A Breakthrough

I have always loved to write in my journal. It's a habit that formed while sitting at my mothers feet before I could write, dictating to her the happenings of my day as she rocked in her rocking chair and recorded them in a little note book. Whenever I read back on that book I always laugh because each page starts with, "Today was a good day..." or "Today was a bad day..." As I've grown, struggled with trials, worked my way through friendships and hardships, celebrated successes and accomplished my dreams I have always written my thoughts carefully in books which are now packed away in my closet. Since it's easier to type than to handwrite, bear with me while I relate some recent thoughts and feelings from this week.

My house is quiet, as it usually is mid afternoon while the boys nap and Camilla crafts and creates. Joseph took a long time to fall asleep today and babbled for a good hour in his crib (probably dirtying his diaper as he does each and every afternoon) before silence could be heard on the baby monitor. Camilla and I created some fun decorations and put hearts up for the upcoming month. It's always fun spending time with her and hearing her stories. My two biggest accomplishments so far include three sparkly clean bathrooms and bread dough rising on the counter. And even though my kitchen is currently a mess and I'm still not sure what we're having for dinner, I don't so much mind because my children are happy.

This week has been sort of really hard for me. I have been feeling pretty down and been super hard on myself. I can't remember the last time I really loved myself or was happy with something that I'd done. I'm having a hard time feeling like a good mother, and still placing blame on myself for the loss of our baby. The other night Camilla sweetly prayed, "Please help Mamma's baby to grow back". Grief is such a hard hard thing to overcome, and right now I feel like I'm drowning in it. Tears still well up in my eyes when I whisper in my children's ears how much I love them, but happy tears are good. And then I've had moments where I just plop myself down on the floor in front of the kitchen sink, while I hug Joe tightly and cry until I can't anymore. I've fallen into a trap of comparing myself to others and thinking, surely so and so never yells at their child! I think I've barricaded myself at home for too long and I'm starting to feel lonely. I've lucked into some great afternoon naps snuggled up in Camilla's bed with the two older kids, but it just shows that my motivation seems to be lost and I'm having a hard time finding it. Yesterday a sweet friend brought by a "box of love" filled with treats, pink lemonade, socks and other cozy things. It totally made my day and improved my mood. I was able to clean my kitchen and tidy up the house for my dear Mr. Stannix before he arrived home.

Luckily, life isn't all bad. We've had an awesome breakthrough in potty training Hyrum and I haven't changed a dirty diaper of his in three whole days. We still have accidents every day, but with the progress we've made I'm determined to stick with it whatever my mood. I love the way he dances after he's used the potty. He's always so so proud of himself. We have a deal right now that he gets a bowl of ice cream for a number two. One of my favorite things as of late is his, "Yes Mudder". The other day I let out a giggle after he said it. He smirked and a small laugh escaped while he explained, "I can't say Mudder, just Mommy..." I need to record it so I can smile at it down the road when he can pronounce my name.

Overall we are doing alright here in the Stannix home. We just have a few rough days here and there and some hard Mommy moments with patience being stretched between three energetic littles. I'm so grateful for good friends, a wonderful husband, and the Gospel. Without a knowledge of my Savior and the atonement, this trial might be unbearably difficult. I've had the opportunity to read through old conference talks and be uplifted by the words of prophets and apostles.

"My dear sisters, as you live your daily life with all its blessings and challenges, let me assure you that the Lord loves you. He knows you. He listens to your prayers, and He answers those prayers, wherever on this world you may be. He wants you to succeed in this life and in eternity."

~President Dieter F.Uchtdorf

One of my friends came for a visit the other day, and as I related how I was feeling she reminded me that the Lord loves me, and knows me. I always like visiting with her, because she always seems to know exactly what to say. She also reminded me of this little tid bit from a favorite talk of mine.

