Sunny Spring

 Today was filled with blue sky and sunshine. Finley happily put himself to sleep amidst the chaos of morning chores and family prayers. When he woke up I enjoyed cuddling him in the rocking chair while the morning sun poured through the window and the older kids played downstairs. 

 

The afternoon brought us to a favorite park full of kids. The combination of Spring break and warm weather made it the busiest I've ever seen it. The kids had fun climbing, sliding and rediscovering. It took Joseph a while to build up the courage to go down the slide. The way he fearlessly bombed down it last year used to make me nervous, so it was nice to see him being a little more cautious this year.

 

We finished up the afternoon playing in the backyard until we saw the clouds rolling in. The weatherman was calling for storms. The littles came in just as the wind started picking up and the rain started spitting. The wind has been howling ever since. It makes me think of Frozen, "A real howler in July eh?" Except it's the end of March. T-shirt weather today, winter coats again tomorrow. 

South America

This morning before church the children came up from the basement and informed me they were heading to South America in search of adventure. Oh how I will miss these days filled with imagination and adventure. I am in love with Hyrum's outfit. Its like Peabody and Sherman combined with the old man from Up. Hilarious!

Land Ho!

 It's late, so this will have to be short and sweet. Here are a few things that made me smile today...

Watching these two as they spent the morning creating together.

Watching Hyrum enjoy loves and cuddles from his baby brother.

Watching this guy explore on our walk this afternoon. Pricless.

I only wished I had a pair of splashing boots so I could join them.

 

Listening to them as they turned into pirates and started shouting "Land Ho!" as they explored this massive puddle and discovered an island of ice in the middle.

Watching Joseph as he trudged through the water singing as he went. I had to pull them away from this body of water with promises of warm milk and caramel when we got home.

Finding Peace

After a fun filled morning we decided to take it slow for the afternoon. The older two were playing quite well tucked away in Camilla's room in an imaginary land. I decided since the house was so quiet, it would be a good time to bath the baby. Joseph was my side kick and drove his army car around at one end of the tub while I bathed the baby at the other end. It was a very peaceful bath time smack in the middle of our afternoon. I spent the next little while smooching my chubby baby all over while I dressed him and trimmed his nails. Joseph played quietly at my feet making the perfect car noises. I couldn't help but breath the moment in deeply. It's not often that moments like these come along with four energetic littles. 

Running a Marathon

Since I was fighting off a headache I went to bed early last night. I felt bad ditching out on Mr. Stannix but standing up hurt my head. When I got the chance to sleep I dreamed of training for my upcoming 5K. Too bad dreaming about it isn't enough training to actually do it. I can't wait for the weather to warm up so I can get out running. On a side note, sometimes I am awake so many times at night with my two year old that I feel like I'm running a marathon. Ten times really is too many... I woke up to two hungry boys and a sparkly clean kitchen. Mr. Stannix slaved away in the late hours of the evening to surprise me with clean pots, a fresh garbage bag, and sparkly faucets. I sure love that guy!

Thumb Sucker

When I wake up, the clock reads shortly after 7:00am. A typical day starts much much earlier so I wake up feeling rested and happy. I head downstairs to get the boys breakfast while Camilla and Finley continue to sleep away. It isn't long before everyone is up and we are sending Daddy off to work. After breakfast we head upstairs for morning chores. I lay Finley on the end of Camilla's bed and begin changing him. As I lean over the bed to chat with him my day old curly hair falls around my face. It still holds a faint smell of ginger cookies from baking the previous afternoon with the littles. It isn't long before the rest of the children join me and start talking to Finley too. "I love Finley mom. Even more than I love power rangers." says Hyrum. I chuckle. We then make beds and get dressed. Once rooms are tidied we kneel down together in Camilla's room for morning prayers. Tears fall as I thank my Heavenly Father for each of my children by name and something that is special about them. Camilla then herds her brothers downstairs while I nurse Finley and lay him down for his morning nap. While I nurse I rock in the chair and gaze out the big window at the snowy skies. Downstairs Camilla plunks away on the piano. I smile at the familiar songs and picture the notes in my head. I admire her desire to practise and build her talent.

After Finley's morning nap we go out to take advantage of a great sale at Carters. Finley has a lot of Summer clothes, but not a lot of warmer stuff in his current size. I get 12 or 13 outfits for just $24 and smile about it all the way home. My stash included jammies for the boys in the next size up, fleece outfits for Finley, a few cozy sleepers, new pants, and a sparkly new shirt for Camilla. The children are excited!

Hyrum puts on his baggy jammies for the day and exclaims, "This is the best day ever!" I smile while I watch him play on his car mat in the mid afternoon. Finley is swinging in his swing, sucking on his thumb and cooing at us all.

