Sawyer: Two Months

Our sweet little Sawyer is two months old today! I wish I could freeze time and enjoy him for longer at this stage. He is such a dreamy baby! He loves snuggles, grinning at his Mom and Dad and taking in the noise of five older siblings. He spends the majority of his time right now sleeping and I suspect he is going through a growth spurt! While he goes for an extra long morning nap, I am able to keep up with everything that needs doing around the house.

He sleeps the best right in the middle of the living room amidst screaming and playing and a tantrum throwing two-year-old. I will often catch him grinning in his sleep and wonder what he's dreaming about. I love it when he wakes up and stretches his tiny body as I lift him from his bassinet. He arches his back and sticks out his little bum and it is the cutest thing ever. His little hands love to hold on to things and will often grasp my shirt while he nurses.

When he's awake he hardly sits still. His legs are always pumping and moving and his arms are flailing everywhere. He gets so excited when his older siblings come and talk to him! His hair is growing back in and his features are more defined. At first I wasn't sure who he resembled, but now he is definitely looking like a Stannix!

Dance with Me

These January days are slow and steady. With the fresh snow and frost these past few days I've especially enjoyed staying cozy and warm inside the house. We've been listening to music, dancing in the kitchen and doing lots of baking!

Oliver wandered into the kitchen this afternoon just as I was pulling some sour dough biscuits off the pan. One of his favorite songs started playing and he wrapped his arms around my leg and begged, "Mom, peas dance wif me?" It was the cutest thing! And so, we danced, for quite a while together while the biscuits cooled and made our tummies rumble. 

Naptime filled our home with a few needed moments of peace and pondering. Oliver snuggled in bed with the covers pulled up to his ears while Sawyer lay beside me with a tummy full of milk.

The biscuits that were supposed to be for dinner along with our homemade chicken soup didn't quite make it that long!

While Sawyer napped I snuck out of the house to snap a few pictures of the little boys who enjoyed an hour outside playing in the snow and drinking in the crisp Winter air. 

I caught a breathtaking view of the sun setting just before we sat down to our warm bowls of soup and it filled my soul with joy and contentment. We are so blessed to live here!

Fresh Snowfall

Today we woke to the most beautiful Winter scene! The early morning brought me outside to search for an extension cord to plug in the truck that wouldn't start. As I looked around the acreage I was captivated by the beauty of the trees cloaked in white. Winter can be so lovely sometimes!

Homemaking

 Today we woke to a crisp, foggy, January day. I bundled up the big kids and sent them off to catch the bus. They hurried down the lane way as the frost nipped their soft cheeks and quickly climbed onto the warm bus. I threw on a sweater and went to work around the house, taking lots of breaks to snuggle and nurse Sawyer. It's so hard to get things done and somedays I feel like all I do is nurse the baby...

I've recently decided to try my hand at sourdough! I adopted a starter from a friend and laughed this afternoon when I realized it's like having another kid that I have to remember to feed every day. But it's so neat watching it bubble as it digests the flour and water mixture. I'm super excited about this wild yeast and can't wait to make it into something.

I spent most of my afternoon snuggled beneath a blanket on the couch. I've been trying to finish this blanket for years now! I pick it up and add a few rows here and there whenever I have time to spare. While my busy toddler napped and the aroma of fresh bread filled my house, I added a few more rows to this giant crochet blanket.

The view from my kitchen window made me feel grateful for where we live. I am also grateful that when Winter becomes dull and boring, we get a few days of beauty to help sustain us. I love cozy blankets, snuggly babies and gorgeous Winter views.

Nap time

Nap time is my favorite time.

Happy Sunday

This morning everyone was rather pleasant and agreeable. As we pulled out of the driveway to church we made sure to thank the littles for being so good and helpful. Mr. Stannix was feeling so relaxed that he ended up being one of those drivers he had complained about yesterday, driving under the speed limit. We both had a good laugh. As soon as we got to church the little boys decided it would be fun to run down the open halls and around all of the benches before sacrament meeting started. The rest of the meeting was spent hauling children in and out and feeling rather frustrated. Even the big kids weren't super cooperative and there was an extra amount of giggling. My favorite part of the meeting was the last ten minutes when Hyrum asked to hold his sleepy baby brother and things finally calmed down a little. Some Sunday's are rough, but it's always worth it!