"I want to tell you something that I hope you will take in the right way: God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect. Let me add: God is also fully aware that the people you think are perfect are not. And yet we spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others—usually comparing our weaknesses to their strengths. This drives us to create expectations for ourselves that are impossible to meet. As a result, we never celebrate our good efforts because they seem to be less than what someone else does. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. It’s wonderful that you have strengths. And it is part of your mortal experience that you do have weaknesses... In the meantime, be thankful for all the small successes in your home, your family relationships, your education and livelihood, your Church participation and personal improvement. Like the forget-me-nots, these successes may seem tiny to you and they may go unnoticed by others, but God notices them and they are not small to Him."

~President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

And so we press forward. Taking on each day one at a time and trying not to have too high of expectations. If all I've accomplished in a day is making my children happy, that should count for something.... right? Their smiles and funny way with words keep me going each day. There is no other job I would rather be doing right now!

A Giraffe Fettish

 Camilla has been drawing giraffes lately. They are super cute! I need to scan some more of her awesome drawings to put in our books. I love hanging them on my fridge! It's so fun to watch her work grow and change with her. She is getting so so big! She's so heavy I can hardly lift her now! She talks nonstop and makes great conversation with anyone she meets. She is definitely a little social butterfly! 

Meet Boogley and Spot.

Sleepy Giggles

 It's been a productive morning already! I started some bread dough early this morning when Joe woke up and just pulled it out of the oven. Warm bread and butter makes the best morning snack. The littles and I rocked out in the kitchen to this song. It's got a really great beat and always gets everyone dancing. Joseph still takes a morning nap and as long as he keeps sleeping so well at night, I'm going to hold onto them! I love putting him to sleep.

We snuggle on the bed for a bit while he drinks a morning bottle.

Then I smooch him, nibble his cheeks and make him giggle.

Then we both laugh for a few minutes before I tuck him into the crib. It's probably my favorite part of the whole morning!

This Face

Mr. H stuck these on today and made me laugh so much!

It's only funny because they kind of suit him...

Still can't put my finger on who he looks like here.

Feeling Like a Winner

Today could've been a Monday.

I'm totally feeling blue.

I feel like the worst homemaker ever.

My biggest accomplishment was washing the kitchen floor.

The pots and pans are piling up on my counter.

The kiddos were busy and we were all over this afternoon.

I had zero luck dress shopping and the CA ball is next Saturday.

That's what happens when you switch from a maternity to regular sized unexpectedly.

I lost Mikes cell phone in the mall parking lot and someone jacked it.

I felt terrible!
Mike didn't even get mad, he's pretty swell.

My eyes are sore and my head hurts from crying.

And my children had "Timportance" (say it really fast, you'll get it) for dinner.

Epic fail of a day...

Around the Block

The weather today was so gorgeous we had to go out and enjoy it for ourselves! Just after lunch (and before naps mind you) we went for a walk to get the mail. Once we actually got to the mail box, the littles wanted to keep going, so we circled around the block splashing in puddles and slipping on ice. I didn't think that I could feel JOY again so soon after a loss, but watching the three of them make their way around the block filled my heart to the brim and put a smile on my face. We took our time, slowed life down for an hour, laughed and giggled, slid and fell in some puddles, and splashed to our hearts content. The sunshine was just what we all needed and the air was so refreshing! After we got home Hyrum and Camilla ran laps back and forth from the black box to the yellow fire-hydrant until they had finally tuckered themselves out.

  And while I have a few minutes I need to quickly write a bit about each of these kids before I forget! Camilla has been super helpful lately! She loves to switch my laundry from the washer to the dryer without being asked. I appreciate it, even if it means the clean clothes from the dryer end up somehow scattered all over the basement. She doesn't like the crust on her sandwiches and frequently leaves them on her plate after eating the rest of the softer bread. The other day she dressed her brother up as a girl for the first time. She slicked his hair down with water and put a nice dress on him. It reminded me of the things my sister and I used to do to my little brother. She hates when people cough because she has a fear that they will throw up or choke. She is super looking forward to Spring and Summer and told me the other day, "I don't really like the season of Winter..." She keeps listing off all of the fun things she is looking forward to doing in the Summer like swimming in her pool, playing soccer, and jumping on her trampoline. The other day she asked Hyrum, "How much do you love me?" He responded, "I love you three times ago!" Then she asked, "You won't ever leave me? Or flush me down the toilet?" The things they come up with make me laugh.  When she puts on her jammies she sometimes leaves her clothes on underneath to save time in the morning.  At days end we walk up two flights of stairs gathering all of the stuffed animals and bringing them back upstairs to fill her bed. She's very particular about these stuffed animals and spends at least five minutes before bed organizing them. Each has a specific spot and she leaves hardly any room for herself in that big double bed!