I help Camilla with her school while Finley naps in my arms. Sometimes I just can't put him down. I love the feeling of his little body snuggled next to mine. 

I have fallen in love with homeschooling and the way learning happens. We combine Math and Physed by recording the number of skips she can get in a row and then comparing the frequency of numbers, talking about greater than and lesser than values. Science consists of pushing a freshly made snowman off the deck to see what will happen, or watching the yeast foam before I add flour to the bagels. 

We have spaghetti and warm bagels for dinner and wait for Daddy to come home. When Daddy arrives he helps me with the bed time routine and then sits down to eat. And then we get ready to start it all over again tomorrow.

Tres Meses

 Little man is three months old now! He gets squishier and more loveable each day! I love the way he fits into our family with his easy going attitude and endless smiles. He definitely brings a lot of joy to our little home. He has recently become very ticklish and will giggle when I take his arms out of his clothes to change him. It's pretty fun watching him crinkle his nose and let out a giggle or two whenever I put on a new outfit. He loves the interaction and chaos that happens each day. He's become quite the chatterbox and loves to coo and screech at who ever will listen.  I was also excited to see him start rolling from front to back recently.  He still sleeps through anything including his brother's midnight tantrums. If he is fussy it usually means he's tired or hungry. If I wrap him up tight in a blanket he falls asleep almost instantly. He loves soft things and loves to nestle into you when he's falling asleep. Sometimes when Hyrum prays he will say, "Please bless Finley that he will be this little forever because I like him this way..." It's super cute! Camilla always talks about how excited she is to see what he will look like when he's grown up like Joe. Joseph has mastered his "baby voice" and often goes inches from Finley's face and says, "Hi wee-wee, hi bu-dy" in his high pitched voice. He also tells me often that "baby's cute". Thanks to Daddy I was able to grab some smiley pictures! Happy three months Finley!

Jumping for Joy

We have arrived safely at the Acreage. As I type I am listening to the older two tooting and giggling from the spare room as they break in the new twin beds. With Mr. Stannix putting in some long hours over the last few weeks, our weekends being jammed packed, and me having big black circles under my eyes it was time for a visit to the country. We left the same time as Daddy this morning and went to get an oil change at Honda. Joseph found a nice little window and was entertained watching the mechanics working on vehicles. He kept pointing through the window and saying (in a very worried tone), "My caaaaaaar, dats myyyyy car". He was pretty worried about what was going on with his car, I wish I would have recorded his little voice. We survived the wait thanks to complimentary donuts and 25 cent vending machines. 

As I left the city early this morning I took a deep breath and felt all of my worries and stresses begin to melt away. I took the long way and enjoyed the lack of traffic and beautiful scenery. When we were about half way through our drive rain drops began to hit the windshield. The Spring air was so refreshing and Joseph was fascinated by the windshield wipers.  As we drove along the road up and down hills anticipation started to build. The last leg of the drive is my favorite as we come out of the valley and get our first glimpse of the big old Rocky Mountains. Normally I stop at the top of my favorite hill to snap a picture, but with three children sound asleep I didn't dare. Instead I drank it all in and admired the snow capped mountains as we followed the highway. Then Joseph spotted the pump jacks and asked what they were. Every one we spotted after he would exclaim, "Wook! Out you window Mommy! A pump dack!"

They were thrilled to see Gramma and Grampa and spent most of the afternoon playing outside and building lego. I enjoyed the breather and my Mom's yummy cooking. Joseph came in with sand stuck to his boogers and caked under his finger nails so he went for an early bath. While I sat nursing on the couch my freshly bathed boy snuck out the back door and began jumping for joy. "It's am-most wumma time mom! I wee geen gas! Ha-way! Wumma time!" He was quite excited about the green grass and Summer time. I couldn't help but smile. He is so darn cute sometimes!

A Green Party

We often get together with my cousins around this time of year for a St. Pattys party. It's a pretty big deal to some of the littles. Camilla asked Jenny if we were having a green party this year back in January so we figured we'd better uphold tradition for at least one more year. It's crazy how big all of these little second cousins are now! It's fun to see how they all play and interact.

We kicked off the party with some green food for lunch. There was some hesitation over eating the green mac and cheese until a few brave souls tried it and reassured everyone it tasted just like normal.

I couldn't resist a pic of the green gooey goodness.

Hyrum happily polished off two plate fulls.

 

Jenny put together some pretty great projects for the kids! We were all surprised at how little mess there was after our painting and cupcake decorating. A sure sign that the littles are getting older I guess...

Jacey even played hookie to spend the afternoon with us and we loved seeing her sweet smiles.