Family Swim

 Today we enjoyed some time together as a family. After everyone had finished their morning chores we went to Daddy's new office to clean and organize some things. The kids watched Netflix in the board room while I taught Camilla how to clean the bathroom (it's her new job). 

 Between all of us we pretty much devoured two large pizzas (growing boys) and then went to the pool for family swim! It's been a long time since we've gone swimming at a pool and the kids were pretty stoked. It was also Sawyers first time swimming and he quite enjoyed himself. It's insane trying to keep eyes on six kids in the pool, but it's nice to have a few older kids who are independent and able to kind of go where they'd like without a parent.

Daddy treated us all to ice cream cones afterwards. Ollie was pretty happy about that! Since we had skipped nap time, half of the littles fell asleep on the drive home.

Life Lately

 I read somewhere recently that the slower we live, the deeper we feel the world around us and it's been so true lately! Sometimes life feels so rushed and crazy making it hard to slow down and savor the little things, the funny phrases the children say, the bedtime snuggles, the chaotic mealtimes. These days with a new baby sometimes blend together and it's hard for me to remember what we did even yesterday. I've felt such a push to keep blogging lately and often in the stillness of the evening or while nursing the baby to sleep I get tiny nudges and reminders here and there, words that come to mind and need to be recorded. Because there's so much about this stage of motherhood that I adore (and some things that I don't) and I want to somehow capture those moments and make them last even though the present can be so fleeting.

On these bleak, Midwinter mornings we wake and leave our warm beds as the chill in the house nips our bare toes. When I walk past the thermostat I often turn it up a few degrees and the house creaks and moans as it warms. The children will huddle on the heat vent and read their books for school as their little bodies thaw. The baby wakes and promptly gulps his milk. When I change him I put the night diaper in a plastic bag hanging on the back of the door handle. After six kids, this is my version of a diaper genie as I don't have time to waste opening a lid or changing out special bags. Breakfast is loud and crazy and there is always someone who is unhappy with the menu, but pancakes are almost always a hit with everyone. The children catch the bus at first light while the sun paints the sky in every hue of pink imaginable. I am cherishing these slow Winter mornings where the baby sleeps in the bassinet nearby and the boys play at my feet.

I prep lunch while peeling my sticky socks off the floor and rubbing crumbs from the bottom of my feet. It's a constant reminder of how impossible it is to keep up with things around here. I am super grateful for my mum who sneakily loads my dishwasher and sweeps my floor when she thinks I'm not looking. It helps. I'm pretty sure what ends up in that dustpan could feed a small army. 

Throughout the day my heart swells with love as I pause to watch each child. A smile forms on my face as I observe Oliver in his superman costume, standing on his tippy toes trying to hang the hand towel back on the stove handle. I often feel gratitude for Finley who has taken on his role as big brother so well and speaks to Sawyer so sweetly throughout the afternoon.

I am super grateful for my Dad who always invites us for second breakfast or brings me a plate of whatever he's having because he knows me so well. Most days if I put something in the microwave for lunch I reheat it two times because I forget it's in there and then end up rediscovering it the next day when I go to heat up something for dinner. Taking care of so many littles sometimes means that I forget to nourish myself as I move swiftly from task to task and make sure small bellies are full. 

By the time mid-afternoon comes the house is still. Oliver and Sawyer are often napping or have just woken up and Finley has enjoyed some one on one with me or a loving grandparent. Most afternoons Sawyer naps in my arms, on my chest, or in the sling. When the house is still we let the sun warm our faces as it pours through a West facing window. Snuggling him close fills me with absolute joy and makes my heart feel as though it will leap from my chest at any moment. Babies remind us how wonderful it is to feel deeply and often bring emotions to the surface that have been forgotten about. 

