Patience

The big kids went for a sleepover at Auntie Emma's this weekend and Joseph suddenly became the oldest child at home. I was crossing my fingers for a bit of extra sleep this morning but he came to my bedside at 5:00am and proudly proclaimed that he stayed in his bed "all night!" Then he promptly asked for breakfast. I pulled him in for a snuggle in hopes that he would drift back to sleep for another hour, but I had no luck.

We have been working on patience for quite a while. Joseph is a go-getter. When he wants something, he wants it now. If everyone is calling me for something, he makes sure he's the loudest so that I will hear him first. There are also up-sides to this though, like when he really wants to help you with something, he works pretty hard at it until it's done. He's a good kid.

At lunch time today he kept asking me for something over and over. "Joseph, honey, could you please be patient?" I asked. His reply, "Patience, like when I want my breakfast and I have to wait a long time?" A smirk formed on my face. "Exactly buddy, patience means waiting". 

Even if it's for your tired mamma at 5:00am.

I love that boy and his insightfulness.

Little Tid-bits

Daddy and I both hit the snooze button on our alarms and stay in bed until the last possible minute. The children soon begin trickling into our bedroom. Joe hops up for a cuddle, followed by Hyrum who is carrying his egg carton boat. He is anxious to float it, remembering the promise I had made him the night before. Joe flicks my light on and wanders over to his room to get dressed while I make my way to the kitchen. Between waking up three times to find someones lost nickel, changing bedding in the middle of the night, and a teething baby I didn't get a whole lot of sleep.

Finley plays quietly in his crib while I mix up a batch of pancakes to fill hungry tummies. I put the first one on to cook and retrieve Fin from his crib. He bounces with excitement when I walk into his room. As I near the edge of the crib he scans around for a "peace offering" and quickly passes me his sippy with a sleepy smile.  I scoop him up and nuzzle his cheeks. He kicks his legs happily so I set him down to run. He quickly finds his way to the table and everyone enjoys pancakes and homemade syrup. While they chow down we do a quick morning scripture study and send our school girl off with a family prayer.

I spend the morning listening to Joe and Finley giggle with glee as they chase each other around the main floor and I do dishes. I fall in love with Finley and his bo-legged walk, teetering side to side, laughter sneaking out with each step. 

While I clean the kitchen the boys float their boats in the tub. They are over the moon with excitement as they blow the sails and watch their boats swirl around. Hyrum makes plans for a crows nest on top of the sail and spends the day planning and scheming. 

After lunch we head out for a walk. We check the mail and make our way to the park for a swing. Finley's giggles rise up from deep inside his tummy and fill the air with pure joy. After a while we begin our short walk home. The boys find giant puddles and can't help but sprawl out in them, snow gear and all. They came home drenched, smiling from ear to ear. I am so looking forward to Summer.

Before long it's nap time. Joseph begs to stay up and since bed time's have been a little tricky I oblige. We have quiet time while Finley snoozes. Inevitably as soon as Joseph stops moving, he falls asleep (far too late in the afternoon). I let out a sigh and lay a blanket on him, knowing that this will destroy bed time, he looks so cute though!

When Camilla gets home from school they all take to the back deck for a picnic and fresh air. It almost feels like spring. Finley runs around the deck smiling his toothy grin, feeling free. I am excited for him to experience the outdoors in the warmer weather!

I put dinner in to cook and then head down stairs with the littles. I relax on the couch with my crochet project in hand releasing the craziness of the day out my finger tips. Finley brings me toy after toy, pleased with my gratitude, and before long I have a lap full of farm animals. 

Camilla takes an interest in her baby brother and pulls him up on her knee for a snuggle. She kisses his head and smells him. Even at one year old, he still carries that lovely baby/toddler scent. Something in between baby shampoo and arrowroot cookies. He smiles as she bounces him up and down on her lap, and I can't help but grin as they show love to one another. The play on the floor together and he tackles her to the ground with glee. It is noisy, but the kind of noise that fills me to the brim with joy. I love seeing my children interact with each other and show love. 

Joseph clutches a handful of papers, his new bed time story, written and illustrated by his big sister earlier that afternoon all about a happy family with a mom, a dad, three children, and a baby. He can hardly wait for me to read the three pages to him at bed time. 