Hyrum is quite the character and talks almost as much as his sister now. He is always saying funny, random things like, "Don't bweak it! This cost's money!" or "I'm pwoud of me, and I'm pwoud of you too Camilla." We are still working on the potty training. It kind of goes week by week with good and bad days and then we take a break if things are really bad. He covers his ears at loud noises or wind. He likes to nap in our bed with Dumbledore's wand in hand and casts funny spells he remembers from the first few Harry Potter movies he has seen. He is constantly trying to sneak into bed with us at night and always always comes in for morning cuddles around 6:00am. He still gives me the best smooches, right on the lips, but I'm sure he'll grow out of it soon enough!

Joseph changes every day it seems! I can't believe how fast he is growing up. He has definitely been giving us a run for our money lately and has been dubbed the climber of the three. He sometimes crawls under the bench blocking the stairs and then uses a stair to get on the bench and stand up. Or when he is downstairs he will climb on a kids chair and onto the kids table and stand right in the middle. He is always trying to conquer new heights and bust out of his crib it seems. I may end up moving him to a bed sooner than the other two. He likes to babble and tries to make words. He's got "please" down, or at least I'm pretty sure that's what he's saying. He also loves to wave and say, "Byeeeee" in a sweet little voice. He also has specific yells when he's calling for either of his older siblings. He likes to shake his head while he talks and pretend he's deep in conversation. Joe's hands are constantly on the go as his mind works and schemes. He likes to play tricks and test his limits and will always grin ear to ear when caught doing something he shouldn't. He points and babbles at everything. Around Christmas time he started saying what sounds like, "Dad! Look!" while he would point at something or other in the room. His Dad his is very favorite person and he waits by the window every day for his homecoming. One of his newest things is to grab your hand or clothes and drag you around. The cutest was one Sunday when he kept grabbing Camilla's dress and taking her to the playroom. He's started using this dragging tactic to show us what he wants or where he wants to go. He's learning how to do stairs and loves when I let him try it on his own. He has learned how to give the best hugs to his older siblings and would be lost without them! They are his sole entertainment and when they aren't around he paces the house bored out of his tree. I always think how lucky he is to have older siblings to play with.

Scrub-a-dub-dub

Lately I've been trying to have separate baths for the littles, but tonight they insisted on piling in all together.

I love our big soaker tub downstairs because it gives them plenty of room and minimizes the water that gets splashed over the edge.

Whenever I bath them I fall in love with those shiny clean faces of theirs!

An Eternal Perspective

It was a snowy afternoon in mid January. The day I had been looking forward to since October had finally arrived and I couldn't wait to see our little baby on the ultrasound screen. The night before I was feeling anxious and hoping everything would be okay. At 20 weeks I should be feeling the baby move, and I hadn't been. I said a teary eyed prayer asking my Father in heaven for the comfort and strength I might need. The next day I dropped the children at a dear friends and rushed off to my appointment.

At my ultrasound my worst fear became a reality as the doctor came in to deliver sad news. I spent a few minutes in shock. News like this isn't something you might expect to get at a regular 20 week ultrasound. I stared wide-eyed at the doctor, nodding and struggling to breath as he told me we had lost the baby a few weeks earlier. When the tech handed me a tissue box a few tears slipped out. Instead of taking my time as I should have, I let myself have a quick cry and then rushed to be with my littles. As I crossed the parking lot my eyes welled with tears and I let them flow freely all the way back to my friends home where we shared an embrace and cried on the floor in her entryway. When I was finally feeling better we left to pickup Daddy from work.

