A Birth Story

This morning I drove to the city to visit Mike. He's been in the hospital for a week today and has been feeling pretty lonely and missing the kids. I've tried to make it there as much as I can between juggling my responsibilities here, not wanting to chance travel on Winter roads, and being over due with our ninth babe. I'm glad baby has stayed put while we go through this whole ordeal, but a part of me is ready to meet this little one right away.  Every day I wake up hoping Mike will be able to come home, but instead we are met with more tests and a longer recovery. His back spasms are the worst right now from so many days in a hospital bed and his surgery. Every time he has to get out of bed, he has to be supported and pulled up with both hands to help ease the pain. 

My parents kindly offered to watch the littles for the day so that I could go visit him. I made sure to pack the baby car seat and my hospital bag just in case. I took the truck because the roads sucked and I didn't want to end up in the ditch somewhere at 41 weeks pregnant. As I drove I said a prayer that if I DID happen to go into labor today, it would be quick and easy because I was already exhausted and I was not sure if I'd be able to do it. I got to Mike's room shortly before lunch and we just sat and chatted, though he was pretty out of it due to his pain meds. Not long after I got there a friend showed up for a quick visit and she left us delicious puffed wheat squares to enjoy. 

I broke into mine right away, but Mr. Stannix had to wait for a bit because he was fasting for a procedure. Around noon, I started getting some light contractions and they were five to seven minutes apart. I quietly laboured while I reset Mike's IV every time it beeped, covered his legs with blankets, helped him to the bathroom, and crochet a baby blanket. A few hours later they were consistently getting closer, two to five minutes apart, but not overly painful. Again, I said a silent prayer that if I did have to have the baby today, it would be quick and easy. We decided to call my midwife to give her a heads up and time to travel to Red Deer. She told us she would meet me at Labour and Delivery in an hour to do an assessment. Because there is no cell service in the room Mike was in, we wandered to the atrium and sat and waited for my midwife to call and let us know she had arrived. When she called to let us know she had arrived, Mike slowly made his way back to his room and I walked down the hall to meet up with Willa.

We got to the admitting desk at the same time and she walked me to a triage room for a quick assessment to see if I could be admitted.  As we walked into the room tears started welling in my eyes. I looked at her and with a shaky voice I said, "I just don't know if I can do this today. I'm so tired, and so hungry." I felt so physically and emotionally exhausted from the last few weeks of Cooper not sleeping, contractions through the night,  and all of the late nights at the hospital. I had neglected to eat anything all afternoon because I was so busy caring for Mike. She reassured me that I was strong and able and everything would be fine. I was already surprisingly 6cm dilated, so we quickly made our way to a delivery room to settle in. 

Labour really started to pick up after we made it into the room and I texted Mike to give him the room number and enough time to wander down the hall from his unit. He came in a few minutes later, IV and drain bag in tow, and sat in the big chair by the bed as I stepped into the shower to manage the contractions in my lower back. I closed my eyes and let the hot water work it's magic as I swayed back and forth and breathed through each contraction. "You're starting to sound a little pushy, Addie," Willa said, "Probably only a few more minutes in there okay?" Another contraction hit and my water broke, it was filled with meconium. A few seconds later, Willa turned off the shower, wrapped me in a warm blanket and gently hurried me to the bed with her hand at my back. She knew I probably would have had the baby in the shower otherwise. Just as I crawled onto the bed, I could feel babe crowning, but it wasn't nearly as painful as usual. "I'm pretty sure the head is like, right there," I said. One or two quick pushes and babe was delivered. I caught and held the baby briefly with Mike cheering me on from the comfy chair beside the bed. My midwife held her while I quickly repositioned myself in the bed. "Can anyone tell me if it's a boy or a girl?" I asked with a gentle laugh. She was born at 5:52PM, just a short 45 minutes after I had come to be assessed. I got to cut the cord as Mike was in too much pain to stand much at this point. It all happened so fast, but it was one of the most empowering birth experiences I've ever had. When I had finished, I hardly felt like I had just had a baby at all.