Hyrum gets up from his drawing and joins Camilla and Finley on the floor, playing and laughing. They talk about how much they love their baby brother and how much fun he is to play with. Then Hyrum comes over to observe my work. He tells me how much he wishes the blanket I'm making was for him. Joseph comes over and compliments my color choices and tells me how much he wishes I would make him a blanket for Christmas. I wrap them in the small bit that I have completed and they smile.

Soon Daddy is home and we gather at the table for a late family dinner. I am pleased as they eat their plates all gone for once. Then the bedtime rush ensues. The littles wiggle into their jammies with many reminders, and then they brush their teeth. Night prayers are said and Daddy and I divide and conquer. I take the younger two up while Daddy reads with the older ones. 

I finish off my night with my hands in a hot, sudsy sink of water. I leave the kitchen clean with a candle flickering on a freshly wiped counter. The time after bedtime is so important. Spending time with Mr. Stannix, or working on my crochet projects soothes me after a long day. We relish in it until we can hardly keep our eyelids open and then we turn out the lights and head up to bed.

Steady

 Life has been pretty steady and the weeks keep rushing by. The children have decided to call a sleep strike and Joseph had a few doozie tantrums in the middle of the night. It's easier to just let him sleep in our bed, but I'm afraid it's becoming a bit of a bad habit. Last night I put my foot down, and he wasn't too happy about it. He still woke up bright and early this morning and brought the box of shreddies to my bed side begging for "bepest". As we sat together eating he tugged my arm and said, "Mommy, I love you up to the moon and back." I smiled and let out a sleepy sigh as I struggled to hold my eyelids open. The "I love you's" and watching him sleep for a few minutes at nap time always help get me through my day after a rough night.

I had some chicken pot pie filling in the fridge and some meat waiting to be made into lasagne. I mustered up all my strength and put together some pie crust while Hyrum sat quietly in his own little world and drew picture after picture. I love that budding artist of mine! 

The bread worked it's magic while the pie crust chilled.  My kitchen was sparkly clean this morning, but it never stays that way for long. I made three loaves of bread, a dozen cinnamon buns, two chicken pot pies and a lasagna. It was a busy couple of hours, but it felt good to be productive!

Once everything was finished I was wishing I could curl up for an afternoon nap, just like Finley. Instead, I curled up on the couch with a partly finished blanket on my lap and worked another row. Maneuvering the hook and pulling up yarn is soothing.  The children played happily and jumped up for cuddles every now and again. 

Daddy had a sick day today and we loved having him around. Hyrum drew him lots of pictures and Finley was super excited to see him throughout the day. We had a great Family Home Evening lesson and tucked each child in with a story and a back rub. I am ready to put up my feet and add another row to my blanket before bed!

Fresh Air

 When Camilla got home from school today I threw my afternoon plans out the window and decided to head to the park with the littles. Everything was melting and there were puddles of slush everywhere. They had fun splashing in the slushy puddles and rolling snowballs. The air was fresh and exhilarating. Finley was thrilled to be hanging out with his older siblings! He loves getting outside any chance he can. It was a much needed break from dishes and being cooped up. We all went home feeling less grumpy than when we left! 

 

Multiplying my Love

It's been a long day and I am more than ready to fall into bed and sleep for twelve hours straight (or even three). There's baby drool and snot all over my clothes and a brown spot on my pants which could either be a smear of ginger cookie or something else.  Nights have been long lately with a three year old who somehow always ends up in our bed, and a little one who is currently cutting his twelve month molars. Yikes. Throw in the odd middle of the night sheet change, walking the halls to sooth the baby,  and you have my last two weeks. 

Last night I fell asleep feeling incredibly lonely and unfulfilled. I had spent my day doing dishes, baking treats and bread, tidying over and over again, running errands, picking up dry cleaning, navigating grocery stores with the littles and craving adult conversation. Mr. Stannix is in the heat of busy season and hasn't been getting home until late. I'm still trying to kick this awful cold that has caused me to lose my voice and feel achy all day (which I probably got from being over tired), and I'm exhausted. It doesn't matter how much I clean throughout the day, the dishes still end up in the sink shortly after I've finished and paper clippings magically reappear on the floor under the craft table. 

