white again when I put them back together. Once we were all finally dressed and ready for the day, we went out for a walk! Beautiful weather like this must not be wasted inside.

Lately balance has been a huge struggle for me. Our house always feels like a disaster and there is endless spills and messes to clean up. It's always hard to decided between work and play. If work wins, I feel guilty for not playing, and if play wins, then not enough work gets done.  There is a continual pile of laundry to be folded on my downstairs couch, and the sink is rarely empty of dirty dishes.  Just a few weeks ago somebody spilled their hot chocolate after complaining about how little they got compared to everyone else. The cup was too close to the edge and it truly was an accident. I had to swallow my anger over being called names and remind myself to have a gentle touch as I went over to said child and asked if he was okay. Then I looked at the floor and what I thought was an empty cup was not. I totally had to bite my lip as I mopped up the puddle of sticky hot chocolate and throw out the mug with the busted handle. I then took a deep breath and excused myself to my room. Sometimes all of the frustrating parts of a day build and build and when they finally climax ya just need a good cry. My dear boy found me tucked under the covers in my room, told me he loved me and apologized for spilling. I wasn't even really upset about that, just everything. He brought me his eye-spy book to cheer me up and asked if we could do it together. So, instead of starting dinner, we snuggled on my bed with our backs against the tear stained pillow finishing page after page of the book.

Motherhood teaches so much about forgiveness, patience, and understanding. I feel so blessed to have all of these littles in our home to help me learn more about myself. I've been jotting down these little things over the past month just so I never forget the way things are right now. The kids are growing up so fast! The older two spend more time away from home than at home and it's so hard for me! I am trying to make the time we spend together count and make sure that their needs and concerns are met. The little guys are so busy that most days feel like a blur. Sometimes it does me good to slow down and pray to see the world through their eyes.

Camilla is so grown up lately. Her sense of humor is hilarious and she is super witty! Sometimes she has a hard time with all of these brothers of hers and often asks for special girl time, or extra chats. She has kept her room clean for practically an entire year and has a nice little routine. She pre-dates all of her journal pages and makes sure to only write one page each night. She is ultra organized and often reminding us of when she needs rides to activities and where the meeting spot is for pick up. A few weeks ago she and Hyrum left for school without their fundraising forms (which were due that day). I quickly loaded the boys and headed to the school to drop them off. Just as I had parked my phone rang, it was Camilla, to remind me that the forms were due today and ask if I could drop them off. I told her Joe was just on his way to the office with them and she ran and met him there. She is always on top of everything and I love it! I never have to worry about her forgetting to do anything. She has just started gymnastics once a week and absolutely loves it! Her size and athletic abilities are definitely in her favor. My favorite thing about her growing up right now is when she hops up on the counter top at days end and chats my ear off over a bowl of ice cream. She is so great to be around!

Hyrum is our quiet boy. His mind is always scheming and dreaming. He often forgets school stuff, but still does incredibly well on the things he does remember to do. The other day he came home and excitedly told me that he had won the innovation challenge. He built a very geometric structure from straws, pipe cleaners, paper plate and pieces of clay. It was the tallest in his class and didn't fall over when tipped or shaken. He was super excited! I just smiled that's my Hyrum. He loves to draw art filled with shapes and designs and it's often very balanced on either side. His newest love is a hand-me-down skate board and he spends every afternoon riding it in the driveway.

Joseph is looking older these days! He is tall, and charasmatic, and goofy. My very favorite thing about Joe is the freckles that dust his nose and the twinkle in his eye when he smiles. He is the kind of kid that needs to be busy and active. When he starts complaining or teasing someone, he gets a job. His favorite thing to do is wash the walls. I love the way he describes things. One day he told me that something felt "scrubby" and another day that something felt like "dry cleaning". He is one of a kind and certainly knows how to push my buttons. At bedtime he always farts in his bed right before I lie with him to ask him about his day. Often he will knock on the wall after I've tucked him in just to make the dog bark, which makes me furious because the baby is often asleep an hour earlier. He thinks it's hilarious and I smile at his quiet giggle as I yell from the livingroom that it's time to settle down. He and Hyrum are sharing a room in the basement now and he loves feeling grown up and having his big brother around. He loves making new friends, and seeks to please others. This is a good thing, and a bad thing sometimes. There has been moments of mooning at the park to get a laugh. The other day we took the kids to an indoor play place and he spent the entire time running around with a boy he just met. Making new friends is his very favorite thing.

Finley is adorable, and strong willed, and full of spunk these days. I wish I could record him all day long because the things he says are hilarious. Maybe not so much the things he says, but the way he says them. He often asks for "toast and dam" for breakfast. He never says "yeah" or "yup", it's always "yes" with the sweetest little "S" sound at the end. I love his random "I love you's" when he notices I'm frazzled or having a hard day. He is the biggest tease and gets great joy out of bugging his older siblings...and the dog. Often I find myself shouting "FI---Joe--FINN! Stop teasing the puppy!" Sometimes at the dinner table he will look across at Joe and say "Are you stinkin' what I'm stinkin'?" He means "are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" but it's turned into quite a funny thing with the older siblings. He pronounces Oliver's name "aw-viv-er" and it melts my heart. He loves the word "super" and often uses to it to describe things. "I super wuv smoodies!" or "I just wuv dees jammies super much!" He is at the tricky age where he could still nap, but doesn't always need to. Often he crashes late afternoon on the couch or in a corner somewhere. And somehow after everyone else has been tucked in and fallen asleep, he manages to sneak downstairs and enjoy some special mommy and daddy time. We let him stay up with us because he won't be little forever, and as a fourth child it's not often you get one and one with your parents. He shares our snacks and kisses our cheeks and tells us he "wuvs" us. Then he falls asleep next to me on the couch and Daddy carries him to bed.

Oliver is such a little man now! He is looking so grown up and I am cherishing his whispy blonde hair because I know it won't last forever. He loves hard, as in, he loves to run across a room and crash into you for a hug. I love the way he hooks his arms around my neck and kisses me with his wet lips. My mornings often begin when Ollie knocks on his door and says "mom...moooooommm...mum!" repeatedly until I let him out. Daddy is one of his very favorite people in this house and he always looks for him first thing in the morning and screeches with glee when he gets home after work. His favorite thing to do right now is rearrange my kitchen chairs. He is constantly pushing chairs up to the counters and climbing right up. The other day I came upstairs to find him crawling around my freshly wiped counter tops. He had emptied half of my hand soap and swirled it around the counters with my scrub brush. He had the hugest grin on his face and was NOT happy when I took him down. He is quite the dare devil and loves to balance on the arms of our couches and try to jump from the highest parts of the parks. He has graduated from his old open-close handed wave to waving his whole arm back and forth. His whole body practically shakes as he waves good-bye with his crazy eyes and open mouth. He's such a riot! Now that the weather is warmer he is always wanting to be outside and often cries or gets upset if I sit down on the couch instead of putting on his shoes. He has mastered his bum-drops on the trampoline and is learning to stay away from the edges. He loves playing with "reese" and says her name so well.

We are loving the warmer weather this week and the way that the sunshine is warming our souls. I feel like the change in seasons has given me a new energy and appreciation for things. It's so refreshing. One of my favorite times of day right now is when I get to tuck in the little boys. Fin will often ask me to lay with him and rub his back. Almost every night without fail the Geese fly over just as he's falling asleep. It's such a fun thing to listen to while we are snuggled in that dimly lit bedroom. Life is busy and full right now, but we sure love it!