The whole week I struggled with a whirl wind of emotions. I felt like it was all my fault. Maybe if I hadn't caught that flu twice in December. Maybe if I had taken better care of myself. I struggled with feelings of guilt and remorse. I felt like a failure. I thought that if I were a better mother, this might not have happened and this precious gift might not have been taken away from me. I pondered the difference between a trial and punishment for a long time. I had no desire to talk with too many people and spent my days holding those I loved close.

I hesitated writing this until I spoke with a nurse on the phone. "This is a part of your life story now,"  she said to me. And since this blog and the books we make it into are our life story, it needed to be included, happy or not. Life can be so so hard and seem so unfair at times, but we can always find something to be learned and our Heavenly Father never gives us more than we can handle through Faith.

That week I cherished my children more than I ever had before. Every snuggle, every chance I got to kiss them on the cheek, every belly laugh, every smile, and every moment I peeked in on them before going to bed to see their closed eyes and still bodies dreaming happy things. I cried as I gently rubbed Camilla's little back before bed one night, remembering how small she once was. I held on extra tight to Mr. H when he would give me hugs for no reason.

The week lasted what seemed like forever, with so many decisions to be made and so much time to wait. But as each day went on, it got a little easier, and I was able to smile more and feel at peace. We were blessed with great church leaders who stopped by and offered blessings of comfort and healing. I wept through each one, still coming to terms with what had happened. I have been blessed with great friends and family whose words of advice helped turn this from a negative experience, into something sacred and never to be forgotten. Delicious meals were brought by family and friends and sweet notes were sent our way. I waited by the phone each morning for the call that would let me know when I could come in to the hospital where they would induce labour.

That call finally came Thursday morning. I left the cookie jar full of homemade cookies for the children and embraced one of the best friends I have here as I left her to care for my children until my Mum arrived. We arrived on the labour and delivery unit where they began the induction early afternoon. I was given my first IV ever (after three attempts) and was put on oxytocin shortly after dinner. I felt so disappointed in my body which has naturally carried out three previous births so well and quick. I was so grateful for a supportive husband who comforted me while I endured the longest labour of my life. After it happened I buried my face in my hands and wept for a long time as my dear husband pulled me close and ran his fingers through my hair. For the rest of the night that hospital room felt like a sacred place and feelings of peace and comfort enveloped us. We waited a few hours to make sure everything went as it should and hoping I wouldn't need further surgery. Thankfully my body performed well and the doctor granted my wish to go home to sleep for the night with my husband at my side and my children close by.

My first day home was difficult. I couldn't walk without assistance for fear of blacking out or losing my footing. My body still felt drugged and slow. My limbs would go numb after minimal movement and my ears would ring. I was still in shock and coming to grips with what had happened. My kids were more in my scopes again. I could smile at the funny things they would say. At breakfast Camilla shared an idea to bring me breakfast in bed. I listened from my room as Hyrum responded, "but don't hide it behind your back, or it'll spiwll." I smiled. Joe was suddenly my baby again. He seemed so little and so big all at the same time. And their little voices rang in my ears louder than before as I remembered my role in their lives and took more time to hang onto every moment with them.

The next week I was blessed with extreme peace and patience and never once felt frustrated or angry by the little things like spilled milk or little arguements. My heart was filled with more sympathy and love than ever before and I was able to share that more with my children and family. I would still cry when afternoons got tough or the littles started to get crazy all at the same time. Tears would still fall when I tucked in Camilla at night or shared sweet moments with the children. Mike and I had grown closer together than ever before and there was an unspoken bond that felt forever strengthened. I suppose the loss of a child will do that to a relationship.

How grateful I am for a temple marriage and the knowledge that families are forever. I know that one day I will get to meet our sweet babe and I am already looking forward to it. And though my days are still filled with ups and downs and tears still wet my pillow at night, I know that we will be okay. This is now a part of our life story. A part that has changed and shaped us immensely, and a part we will never forget.