Being a mother is a non-stop job and I've come to discover one qualification for motherhood is the ability to move from one task to the next without actually completing anything. The laundry never gets completely folded before someone calls for lunch. The dishes are never really finished because you have to pause for a diaper change or homework help. And our basement will never be completely tidy. It's a good thing I'm a just-roll-with-it kinda girl or I'm sure I'd be insane by now.

I kind of lost it one night last week. We had just come to the witching hour after a hairy day where no one seemed to be getting along. I started dinner while Finley opened doors and drawers in the kitchen spilling tupperware all over the floor and unfolding my dish towels. He would open the door to the garbage and slowly reach his hand in for the prized empty yogurt container like it was a rare treasure. I stirred spaghetti sauce and alternated holding the drawer shut with my right foot and the door to the garbage shut with my left as Finley whizzed back and forth giggling hysterically at my frustration. Eventually I put up the baby gate and gave him free range on the bedrooms. I heard him emptying his drawers and imagined the pile of unfolded clothes that was now covering his floor, but I didn't even care because I needed a few minutes of sanity. Camilla asked what's for dinner and I quickly responded. "Guess what's for dinner!?" she shouted to the boys, "Spaghettiiiiii! And the crowd goes WILD!" And wild they were. After about the hundredth complaint I had grown tired of who hit who first and ended up chucking my wooden spoon at the stove (hard enough that I had to wipe sauce off my cupboards, microwave, and the ceiling later). Some days are just plain rough! As we read scriptures that night Camilla plunked down beside me and put her arm around me tenderly, knowing I had a rough day. Her thoughtfulness amazes me!

I always search for special moments throughout my day to keep me going until bedtime. Last week I baked cinnamon buns and timed them so that they would come out of the oven just as our favorite sister got off the bus. The door flew open as she bobbed into the house. "Cinnamon buns!" she exclaimed, "My nose knows!" They all gathered around the kitchen table and enjoyed their warm cinnamon buns as they discussed their days and plans for play. At that moment, my mother heart smiled.

The boys are a lot of fun these days! As I draw things for them or play with them I hear Hyrum say, "Mom, you're a genius!" Joseph echos his older brother, "Yeah, you're a geen-yus!"

Finley has picked up a lot of hilarious things lately and often watching his older siblings and copies them. I picked Camilla up from school today and shouted to the backseat, "Do you guys want a smoothie when we get home?" "YEAHH!" they all shouted in unison. A second later Finley turned his head towards me and echoed, "EAHHH!!!" The kids thought it was so hilarious they made me ask them three more times just to hear him copy them again. When we got home I mixed up a delicious smoothie with an avocado and a huge handful of spinach snuck in for good measure.

One afternoon I heard the two little boys giggling in the bathroom and came in to find Finley splashing around in the toilet while Joseph giggled in the corner. I let out a small sigh and pursed my lips as the corners curled up into a small smile. Little boys and toilets is an all too familiar thing in our house.

When I change Finley's bum Hyrum wraps his arms around my neck from behind and gives me a piggy-back hug. I sure love that tender boy of mine.

Camilla's been really into making bracelets for her friends at school. The other day she gave one to a girl that she's been having a hard time with. After the kids were in bed I opened up her agenda and found a little folded card tucked into the front pocket. It was written by this little girl and I was so proud of Camilla I could have cried! The note read 'To Camilla. You are my best frend. Theincyoo for the braslit' and finished by signing her name. I was so glad that Camilla had decided to be nice to this girl even though she wasn't being nice to her. Things are now much better between them. I think this little girl just needed a friend.

It amazes me how much children can teach us. Whenever I'm feeling lonely I just have to remind myself of the love that surrounds me each day as I go about my motherly duties. These short people are the only one's who can drive me totally crazy and fill me with so much love all in the same breath. My heart aches for them as I fall asleep at night thinking about all of the things they are going to face in this crazy world. They are growing so fast and I am enjoying life as we roll into this next phase. I love that they catch my jokes and laugh at some of the same things I do. I have to constantly remind myself to relax and just enjoy.

I love the Family Circus cartoon by Bil Keane where a mother of four is asked, "How do you divide your love between four children?" and she replies, "I don't divide it. I multiply it." Even on really hard days such as these, I believe this answer entirely. 

