My head finally hits the pillow shortly after 10:00PM. It took everything in me to put down my book and tuck into bed for the night. While I am reading time seems to stand still and I can get lost in the pages of my book and let the worries of the day wash over me. I lie there in the dark knowing that my toddler will be at my bedside just as my eyes close begging for a hug and a snuggle to sooth his fever and sore throat. I haven't enjoyed a real nights sleep in five or six days (long enough that I've lost count) and I feel a little bitter about it. But when Joseph snuggles in next to me and I feel his warm breath on my cheek or his arm around my neck, or when Finleys chubby hands knead at my side during a late night nursing session, I remember why I keep on going. The tender feelings that accompany a hug or the touch of a baby's hand help get me through until morning.
At 5:00AM I am woken by the bathroom light and sneak out of bed to help a little boy change. I realize that I forgot to take him pee before bed and I am impressed that he made it this long. He has no more jammie bottoms in his drawer and becomes frustrated. Joseph wakes up and immediately begins coughing and fussing. I had just gotten the baby to sleep not an hour before and desperately want to keep him that way. I pick up Joe and we head down to the couch where he continues to scream and beg for a hug repeatedly for an hour while my arms are clearly wrapped around him in a hug. By now I am frustrated and wishing he would just stop before he wakes the whole house! We manage another hour of sleep on the couch and I wake up to the sound of Daddy's shoes on the floor as he tip-toes out the door to work.
And then when Joseph wakes I pour him a bowl of cheerios STAT to suppress a morning fit. He sits at the table and throws yet another "give-me-a-hug" screaming fit because he would like his yogurt first. I breath in deeply and try my hardest to maintain control. I explain that he can have his yogurt once he finishes his cheerios. While I spoon pears into the baby's mouth I hum or sing a familiar song and wait out the tantrum. It doesn't take long and soon it's like someone flicked a switch and Joseph is suddenly agreeable again. He sits back at the table holds up his chubby hand with his palm facing out and says decidedly, "No, I eat my keerios and den have a gogurt". I am happy he has finally decided to see things as I do. No yogurt until his cheerios are finished, even though they are probably soggy by now. I laugh out loud at the way Joseph makes the whole thing sound like his idea with that cute, stuffy-nosed voice of his. Two year olds truly are magnificent creatures. I continue to feed the baby spoonfuls of pureed pears while I listen to Hyrum hum away in his room as he makes his bed and gets dressed.
Once we finish breakfast I glance around the kitchen at the dirty dishes from the night before. I decide to start my cleaning upstairs and work my way down. As I make my bed Finley fills his diaper until it's overflowing for the second day in a row. This time I managed to save the jammies. I run a shallow warm bath and Camilla volunteers to watch him while I get dressed. She rubs some soap in the palms of her hands until it gets nice and bubbly and then massages it onto his back. "This is just like what you do isn't it, Mom?" She beams up at me from the side of the tub as she rinses the bubbles away. While I pull him out and wrap him in a big white towel Camilla runs off and picks out his outfit and a new diaper without even being asked. Meanwhile the boys race from room to room making car noises and nearly colliding at every turn. Once everyone is dressed and ready for the day we have family prayer where I thank Heavenly Father for all of our many blessings and plead for increased patience and love as I take on the day. I text Mr. Stannix and notify him that today might be a three chocolate bar day thanks to the tantrums and serious lack of sleep.
On our way to the basement I glance at the kitchen once more and take a deep breath. The dishes will wait and won't bother me as much if we are in the basement playing. After a little while Finley lies his head on the carpet with a spatula in hand and begins to fall asleep. I scoop him up and place him in his crib without a single complaint. He lets out a sigh and closes his eyes for his morning nap. I chuckle and wonder why I hadn't thought to give him a spatula earlier on in the game. Apparently teddy bears aren't his thing.
And so goes our day. Dishes, laundry and bathrooms are among a few of the things on my to-do list and if I don't get to them there is always tomorrow! Somebody will help me make a treat for Family home evening tonight and the dishes will be stacked even higher. The requests to go to the park and bake cookies will soon begin and I am sure our day will be full to the brim with adventure. Camilla will be off to school before long, so we are enjoying these last few
weeks with her at home.
Our bed time routine is gently shifting as
Finley learns to fall asleep on his own and the children's needs change.
It's funny how things just fall into place. As we ready for bed and I hug them tight all of the troubles from the day will be forgotten and we will start with a fresh slate in the morning. No matter how difficult or trying the day might have been it is so little compared to the grand scheme of things. I try to forget about the full bag of flour spilled on my kitchen floor, or the squares of margarine that were turned into tiny snowballs and stuck to the refrigerator door. We can always forgive and move forward and try again tomorrow. I am slowly learning and applying this. Once the children are tucked snug in their beds for the night I will crack open my book and enjoy a favorite chocolate bar or two instead of folding the mountain of laundry on my bed (that can wait for tomorrow too).
"Children are a source of joy! Not always pleasantness, and rarely easiness, but real, up-and-down, roller-coaster joy."
-Richard and Linda Eyre