My dream of getting a quick post birth snapshot was quickly foiled as there was so much meconium at birth that she had probably inhaled and her color and oxygen levels were not looking good. After I cut the cord, she was whisked over for an oxygen mask and an assessment. She weighed 7lbs 1oz. It was determined that the little mask and the suction weren't working as well as they'd like and she would need to go to the NICU for some extra help. They whisked her away before I was able to feed her, while I was still lying in the bed covered in warm blankets. All of the exhaustion and emotions caught up with me and I cried as I watched her leave. It was a tender mercy that I ended up delivering in Red Deer as our hospital doesn't have a NICU, but I couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment as my vision for how everything would go was shattered once again. One of my easiest birth experiences and I hardly had time to enjoy it. Through this whole experience the Lord has been teaching me to trust him and to trust his plan for my life. My midwife rubbed my back and hugged me while Mike reassured me that he would follow and keep an eye on her until I was ready to go see her.

We've never had a babe go to the NICU before, so this experience was all new to us. After I had showered and cleaned up, Willa made sure I ate my dinner. They had Mike's dinner brought to my room as well so that we could eat together. When we had finished, I was wheeled down (I seriously could have walked, I felt great) to see baby girl. We watched her oxygen levels dip and return on the monitor and got to stick our hands in the incubator. Tears welled in my eyes once more as I wished I could just hold her and breast feed her and snuggle her all up. She had a little feeding tube placed as well, and I was told I could pump for her feeds, but it would take some effort/time. After our midwife snapped a few pictures for us, we both made sure that Mike made it back to his room in time for his IV antibiotics. 

I stayed back for a bit to admire her and watched her keep knocking the CPAP out of her nose to suck on. They laughed at her feisty personality and gave her a soother to keep her happy for a bit. I couldn't help but tear up again as I thought about how much I wanted to hold her and how things just weren't going according to plan. I walked over to unit 23 to help Mike out of bed so he could go to the bathroom. I gave him the keys for the truck so his brother could come move it to his place so we wouldn't get a ticket. Mike was super drowsy due to his pain meds and antibiotics. I was glad babe came quickly enough that Mike was able to make it and get back to his room for his meds. After saying goodnight, I wandered back to the NICU to sit in the chair in our little cubby area. Just before 11pm, one of the nurses came over and asked if I'd like to hold her. "Yes please!" I whispered excitedly and tears of joy welled in my eyes. 

All of the cords were such a pain, but we snuggled up as best we could in the dimly lit nursery. I sat there for over two hours, watching the monitor and soaking her in, until I was so tired I couldn't keep my eyelids open any longer. She is so beautiful and I am so grateful she came to our family. We can't wait to tell the kids they have another sister and share her name with them, but we want to tell them in person so that we can see their reactions. 

As I fell asleep in my lonely little hospital room while babe slept in the NICU and Mike slept in his hospital room, I couldn't help but think about all of the tender mercies and miracles surrounding her birth. Firstly that we delivered in Red Deer where there was a NICU to help her out. Second, that Mike was able to be present for the birth. If I had delivered anywhere else, he would have still been stuck in the hospital hooked up to an IV with a rigid medication schedule. Third, that my prayers for a short delivery were answered. I don't think I could have done a long, full day/night labor. Fourth, that I was blessed with a quick and easy recovery and was able to venture around the hospital to take care of Mike and lift him out of bed and to see Babe when I wanted to. And lastly, not having to worry about who will take care of the rest of our crew as we are fortunate to have my parents right next door to hold down the fort until we are able to go home.

I was reminded of the scripture in Romans 8:28 that says "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God." Truly, all things worked together for our good, even if they weren't according to "plan" and I am so grateful for all of the tender mercies and for the people He has placed in our life when we needed them. 

The Grinch

I woke early again after another terrible sleep filled with contractions on and off and Cooper in and out of my bed. I felt exhausted and grumpy. When I carried the morning poopy diaper out to the dumpster, I was grateful for the sunrise and sparkly trees that brought some cheer. 

We zoomed into Stake Conference and I ended up feeling super frustrated as the children were all out of sorts and no one was really paying attention. Overwhelmed and grumpy is a good way to describe how I feel today. The house is a mess every where despite my best efforts over the past two weeks. There's a giant syrup spill all over the counter that the butter dish was then dragged through at breakfast. The floors are sticky, the fridge needs cleaning, the play room is a disaster, & there's snow gear everywhere. Add a few minor contractions on top of that and I'm left wanting, but not wanting baby to come today. I really don't want to drive all the way to Red Deer to deliver.

I'm bummed that our Christmas tree isn't set up yet and won't be until Mike makes it home from the hospital. Partly because it's too dang heavy to do it without him and also because its tradition to deck the halls all together. I have slowly been pulling out a few Christmasy things here and there to help our home feel a little bit more decorated. Hopefully we will all be in the Christmas spirit a little bit more in the very near future!