Lunchtime

 I woke up with hardly any voice this morning (which I'm sure makes my kids super happy). Finley hugged my legs in the kitchen while I made some blueberry pancakes. The children devoured their breakfast while I packed Camillas lunch and before I knew it she was off to catch the bus. We spent the morning running some errands and ended up having to go to more places than we wanted to because one store was out of eggs, except the organic kind which are like six bucks and there was no way I was paying that much for eggs. One our way to get the eggs at another store I noticed that cases of soup and itchyban were on sale for a steal! I added them to the cart and we all made our way to the checkout just as Finley fell asleep in the carrier on my back. When we got home, he woke up super happy and thoroughly enjoyed his itchyban! This guy is such a goon lately and sometimes he's the biggest reason I make it through my day.

 *sweet and innocent*

Baby A

Joseph will often tell me, "Mom, I love you all the way to Edmonton and back!" And I always reply, "Wow! That's far!" Well, today we drove all the way to Edmonton, and back. It was a long day for the littles but they did pretty good! We stopped at my grandparents and were welcomed by a warm pot of chili. One thing I love about my grandparents is that you're always served food of some sort no matter what time of the day you arrive. We always leave with full bellies, and full hearts. Joseph sat for quite a while with his great-gramma, glancing up every once in a while to say, "Gramma, I love you so much!" 

 

When the children started getting antsy we loaded up again and drove across the city to the Wolsey's! They welcomed a beautiful baby girl over the Christmas holidays and I had been itching to get up there and meet her. 

This was the biggest reason for our long drive. Miss Adeline is so precious and I was glad I got to meet her before she got too much bigger!

This family is one of the things we miss most about good old Edmonton.

In the late afternoon Jessica put some cookies in the oven and we all enjoyed them warm a few minutes later. 

Camilla couldn't wait to hold Clara's baby sister. She's had a lot of practice with three younger brothers! We left just before dinner so that they could have a few minutes before welcoming family. When it was time to put on our boots Clara started to cry. I looked at that cute, curly haired girl and my voice broke, "Clara, you're going to make me cry, too!" Jess and I wiped away tears as we shared a long embrace to fill us up enough until the next time we could see each other. 

We then skipped across the city and stopped in at Mike's mom's for a bit before grabbing dinner. We picked up donairs from our favorite place and drove to Arland and Naomi's to check out their place and eat. When bedtime rolled around we said our good-bye''s and hit the road for the long haul home. It took way longer than we thought it would for everyone to fall asleep, but at least some of our drive was peaceful! The snow blew across the highway and conditions weren't ideal, but Mr. Stannix has some pretty great driving skills and we all made it home safe and sound. We tucked our sleepy kids into bed and then fell fast asleep!

Time to Be

I cherish our simple life. I really do. I love being able to stay at home with the boys and just spend time together. We don't schedule a lot of extra activities and aside from exploring nature whenever we can, we don't go out a whole lot. The kids spend their inside time building lego, racing cars, or playing make-believe with their stuffies. They spend the majority of their days developing and using their imagination and problem solving skills. A lot of the time they are left to their own while I fold laundry, do up the dinner dishes from the day before, or scrub bathrooms. I listen with a smile from wherever I am while they play house, fight bad guys, or build block towers. I love when we're together and the children are forming friendships with one another.

The other day Camilla came home from school and told us about all of the fun things that she did that day. Hyrum piped in, "That sounds like fun! I wish I could go to school." Camilla (wise beyond her years) replied, "Ya know, Hyrum, sometimes you guys do a lot of fun things and I wish I could just stay home all day." It warmed my heart to hear her say that. Sometimes when I look back at what we did over the day I wonder if I did enough. If I gave enough. I sometimes wonder if I should be putting my kids in more extracurricular activities like all of their friends. But I can't stand the thought of running all over the place to make it to dance, hockey, soccer, baseball, swimming, piano lessons, and the like. While these guys are small I am totally cherishing the time we have together. Right now I am loving our slow, easy afternoons full of discovery and delight.

While we were eating our lunch today I glanced out at the sunshine and sparkly snow and decided to take the boys outside for part of the afternoon. The weather was gorgeous and the sun warmed our cheeks as we played. Finley was thrilled to escape the confines of the house and explore!

It wasn't anything special, and we weren't outside for an overly long time, but we enjoyed each others company. I loved listening to them giggle as I pushed them "higher and higher, Mommy!" I loved watching Finley break path in the snow, falling and getting up over and over again. I came back in feeling refreshed and grateful that I tagged along instead of just sending the older boys to the park to play. 