Family Time

Today started out slow. To save my sanity I took the kiddos grocery shopping before lunch for the free cookie and some time outside the house. They were actually pretty good and had a few funny conversations with some of the Gramma's we met at the store. As we made our way down the cereal aisle Camilla spotted a yellow sale tag, "Mom! Fruitloops are on sale!" Hyrum chimed in, "I LOVE loopies!" It made me laugh, how could I resist? After we got home we even had a bowl for lunch. I managed to get all of the littles to nap around 1:00PM and squeezed in a much needed rest for myself. Everyone woke up so happy. It's been so nice to feel the increase of love in our home this week and to watch the littles get along so well together.

Around dinner time I was feeling spontaneous. We picked Daddy up from work and went for some family time at Red Robins. It was nice to get dressed up a bit (and by that I mean my hair actually got done and I may have ditched my glasses for contacts). The kids were excited to get out of the house and eat out!

 I could have snapped pictures of Joseph the whole time we were there. He's such a ham!

 He loved sitting by his Daddy for the evening!

 I got to snuggle my munchkins on the booth side of the table. I started out sitting between them, but they love each other too much.

After dinner there was some snuggling on the spacious bench.

  And at the end of the meal they hardly even ate their ice cream because they wanted their helium balloon so badly. Poor Camilla had terrible luck with her balloon. We tied it tight to her wrist before exiting the building but when she was lifted into her seat the balloon popped off the end of her string and flew away. Daddy went in and grabbed her another one. Just as we exited the parking lot, the second balloon popped and our little lady burst into tears. Thankfully her brother let her hold his once we were home.

Getting Along

 The littles got along so well today (for the most part) which was a huge help for me!

Joseph spent some of the morning cuddling up to Camilla's puppy.

It's so hard to dress him sometimes, but I like seeing his chubby arms and thighs anyways.

 

Camilla and Hyrum were "best fwiends" all day.

I loved hearing them giggle and play pretend together.

They played with their playdough at the table for an hour and made a whole family of worms.

Love them.

 

After naps, the boys hung out together for a while.

They like to look out the window for cars and for their Daddy to come home.

It was a nice change.

Usually Hyrum is belly checking him, punching him, or hugging him a little too hard.

I liked watching them be friends.

I loved watching Hyrum take on his role as big brother and protector so well.

Afternoon Snuggles

This afternoon I got to snuggle this little boy at nap time.

My Little Muppet

Love. This. Face.

Back to Normal

I came downstairs after grocery shopping to find the biggest mess.

 I think it's safe to say that Hyrum is feeling better...

This picture pretty much describes my whole day today.

Camilla was a sweetheart and picked them up one by one to be washed.

After Mr. H and I had a talk, he offered to help too.

This is him tucked into our bed at approximately 8:12PM after a very long day.

The Winter Party

Tonight was the annual Winter Party for Mike's firm. This year it was held in one of the ballrooms at the Matrix Hotel downtown. We showed up right on time and mingled while everyone waited for dinner. We enjoyed our classic sprite while everyone else enjoyed drinks of the fancier kind. Between visiting we also snagged some appetizers as we walked around the room. 

Dinner was finally served at 8:00PM, beginning with bread and some fancy butter. The tables are always decked out and now that I've done this for a few years the forks and knives don't intimidate me so much. After we finished our warm buns and butter, we were brought out a small salad which was topped on thin slices of roasted pear. For the main course we enjoyed prime rib, mashed potatoes, gravy, and lightly steamed vegetables. Dessert was warm bread pudding with whip cream. They must have known Mr. Stannix isn't a fan of raisins because I think he only found one in his whole piece. The food was great and it was fun to get to know some more of the people that Mike works with every day. Sometimes when I go to these things I feel like I meet the same people once a year, but it's nice to actually start seeing familiar faces and to remember names.

