Always Near

My Dearest Camilla,

Tonight you came up to me and asked me why I hadn't played with you all day. It nearly broke my heart in two. There were so many things I wanted to reply, but I wasn't sure you would understand. This morning when you woke, you were welcomed by a warm hug and breakfast on the table. I sat near you while you ate and listened to you tell me all about your dreams that you had the night before. After breakfast I quickly tidied the dishes and helped you and your brothers get ready to go to the park. The morning air was the perfect temperature, not too hot, not too cool. Minutes after we arrived you asked if I could push you on the swings. I gave you a few big pushes and then you showed me how high you could pump all on your own! I pushed your brothers on the other swings glancing over and giving you a big smile and thumbs up every once and a while. It made me proud to see you so independent. When we got home I made you all lunch and sat with you at the table while you each took turns telling me stories from the park. We giggled at Joseph each time he would say "Dup Dup...Bye" when he would dip dip and bite his toast. While Joseph napped I watched you ride your scooter out front, cheering you on each time you went by the house. When you got too hot, we sat in the shade and drew on the sidewalk with chalk. We made your name out of block letters and you colored them in a pattern of yellow and pink. We drank water and shared a snack on the front step while we watched Hyrum finish up on his bike. When Joseph woke up I sat on the edge of the trampoline while the three of you jumped and giggled. And when we got too hot, we came to the basement to eat homemade cookies and to cool off again. As you and Hyrum engaged your imaginations in a new game, I threw in a few loads of laundry and cleaned up the toys you weren't playing with. I may not have been involved in your game of pretend, but I wasn't far away. I'm always near, watching, observing, and helping. In the late afternoon you hopped up on the island and helped me prepare dinner. We made pizza together. You spread the sauce, licked the spoon, snuck some pineapple and ate the leftover ham. While we created, we danced to our favorite song. You love working as long as we are working together. When bed time rolled around I helped you brush your teeth, read you a favorite story and layed beside you for a few extra minutes to chat. I love these moments with you. I hope that as you grow you will think back on these days and remember that your mamma was always near and loved you every minute of the way.

-Mom