With Hyrum reaching Kindergarten age a lot of people have started asking me if I am going to send him to school. I have a feeling I might keep him home for Kindergarten, just to soak up days like these for a little while longer.

I stumbled across a really great blog post the other day and she totally expressed exactly what I needed to hear. "We don't need to rush from one enrichment activity to the next. We simply need the time to be together...Constant activity without time to recharge is like growing a plant without roots. Children need roots."

Our life may not seem overly exciting to some, but we sure love having time to just be together! 

Recent Height Stats

 

These crazy kids are 

g

    r

o

  w

       i

   n

g

like weeds!!

A Sunbeam

Joseph has been looking forward to joining his older siblings in Primary for the last little while. With the start of the new year he moved up into the Sunbeam class with ten other three year olds from nursery. I team teach this class with another lady in our ward and it's been fun watching Joseph transition and grow. The kids are busy, but we have a lot of laughs (when he's not folded over my lap complaining of hunger).

Keeping Up

 I spent a lot of my afternoon sitting on the playroom floor trying to clean up while the boys ran "Zig-zag fast" from one end to the other and all around. Finley has morphed into a little boy and prefers walking to crawling these days. As the boys zigged this way and that Finley ran in circles trying to keep up! He would become intimidated as they wooshed by and plop on his bottom with a giggle even though he was totally left in the dust. I fell in love with his wobbly little walk and the way his brothers tried to include him in their game. I'm sure most of his life will be spent "keeping up" to those big brothers of his. Love these busy boys!

A Full Time Job

Snow has been gently falling since we arrived home from picking Daddy up late last night. Everyone woke up a little on the tired side due to the late night and cold weather. Hyrum came to my bedside this morning and snuggled in next to me for a few minutes before I decided it was time to wake the rest of the children. We have spent the day cozied up at home drinking hot chocolate, watching cartoons, and crocheting. I completed a cute little hat and bootie set this morning while the boys played nicely together. These last few days have been almost heavenly. Everyone is agreeable and kind once again and there has been minimal fighting and arguing. 

A few of the littles are still getting over colds which makes playtime more quiet and calm. Finley has spent a lot of time walking across the livingroom. Just when he's about to tumble he collides into me with a big excited hug, and then promptly wipes his snotty nose all over the front of my shirt. Those hugs are pretty special, snot and all! Wiping Finley's nose has pretty much become a full time job these days. I can't wait for those four little teeth to come in and his cough to subside! 

Lego Land

 Hyrum got a bunch of lego for Christmas and loves creating! So far he's been enjoying the instruction books included (and online). Today while the little boys were napping the two of us fixed his helicopter and made a castle and a digger. I love how much he soaks up our quality time. "You're the best mom ever!" he told me. I think this will definitely become a new nap time tradition. We had a lot of fun together!

Farm Fresh

This morning we finished off the last of our farm fresh eggs that my Mom lovingly shared with us when we left after Christmas. I loved opening up the second dozen to find a little feather nestled in between a couple of the eggs. There's nothing better than the taste of farm fresh eggs!

Life Lately

It may be a new year, but life is still much the same in the Stannix household. There are piles of laundry, dishes in the sink, and toys scattered all over the basement! But we've had a lot of fun skating, sledding, and relaxing with the children over these past couple of weeks. Today was Camilla's first day back to school, and of course it was the only night that Finley slept through and the children stayed in bed until past 7:00am. I almost laughed out loud at the irony as I quietly crept down the stairs to wake the older two. They quickly dressed and then came up for a warm bowl of cream of wheat. Joseph's almost got cold as he slept another half hour longer nestled in my bed. He likes to keep Daddy's side warm while he's away for a training session.

I've found myself kind of in a funk lately. Although we are making friends here and figuring out our way around, I have found myself missing our "old" life a whole lot lately. I keep thinking about all of the friends I could be serving in our old stomping grounds and how big their kids must be getting now. I miss having weekly visits and sharing mothering woes with good friends who are completely loving and aware. I've spent the last couple of days making slippers to surprise a friend with. They were made with love, and a few tears as I thought back over the journey of our friendship and where we both are now in our lives. I am positive that things will get better here, but every once in a while I sure ache for that best friend of mine. 