 

Just before we left I snapped a picture of us in the lobby. Mr. Stannix was looking quite handsome in his suit and tie! We had a lot of fun together. Big thanks to Arland and Naomi for babysitting our littles!

Friday Night Pizza

Tonight the littles helped me put together some homemade pizza for dinner. They love to pull their chairs up to the island and help when they can. Pizza is fun because they lick their spoons after spreading the sauce and nibble on cheese and ham while we make it. It's awesome to have the extra help and it makes dinner time more fun. Hyrum liked to put his cheese in a pile, while Camilla was more experienced and sprinkled it. I hope this is a tradition that will carry on!

A Glimps of the Morning

 We lucked out this morning and got to have Daddy around for an extra hour or so. We all took it easy and got to have a nice breakfast together. Daddy could hardly eat and get himself ready with Joseph clinging to his leg and begging to be "up" in his sweet little baby voice. Daddy is his favorite pal!

Shortly after breakfast, Hyrum transformed into his super self and ran circles around the house exclaiming, "SUPER HYMUM! TO THE WESCUE!" 

 He talks so much lately and I always get a kick out of the things he says. The other day he was rubbing his eyes and looking under the weather. I asked him what was wrong and he said, "My head feels like crocodiles, Mommy...". And at the dinner table last night he kept feeling my belly and saying things like, "I think it's a sister" and "Maybe it's TWINS!" and "Does it squeak?" 

Love that little super hero of mine!

Pondering Motherhood

My day today began at 4:30 AM when I heard my two oldest downstairs whispering. I went down to investigate and sent them back to bed. Camilla slept until 8:00 but Hyrum never did go back to sleep in our bed. While I made breakfast, Hyrum ran circles around the kitchen and asked a million questions. "Ya wanna play Uno Mommy?" I stood there wishing I could steal some of his energy for myself. The children spent the morning burning energy in pretend play. After a quick lunch I took the boys up for their nap, and squeezed in a few winks myself. When Joe woke from his nap he was clicking his tongue like he does when he's hungry. I chatted on the phone with my Mum while he ate in his chair. When he was finished I pulled him out only to get a handful of poop and to hear the rest plop on the floor by my toes. To much information, I know, but this is the real deal. I did some damage control in the tub before finally running him a nice warm bath and changing my shirt. Then he gave me the sweetest grins ever and I could hardly resist smooching those shiny little cheeks of his over and over again.

Hyrum then woke before he was ready and proceeded to whine and cry for the next hour. After all that I still had a floor to clean and disinfect! I left Joe under the watchful eye of his big sister while I scrubbed and listened to Mr. H whine on the stairs. Camilla's belly giggles were much welcomed as Joe climbed all over her and played.

Sunday was another tough day. People who read this blog probably wonder why we even attempt church when it mostly ends in a gongshow. Even though there are Sundays where I end up crying in frustration, I know that being there is the right thing for our family, for our kids, and over all we end up leaving feeling more uplifted then when we arrived. This Sunday was no different. When we first pulled into the parking lot Camilla burst into tears because she left her beloved stuffed dog, Cody at home. She cried all the way in and pouted all through the first meeting. Hyrum bolted to the chapel like he does every Sunday. Joseph wasn't content to sit still at all and Mike and I each halved our time spent with him in the hallway where he would wiggle, squirm, scream and fight until we let him run free. My favorite part was when he finally gave in and napped. I sat in a quiet room for ten minuted by myself, pondering Sundays and motherhood and recent trials. When church was finished I found happy kids who were uplifted and enriched by their Sunday lessons. When I asked Camilla to please get her coat on she responded with a "yes, mother!" (thanks to her lesson on choosing the right). Everyone listened well while we braved the cold to the car and we left feeling better than when we came.