 

Overdue

This morning we woke to more snow. The world sparkled as the sun came up. Everyone slept in a bit which was nice because Cooper ended up sleeping with me in the middle of the night and he’s a pretty restless sleeper. 

Mike called me in the morning with his CT results from last night (huge thanks to the doc who squeezed him in early). The good news is, the abscesses (fluid/infection pockets) are shrinking. The bad news is, he will not be able to come home for a few days yet. I found myself choking back tears of disappointment again this morning because I was really hoping to be able to have a baby tonight. While my situation here at home is much more comfortable than Mike’s in the hospital, I still feel sad to be sleeping alone and shouldering the household without my side kick. It’s been a long week!

My mom was able to watch the littles while Camilla and I drove to Red Deer to visit Mike. He was still hanging out in his curtained day surgery room. We brought him a booster juice and some treats. He also got a visit from a couple good friends while we were there. He’s looking better and I’m glad he’s on the mend. Shortly after they left we got news that he was getting a room for the next couple nights. He was so excited to shower and clean up. Once he was settled back into bed, another friend dropped in with some flying magazines and a Dr. Pepper. A little later while we were out enjoying one of the gathering areas, two other fine brethren and friends found us and sat to visit for a while. He was glad to see so many friendly faces today. It’s been a hard week. We are beyond blessed to be so cared for! 

Sleep Tight

When I did the nighttime checks before tucking into bed, I happened upon this sweet little moment. 

It reminded me of Joe and Hyrum. 

Moving Cooper downstairs again was inspired.

He loves his brother so much and needs the extra comfort and company at night. 

 

Morning Fires

Today we enjoyed an early morning beside the fire. With everything going on, I'm trying to savor the slow, quiet moments and soak in the children as much as I can. Mike called early in the morning to let me know he could potentially come home if I was able to drive him to and from his antibiotic appointments every twelve hours. Eventually the idea got nixed as his family doc said it would be best for him to stay put and in the "system" so he would get the best care possible. They've decided to keep him for the entire week and he's going crazy in the day surgery unit with just a bed and curtained room. 

His CT isn't scheduled until Saturday. They want to check his drain and make sure it's doing it's job and the infection pockets are shrinking with that and the antibiotics. I was really hoping he'd be home by Friday night so that I could just have a baby this weekend. I'm trying really hard to trust Gods timing and plan, but it all feels so frustrating sometimes. 

Will I make it to the city to deliver if that's where Mike is? How long will I have to stay? Will babe do OK on the hour drive home on Winter roads? So many things to think about. I was overwhelmed with tears as I sat on my bed processing it all. In the mean time I'm focusing on the things I can control and  trying to get the house tidy and organized (which will never happen because we have eight children ha!).

A Sunny Day

This morning we were blessed with warm sunshine pouring through the windows. After getting everyone off to Seminary and School I put my feet up for a few minutes. Cooper played in the kitchen with his ear muffs and trains. The trains have been one of his favorite toys for the last few days. He likes to stick and un-stick them with the magnets. 

When Dad got home from bussing, he drove me to Red Deer to visit Mike. I had some things to drop off to him to make his stay more pleasant and I couldn't wait to see him. He is still in a lot of pain and discomfort. He is in a little holding room surrounded by a curtain for a wall and hears everything all day and all night. It's not the most restful. He gets antibiotics every twelve hours and has his blood taken every morning to check counts. He was still pretty tired, so it ended up being a bit of a shorter visit than planned because he just wanted to rest. I was grateful for nice roads and sunshine to travel back and forth. 

Expectations

Today is baby's due date. We woke to rain and now snow is softly falling outside. Everything is still and quiet. My weary mind and body are resting in the peace as I tidy here and there, fold laundry, and put the house in order before babe arrives. It has been a busy few days and life seems to want to go in a different direction than I'd hoped it would at this point. 

Last week Mike came down with what we thought was a stomach bug. Wednesday night found us in the ER while he wrestled with stomach pain intense enough to require the "good kind" of pain meds. I got home around 1:30am and crawled into bed. The next morning he took an ambulance to the city to get a CT scan and by the evening he was being wheeled in for surgery to remove a burst appendix. I met him at the hospital just before he went in for surgery, and stayed until he was out of recovery and settled somewhat in his hospital room.