Along with a new year comes some new goals for myself and our family. I've been mulling over a lot of things lately trying to compile lists of things that are and are not working for us right now. As we work our way back into routine we've had lots of attitude adjustments and discipline issues. I have a rambunctious preschooler who is very rough and tumble and a four year old who's suddenly developed an attitude the size of Mount Everest. I can't help but stare at him with my mother eyes, mouth gaping open, and wonder to myself where in the world he's learned this stuff! I am pretty much at my wits end with both of these issues as I scower the web for parenting tips and tricks. The other night all three of them were picking on each other and when I'd finally had enough I lined them all up on the couch for a little chat. I sat in front of them and asked them why Heavenly Father put us in families? Was it so that we could beat on each other whenever we were angry? I told them we were put in families to help each other. To learn to love and serve and to become what Heavenly Father wants us to be. As I shared these thoughts with them tears streamed down my cheeks (and a few of them even got watery eyes). We ended our little chat with a group hug and a promise to try better tomorrow, knowing full well some of it will continue the next day and I will find myself saying things like, "Don't throw salt at people, please!" as we eat dinner.

As I've tried to narrow down why the children have suddenly morphed into little monsters I can't help but wonder if it's something I've done wrong. I wonder if I'm giving them enough attention, if they're feeling enough of that love that is deep in my heart for them. I wonder if I'm giving them enough hugs and kisses, or words of encouragement. I'm pretty sure I could ease up on the criticism and remind myself more often that they are just kids. They are going to make mistakes, and messes, and tell me "no" once in a while. It's all part and parcel of the growing and learning process. A few weeks ago in church I heard a quote that was like a light bulb moment for me. It was something along the lines of "If you find yourself losing your patience often then you are probably spending too much time IN the world." It dawned on me that when I find myself scrolling through the news feed on my facebook, or comparing my life to someone elses via a blog, I become very impatient! It also usually means I'm not doing a good job keeping up my relationship with my Father in Heaven. There is so much going on in the world right now and this year I hope to be better at sifting through it and only bringing into our home things that will uplift and edify. Not to mention when I'm scrolling through facebook ten times a day I am totally neglecting my responsibilities as a mother. I could definitely improve in that area, and will be focusing more on it this year.

Another thing I'd like to focus on this year is taking better care of myself. I could definitely use a lot more rest in 2016! We've begun the year with some massive colds and I feel like I spend all day wiping snotty noses and all night listening to children cough. My diet could definitely use some work as it consists mostly of toast, cookies, muffins, crackers and whatever other quick things I can get my hands on during the day. I don't often take time to sit and eat a meal because, well, there's dishes to be done, and floors to be mopped, and snotty noses to be wiped and that kind of stuff. I do know that when I eat properly my mood and energy levels improve drastically!

I don't mean for it to sound like life is all bad, sometimes it's just nice to sneak a little reality in every once in a while. I am so grateful for those little happy moments that get sandwiched in between the hard stuff. I adore listening to Camilla read to her brothers. Hyrum is so cuddly and has such a kind heart (when he's not grumping). Joseph's one liners are pretty humorous and I'm kicking myself for not writing them down. Finley loves when I get on the floor to play with him and his new favorite place to sit when I'm laying down is right on my stomach looking down at me. He will grin and giggle and jump up and down forever. Sometimes I like to sit on the floor while I put the finishing touches on my crochet slippers and he will come and plop down right in my lap with a squeal of delight, overtaking my project with those kissable cheeks of his. He also loves giving hugs to everyone and will lay on their shoulder with a little "aww" and a cuddle.

Each night before bed I like to check on each of them. I gently tug the covers back up to their chins, place the books on the shelves, and lightly kiss their cheeks. It is in these moments that I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the blessing that they are in my life. Mothering is one of the hardest things I've ever done. It requires endless energy, a selfless heart, a deep love, and a relationship with the Savior. But I am grateful for the way my children are molding and shaping me into that woman that I want to become. Slowly, day by day, I am becoming wiser, more patient, and more in tune with their needs. Looking back I'm sure the good will stick out more then the bad. Why else would all of the sweet old ladies I meet in the grocery store tell me that it was the best years of their lives? I'm sure they shared the same struggles I am going through right now. If they can do it, I can do it!

Happy New Year!