I've been thinking a lot lately on this wonderful, ever changing role of motherhood and how I can do a better job. It isn't by any means an easy task and I definitely have my share of bad days and tough moments with the littles. Motherhood is by far one of the hardest things I've ever done. I've found myself wishing I could be more patient, more slow to anger, and more observant. I sometimes wish I could be a gourmet chef and prepare more than PB&J for lunch. I wish I could find a way to make my children magically eat their vegetables and gobble up their dinners without a fight. How did my Mum make this look so easy? How can I be that mother I dream of being instead of the one that's barely treading water somedays? How can I feel more joy throughout my days? I know that the joy of motherhood comes in moments, but with three rambunctious littles, sometimes those moments are hard to spot in the chaos of everyday life.

It's amazing what a simple prayer can do. I find that I need a prayer in my heart all day long to help me be more patient and kind when there's messes made or problems to solve.

And sometimes it's the simple things like finding toy cars in my washing machine, wooden blocks in my dryer, alphabet magnets in my pots and pans and rubber ducks in my toilet that cause me to smile and that lend perspective to the joyous journey of raising children.

Yes, even during family home evening tonight when I was trying to read over the endless energy my children seemed to have while paper airplanes were whizzing passed my head, I couldn't help but smile. This is my life. It is chaotic, crazy, sometimes hard... But it is mine, and it is wonderful!

PB&J

The stage that Joseph is now at is both my favorite and least favorite. It's my favorite because he can pretty much feed himself and I can enjoy my meal times more, and my least favorite because it usually requires more than one bath a day. Take lunch for example.

A simple PB&J sandwich turned into a big, fun mess.

But he sure is happy when he gets to feed himself.

And then he gives me his little shoulder thing and crooked head just to remind me how sweet he is.



Morning Hugs

These boys willingly gave each other big hugs this morning.

Talk about a heart melter!

Canadian Winters

New Years Day brought beautiful Winter Chinook weather. With the clear blue sky and warm sunshine, we couldn't resist spending the late morning outside. Joseph was so happy to get some fresh air he hardly waited to get dressed before toddling out the back door after his older siblings. He enjoyed exploring and playing with the cold snow.

Great-Gramma and Great-Grampa Purdon got to look out the window and watch Joseph toddle around. Since we've all been sick we've kept our distance so they don't catch anything. Gramma stood out on the deck for a few minutes and talked with us. Tears welled up in her eyes at the sight of the Great-Grands.

Joseph and I eventually made it down the hill to join in on the fun. Grampa and Daddy were busy digging out a snow fort for the littles. They had so much fun with it and quickly transformed it into a pirate ship and began playing.

Joseph made a great supervisor!

The tunnels were perhaps the best part!

Then they decided to make a slide down the back...

Hyrum and Camilla took turns helping to form the slide with their tiny bum scooches.

Then Daddy rode the shovel down to help make it more slippery. Man, he's goodlookin'!

While I was busy following the littles around the fort, I was able to snap this cute picture of Joe and his Grampa.

Before we went in I asked my Dad to take Joe and I on one last spin behind the quad. Camilla hopped in the front of the sleigh just before we took off.

After our ride all of the snowflakes were stuck delicately to her sweet little eyelashes. It reminded her of the movie frozen. When I asked to take a picture she said, "Say 'Elsa'!" I love that girl! She helped Gramma make cookies yesterday. Today I caught her and Hyrum sneaking some from the tin. I explained that it wasn't nice to sneak things without asking and she replied, "But I MADE them...!" I couldn't help but smirk.

When naptime rolled around we loaded up the littles and said good-bye. It's always sad to leave and usually before we even get to town I shed a tear or two. I feel so blessed to be able to spend so much time with family. The littles slept most of the way home allowing Mr. Stannix and I to enjoy some quiet and conversation. We took a different route home which caused me to admire the beauty around me even more so. At one point a beautiful fog formed in a valley outlining the trees and sillouettes of horses in the fields.

Though Winter can be cold and harsh, it sure is beautiful. I loved the snow on the rolling hills, the warm sun in the distance, the skidoo trails, the snow covered bails of hay left in the fields, the old barns... All of it was so so pretty. I was just filled with so much gratitude. Oh how I love Canadian Winters.