It was fun to see their creations after.

Cupcake decorating was pretty epic. Joe and Neely went to town on theirs and we got some nice messy pictures!

We snapped a million group shots to try and get a good one and then decided to just take what we could get. There are a few busy little people in the crowd and it was a miracle if they all sat still for more than a few seconds.

Just before we left we finished off with the coin toss.

A lot of fun was had by all. I love getting together with my cousins to talk about mothering and share ideas and struggles. I always leave so uplifted and edified. 

St. Patrick's Day

Our day started pretty early as always. I had both boys at my bedside in the middle of the night and saw Joseph more than once in the night. Here's a quick recap of our day...

 Waking up to this smiley guy sure makes it all worth it though!

 

 The kiddos hung out at a friends place for a few hours in the morning so that I could get some bloodwork done. Joe fell in love with these safety goggles and kept running around making mean faces and saying "ARR PIRATE!" Not sure why he thought they made him a pirate, but it was pretty stinkin cute and I was glad she took a picture for me!

Lunch was cream cheese, ham and lettuce wraps with cucumbers. It wasn't super popular with the kids, but that just meant more for me...

 To pass the time I let the kids play with some rainbow ice cubes. When thy started getting too melted they threw them out on the trampoline and jumped with them for like an hour. Best toy ever!

All of that bouncing tuckered Joe right out and he ended up having kind of a late nap on the couch in the basement while I did school with the older guys.

 

We spent the late afternoon outside. The kids have been itching to get on their bikes, so I let them do some laps out front.

 The air was fresh and crisp and the wind had some bite, so Finley spent most of the time hiding in my jacket.

I bribed Daddy home for dinner with his favorite meal! We enjoyed our enchiladas in green shells. It definitely wasn't Irish, but it was green!

 

We sure love when this guy is around!!!

Normal Day

“Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.”   ― Mary Jean Iron

Surviving

One too many times this month my darling husband has come home after a long day at work and asked, "How are you sweetie?" And I respond, "Surviving..." with a forced smile and slight sigh, sometimes choking back tears from an exhausting day of mothering.

sur·vive
 (sər-vīv′)

v. sur·vived, sur·viv·ing, sur·vives

v.intr.

1. To remain alive or in existence.

2. To carry on despite hardships or trauma;

I have been fighting with baby blues for a few months now. I've experienced many blah days and mornings filled with tears, much pondering, feelings of inadequacy, and frustration. Finding joy has become a daily struggle and a top priority on my to-do list. My house is totally in chaos with dirty dishes lining my counter tops and loads of unfolded laundry sitting in baskets in the hall upstairs. I struggle to find time to do school with Camilla because the children play so well together all day and the weather is getting nicer. There have been many times where I've gone to bed at night worrying that I didn't spend enough time with one child or another. Lots of the time I just feel frustrated at the fact that I can't pinpoint where this blah feeling is coming from. Most days my biggest accomplishment is making sure that bellies are full and hugs and kisses have been given more often than not. I am totally in survival mode.

I hate the feeling of just floating through life trying to make it through each day without crying, or getting upset over silly things, or feeling guilty about some mothering woe or another. I find myself cranky when my three year old still wants to be spoon fed his dinner some nights or when we have to play a really long game of I Spy to get someone to eat just a few bites. I let out long sighs when dishes fall off the table and break. And most of the time I have a love-hate relationship with bedtime.

I want so badly to be present each day, to see my children for the amazing little people they are and to give them my full and undivided attention. Sometimes when I am in a grump and they tug at my shirt, or tap on my arm, or hang off my leg begging me to watch them do something or other I don't quite connect with them. Sometimes it's a quick glance when someone says, "Mom! Watch this!" and sometimes I don't fully register the significance of the moment when I just want to get the dishes done or the counters wiped.

I have recently come to the realization that motherhood is so much better when time doesn't exist. We are so much happier when we are not on a schedule, or rushing out the door when there's really no need to rush. Life goes much more smoothly when I just step back, take a deep breath and forget about what time it is and what we should be doing. It's when we take long walks and Camilla goes, "This is the best day ever! Thank-you, thank-you Mommy for taking us on a great walk!" that I feel most fulfilled. Bedtime is much happier when I'm not being a drill sergeant about brushing teeth and getting jammies on just to make an imaginary time crunch. When I forget about time and what I want to do I usually listen to that little girl who wants me to read one more page of "Little House on the Prairie". When I'm not in a hurry I take the time to kiss the boys goodnight a million times just to hear them giggle. When I'm not rushed I cry tears of gratitude and joy as I curl up next to my children in their beds and gaze on their little faces wondering who they are going to become. 

