Speak Gently

Today I woke up feeling super grumpy. We spent the morning trying to find a lost swimming suit before the bus came and everyone was a tad bit overtired still. I managed to make French toast for breakfast. Camilla squeezed in a super quick violin practise and then just about missed her bus. They've had a substitute driver and she comes five minutes earlier than usual. 

The boys and I headed to the city to run some errands. They were good so we braved the wind and hit up a nearby park. New parks are always exciting and even though the slides were out of order they had a blast! 

Finley surprised me by navigating up AND down a ladder. He's getting so big these days. Despite the cold they didn't want to leave. It took me a while to convince them that it was time to head home for lunch. 

We stopped at a gas station on our way out of town. As I was filling up the van Joe's plastered his face against the window, mouth open wide and tears on his cheeks. I looked in the back to find two boys in a tussle. Shoes and fists were flying in turn as they tried to work out their differences. I tapped the window and gave them my mom eyes. When I realized there wasn't much I could do from where I was standing, a small laugh escaped my lips as I shook my head at their boyish ways. 

They continued to wail as I drove away, so I parked and made them both get out. "You want to hit him? Hit him! As hard as you can right in the nose..." Hyrum turned his head to hide his smirk and wipe the remaining tears. Joe exclaimed, "No! He's my best friend! I don't want to hurt him!" I will never understand boys... While they hugged and made up I caught a stranger a few cars over smiling to himself after watching the whole scene play out. We all buckled up and headed home. The boys slept in the back while I soaked in the beauty of wide open fields, big red barns, and farmers prepping the ground to plant. 

As I pulled into the garage everyone woke and began screaming for something. Joe was starving, the baby needed feeding, and Fin had a dirty bum. Diaper changes took priority and I tried to take deep calm breathes as Joe yelled from the top of the stairs. 

Everyone cheered up quickly with some lunch. Hyrum and Fin went down to play together and Joe helped me bake cookies. He measured and dumped all of the ingredients and rolled over half of them on his own. It was so satisfying for him and he proudly brought some cookies to his brothers once they cooled. It was a huge success because I didn't burn a single pan!

When I was at Michaels this morning I fell in love with a wall hanging that had this quote on it. It was way more money than I'd usually spend on home decor and I loved it so much that I even placed it in the cart for a few minutes (until I talked myself back out of it). Instead the boys helped me pick out a cute frame and I found a free printable online. I am so pleased with how it turned out! 

By mid afternoon all of the couch cushions were off and the boys were engaged in a crazy game of make believe. I sat in the rocking chair with the captor at my breast watching the chaos unfold. I've been desperately trying to wean this dear babe of mine but he's stubborn. I'm trying to savor these afternoon nursing sessions because he is growing fast and soon they will be no more. I watched him drift to sleep with the dog curled up at my feet. 

Finley drifted off for his third cat-nap of the day in the late afternoon. Capturing moments like these helps me stay grounded and reminds me why I do what I do. Sometimes the constant mess can be overwhelming and other days I'm able to stay calm inside despite the happy chaos. 

At days end I found myself snuggled in a single bed with my boy, my baby, and a puppy as dark clouds blew in from the West. When Joe twitched his leg and all three were breathing deeply I knew it was safe to tuck the babe into his crib.