First Day of School

We have been talking about the first day of school for quite a while around here so that our first day would go off without a hitch. Over the last couple of days I have asked Camilla countless times if she's excited, or nervous, or ready. She was always excited and couldn't wait! Last night she made a special request for dinner and then we had a special Family Home Evening, ending with special back to school blessings from Daddy.  The evening didn't quite go as planned with little squabbles and distractions and I'm not even sure if the kids got anything out of the lesson.  Before bed I asked her again if she was excited, and she told me all about her plans for the next morning. I realized that instead of prepping Camilla, I should have been prepping myself! I was not okay with how excited she was to be away from me all day. I wished I could put a stop to this whole school thing and just keep her home with me for one more year. It seemed like this whole going to school ordeal was ending up being more of a life changer for me than for her. She was totally fine with it all while I was aching inside because my little girl was growing up. 

When I woke this morning to nurse Finley I could already hear whispers coming from Camilla's room where she and Hyrum were busy getting things ready for the day. She had picked out her outfit the night before and was all dressed and ready nice and early. I got in trouble for packing her lunch for her because she wanted to do it all herself, we'll see how long that lasts. She let me do up her hair, grabbed a sweater and stuck on her new shoes. She shared a few worries about not knowing how to read enough words, and not knowing who her teacher is, but I reassured her that she will learn and probably love her teacher. I made sure to grab a picture on the front step before we left, and then we all loaded up in the van.

Daddy was kind enough to stay home for a bit this morning so that I could take Camilla to her new school without the other kids in tow. We got there nice and early and met her teacher before being shuffled outside to wait with the rest of the grade one's and their parents. I had cried enough last night that I had nothing left to cry this morning!

As we walked into her classroom she recognized a few friends from soccer. She excitedly hung her backpack and lunch box up on the hooks and her teacher assured me she doesn't dismiss the students at the end of the day until she sees the whites of their parent's eyes. When it came time to leave Camilla hugged me extra tight and hung on for just a few seconds longer than usual. Then I kissed her quick and marched my way out of the classroom as quickly as I could.  As I rounded  the corner to the hall tears stung my eyes, but somehow I knew that she would be okay. 

The boys keep asking where she is and I keep glancing at my watch, counting down the hours until we pick her up! I'm sure I'll get used to it after a week or so. If it is this hard for me to send Camilla to school, I don't even want to think about how hard it will be when she grows up and moves away. I already feel like a piece of my heart is missing. I can't wait to pick her up and hear all about her day!