Guardian of the Hearth

We woke this morning to a heavy fog. The world outside had magically transformed into a sparkly winter wonderland. After two days of wind and threatening clouds we were surrounded by such beauty. The trees were all dressed in white and sparkled as the sun came up over the rooftops. Joseph sat himself at the breakfast table and rubbed his tired eyes, "It's really soggy out today, Mom" he said, as he looked out the kitchen window. Of course he meant foggy, but that made it all the more adorable. As I watched him sitting there I thought about when I caught him in the backyard a few days ago surfing on a sled in his sock feet and t-shirt and smiled to myself. It's been a warm winter, but not quite that warm!

The children gobbled their pancakes and asked for seconds and then we stepped outside into the white world to walk Camilla to the bus. The sidwalks were ice and the air nipped our cheeks. Hyrum shrunk into his jacket for warmth as we crossed the street to the bus stop. We waved Camilla off and then skated home on the slippery walks. 

The boys spent the morning playing in the cozy livingroom. They used their imaginations and cut paper skis for their little toy men and explored the slippery slopes of the couch and piles of laundry that I needed to fold. 

Just before lunch we slipped out to the store for a few things. The boys stared out the van window wide-eyed at the wonder of Winter and frost. At the checkout the cashier complimented me on how well mannered my boys were. I thanked her and smiled because today was just a good day. On the way home Joseph told me again, "It sure is soggy out today, Mom." I smiled and helped correct him, "You're right. It is pretty foggy isn't it?" He's a pretty good listener and replied, "Yup! It's foggy alright."

The boys scooted their chairs up to the island to help me make some PB&J for lunch. Then they hurried off to Joseph's room because they knew that nap time was next. I came in to find that they had switched clothes. Hyrum pretended to be Joseph and hid his smirk as I played along. "Okay, Joseph, off to bed now." Joe ran out happily to watch Finley while I read a bedtime story to Hyrum (pretending to be Joe). When I finished we layed there in silence until he couldn't contain his laughter anymore. "It's me! Hyrum!" This little prank dipped into nap time, but I didn't mind so much, it was funny. I then read to the real Joseph and tucked him in to bed. Finley followed close behind and then it was just me and Hyrum. He begged me to play catch and drew a few pictures. We had a few pretty awesome wrestling matches with the boys in the late afternoon and some awesome sibling rivalry, but for the most part it was a pretty average day.

Camilla has come home from school this week and told me of a few problems she is having with a girl in her class. Although it is sad to hear, I can't help but feel grateful for the opportunity I have to be at home with the children. Some days are really crazy and I raise my voice too much or forget about the wonder of childhood. Sometimes I'm guilty of tending the time and hurrying things along. By the time dinner rolled around today I was exhausted, physically and emotionally. The demands of motherhood are constant. But among all of the hard stuff there is always something to make it worth while, a little bit of humor or an "I love you" card from Camilla. Sometimes after a particularily exhausting day I hit my pillow at night and wonder if my children actually know how much I really love them. Did I tell them enough? Did I nag them too much? And then I'll roll over and find a little note tucked under my pillow that reads "I love yoe, Mom" and all of that doubt and worry is pushed away. 

"Stay, stay at home, my heart, and rest;
Home-keeping hearts are happiest."
-  Henry W. Longfellow,  1807 - 1882

Joseph's new favorite book is "Guess how much I love you". Often throughout the day he will say, "You know I love you so much?" Which translates to "you know how much I love you?" And I will say, "How much?" and he will tell me that he loves me to the kitchen sink, or to the park, or to the roof. It's cute. Most days I am just really grateful for their forgiving nature as I dig my way through this motherhood gig. I wouldn't be able to do it without them teaching me along the way.

It is now way past my bed time. The snow has finally come and the little flakes are twirling around under the glow of the streetlights. We have just a skiff of snow on the walks and roads, untouched by vehicles or footprints. It sure is pretty. The children are all tucked snug in their beds and I should be too, but all I want to do is snuggle up next to them and whisper in their ears how much I love them. I am looking forward to Camilla's day off school tomorrow. I've missed her a lot this week. We are going to tackle a whole lot of Christmas baking and finish up the Christmas cards. The weather will be perfect for it!

 "You are the guardians of the hearth. You are the bearers of the children. You are they who nurture them and establish within them the habits of their lives. No other work reaches so close to divinity as does the nurturing of the sons and daughters of God." -Gordon B. Hinckley