Thank goodness I have a great support system and a loving Heavenly Father who hears my prayers and woes and sends awesome friends to steal the big kids away to the park for a few hours, or bring a meal by, or call to check in. I know that we will make it through this lull soon. As the snow melts away and the seasons are changing, I'm finding my spirits are lifting and changing too. 

Happy Pi Day

Today we celebrated Pi day, although this year it was even better because π=3.1415... This only happens once in a century! 

Happy Pi day from us to you!

(Don't mind Joe, he missed his nap today)

A Father's Role

"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families."

-The Family: A Proclamation to the World 


You can watch one of my favorite videos on Fathers HERE

I am super grateful for that Mr. Stannix of mine and all he does for us each day!

Quiet Time

This time change has been a doozy. My children sleep a full night and still wake up with black circles under their eyes. They are tired and grumpy. I am tired and grumpy. This afternoon I instituted quiet time and they ALL fell asleep. I even got in a little snooze before Finley needed to be fed again. Now I feel like I may be able to survive the rest of my week and the weekend without Daddy.  I sure do love their sleeping faces!

1:18pm 

 

1:19pm

 

1:22pm 

1:24pm

Piggybacks for Everyone

I've had a pretty sweet gift card to toys R us sitting in my wallet for a while now. I've been thinking about getting an Ergo because being a Mommy to four kids when you're out and about is hard and I'm envisioning many outdoor adventures this summer. Today I saw that the Ergo's were on sale and I bit the bullet and purchased it. I used it immediately after to grab some groceries and it was bliss. Finley slept in his carseat inside the cart, Hyrum rode in the seat, Camilla jumped on the end and my busiest child was happily strapped to my back running his sticky fingers through my hair. All afternoon the kids took turns riding in it while I did house work. I loved having them close to me so much throughout the day. I've never loved a carrier so much in my life! I can't wait to go exploring with it this Summer! 

A Cushy Bottom

 After a few years I caved and finally bought a few new cloth diapers. Some of the diapers I've been using are from Camilla and the elastics on the legs are starting to wear and leak. I am happy with how long they have lasted, but to really enjoy cloth diapering ya need a good diaper. A few weeks ago I went to visit Melody to grab a teething necklace for Joe and I fell in love with these smart bottoms cloth diapers. If you're in the market for some new cloth diapers you should check out her awesome store. Make sure you tell her I sent you!

 I had to get Finley to model them for me because I am in love with them and his little baby chub.

I can't believe how fast time is flying by with this sweet boy.

Lessons in Mud

 It was a warm Spring like afternoon when I let the kids out into the backyard to play. The snow had all but melted leaving ice and puddles everywhere. I was busy nursing Finley in the front room when I heard shrieking and uncontrollable giggling coming from the backyard. I quickly finished up and place my sleeping baby in his little rocking chair. I went out to find the older two children having a mud fight in the garden. I may have let out a little chuckle before my blood started to boil. It had been a rough morning and I had spent most of our Saturday trying to get the house back in order by vacuuming and folding endless loads of laundry. I was already feeling overwhelmed and the thought of washing one more thing infuriated me. I wasn't sure if I should laugh or cry at this point. Thankfully when I opened the door I heard our neighbor shoveling off his deck which gave me the few seconds I needed to collect myself and deal with the situation without raising my voice. My first instinct was to scold and be angry and make them come inside but that really wasn't fun for anybody. It made me feel like a horrible mother for not letting them have fun and it made them feel badly when they really weren't doing anything wrong. If you ask my mother I'm pretty sure I've had my fair share of playing in the mud.

After apologizing for being upset with them I decided to grab my camera and let them go at it. And ya know what? I may have even laughed and had a bit of fun myself. It wasn't long before my arms were splattered with specks of mud, but seeing the smiles on their faces made it worth it. I want my children to be able to experience childhood to it's fullest. I want them to be able to explore, make mistakes, get messy, and have fun. Sometimes it's super hard to live in the moment and suppress the anger that comes from thinking about the mess and how I'm going to clean it up or if their behavior is acceptable. But then I go back to this post on discipline and those three important questions echo in my mind. Am I asking them to stop out of annoyance? Is it hurting anyone? Will this negatively affect their future? When I remember these three questions I act more out of love than I do out of emotion and it really makes our home a happier place. It's going to take me a long time to become perfect at this though, it's hard.

After they had their fill of mud, I ran them a nice warm bath and let them play in it in their swim suits. In the end we were all a lot happier (and I didn't have to bath them before bed)! A fun and messy afternoon had by all!

Little Grins

 Finley got to wear a cute little onsie that he got from my cousin to church today. He was looking mighty handsome. I adore this little guy and his little grins! He is such a happy baby.