He was allowed to come home the next evening, and spent all weekend working to recover. He wasn't up to celebrating his birthday on Sunday and his cake is still in the fridge. Sunday night found us back in the ER because things kept getting worse instead of better. I stayed with him until 3:30am to hear the results of the blood test and the plan going forward, and then he sent me home to get some rest before I had to get the kids off to school. This week he is back in the city hospital being pumped with antibiotics to fight off infection and the extra fluid build up, while I hold down the fort here. With bad Winter roads and how far along I am, he thought it would be best for me to stay close to home.

So many people have reached out and offered help. We've had meals brought by friends and I've been left with tears of gratitude for our family and friend community that we have been blessed with. Having my parents right next door has been a huge blessing. Having such an easy pregnancy physically has also been a huge blessing. Usually I'm uncomfortably huge right now and sore, but this time I am still able to carry my every day duties with ease. Even though things are not going the way we want them to right now, I'm trying to trust that His plan is greater than ours and adjust my expectations along the way. So far babe is staying put and for once, I'm okay with going overdue, just so things will hopefully be a little more normal when he/she arrives. 

"Mercies and blessings come in different forms -- Sometimes as hard things. Yet the Lord said, "Though shalt thank the Lord they God in all things." All things means just that: good things, difficult things - not just some things. He has commanded us to be grateful because He knows being grateful will make us happy. This another evidence of His love." ~Bonnie D. Parkin

At Capacity

Today I did not want to get out of bed. After staying at the hospital until 3:30am last night with Mike, I managed a few hours of sleep and woke bright and early to get the kids off to seminary and school. I was so grateful my mamma took Cooper for the night so I could get a few solid hours in. She also made the kids pancakes for breakfast so that I wouldn't have to worry about it. 

I started a batch of bread shortly after everyone got out the door and noticed a few small contractions. I then got an update from Mike that they would be transporting him to Red Deer for another CT scan to see what is causing all of the pain in his abdomen. I spent the rest of the morning keeping myself busy and hoping babe stays put for the day.

Cooper had a nice, long nap on the couch and I relished in the quiet. Mike called mid afternoon to let me know that his CT scan showed some fluid build up and three pockets of infection inside. He is in a lot of pain, so they have him on some pain management as well as some heavy duty IV antibiotics. They're keeping him in the day surgery area for a few days to monitor him while they decide what's next.

Camilla came home during her spare to eat lunch and study and ended up spending quite a while playing horsey with Cooper. His belly laugh is the best! He's so lucky to have such a great big sister. 

In the late afternoon we headed to town for piano lessons. We also met a sweet sister in our ward at the church who had reached out to let us know she prepared dinner for us. She didn't ask, she just did, and it was such a huge blessing as I've been overwhelmed with being pregnant and caring for Mike. She made two kinds of soups and the most delicious pizza buns. The children were very happy to fill their bellies after we got home from lessons. We are so blessed to have such an amazing community!

 

Christmas Party

This morning the children were out in the yard bright and early enjoying the snow and sun! 

Lily totally rocked it on this snowboard and made it to the bottom of the hill several times. Her balance is incredible for her age!

I took ALL of the Stannix kiddos in to the basketball game this afternoon so that Mr. Stannix could rest in a quiet house. It was chaotic and crazy and I spent a good chunk of time following Cooper around the halls, but I was so glad to have witnessed such an incredible game!

The girls were down by at least 10 points for the entire game and made an amazing come back in the last few minutes of the 4th quarter with a couple of quick plays and some awesome 3 pointers!

I was literally standing by the bleachers jumping up and down while I cheered at 40 weeks pregnant. It was so fun to watch!

Tonight was our Ward Christmas party, but I had to stay home and take care of my dear hubby, so I sent these hooligans with Gramma and Grampa for the evening.

The house was quiet all night, but I knew I had to be home just in case Mike needed something.

 

I was grateful for the pictures of the Santa visit and other happenings that my family was able to snap for me while I was home. Perhaps next year, I will be able to make it!

 

Home Tournament

Today we got to head to the school and catch an afternoon basketball game at their home tourny. I had so much fun watching our #4 on the court with miss Lily. I slipped out part way through to head over to the Elementary school and catch Sawyer receiving his student of the month award. Then I came back to the high school and finished the rest of the 3rd and 4th quarters. 

Camilla is playing point this year and it's been fun to watch her jump into the new role on the court!

We got some snow over night which looks beautiful! The children enjoyed a lot of time outside today. The bigger kids even taught Cooper how to ride down the hill by himself. 

Just as I was ready to tuck into bed, this little boy woke up for a snuggle. This is why I never bother going to bed early. His sleeping schedule is rough man...