The early evening finds the children curled up together on the couch while the sun sinks down behind the trees and the room gradually darkens. They laugh as they watch a favorite TV show (and sometimes fight) before dinner. 

Meanwhile, I sip my hot tea as I turn around the kitchen grabbing ingredients and making dinner. When the children aren't looking (or listening) I sneak a few chocolates from Christmas to keep my energy levels going. One afternoon as I chatted with my mum at the end of the hall, I waited for the boys to run out of earshot and then we indulged ourselves in a box of Purdy's chocolates I had stashed away in my bedroom. Only a couple each because that's all we had time to eat before the little boys ran back into the room again.

While I do dishes, Ollie pushes over the stool and steals bubbles from my sink, blowing them off his hand and onto my floor where they melt and make a wet mess. He's happy, so I let him. Messes can be wiped, this I've learned. There's no use getting excited over little spills that will inevitably happen with so many littles so close in age.

As I tuck in each of the children at night I can't help but gaze upon their faces and notice how grown up they are getting. Camilla is growing into such a beautiful little girl and I love seeing her personality shine. She is such a light and example to me of what it means to serve others. Some days though I can't help but feel pangs of sadness as I look at the stuffies sitting in her shelf unplayed with, or the barbies in the giveaway pile. There's so many phases she's already gone through (as the only girl I'll ever have) that I feel like I've missed out on because I've been stretched between so many littles.

The two older boys have been driving me nutty lately. They are always so hyper after school, sometimes very argumentative, a little bit sassy, full of crazy, and so LOUD! My parents and grandparents assure me this is normal, but I'm not sure how to help them understand agency and obedience. It's so hard not to yell all the time. I've been trying to figure out how to get their attention in a better way and often find myself pondering on it throughout the day. A few weeks ago I had a light bulb moment while listening to a lesson in Relief Society. I realized that Heavenly Father wants us to CHOOSE to obey instead of just obey. As I've put that perspective into parenting it has helped me be more apt to teach rather than force. Because after all "to discipline means to teach". We've had our rough moments, but it's slowly getting better, and having Daddy back here full time has helped a lot too!

I never want to forget the way Ollie climbs up beside me randomly throughout the day, pulls my hair back, and whispers sweet things in my ear. The way he says "Thank-you" for simple things all day long without being prompted melts my heart and helps me believe that I actually can raise polite, sweet children.

 

And at days end as I cradle Sawyer in my arms and walk to the nursery at the end of the hall I find myself wanting to pull him in closer. My heart swells with so much gratitude, joy, and emotion that I think it may burst! He's started giggling and I've recently discovered he has ticklish shoulders. I am constantly covering his ever-growing cheeks in kisses and holding his wrinkled hands in mine. I love the way he grabs my shirt firmly in his little fist while he nurses. I wish there was some way to capture the smells, touch, and emotions that come with motherhood. I want to savor and hang onto this baby stage forever. I think we've decided that we are content with six and right now I am at capacity, but I'm not sure how I will ever let this stage of motherhood go.

For the most part I have felt more joy than I have in a long time. Especially this past week I've found myself almost wanting to literally jump for joy or squeeze my kiddos extra tight because I love them so much. But one night when I was feeling particularly unaccomplished and flustered with all of the housework I found myself lamenting to Mike about my lack of education and certificates. He smirked and said, "You have certificates...six of them...birth certificates!" It earned him a smile and stopped the tears. I'm grateful he recognizes motherhood as an accomplishment and holds in it such high regard, especially when I struggle to remember how important my "job" is.  

This past year I've learned to trust in the journey, even when we don't understand it. These last few months have been tough and filled with so much change, but I've been finding so much happiness and joy here in slowing down and realizing the things that matter most. Watching the sun come up each day fills my soul. Taking time to play with the children and remember the thrill of sledding awoke something within me that I haven't felt in a long time and has given me a new sense of joy. Winter has me cherishing quiet, cozy afternoons and dimly lit evenings. I'm savoring these days where my kids call it "root beard" instead of "root beer" and find it so special to have pop with dinner on occasion. And watching my husband find joy, passion, and fulfillment at his new endeavors here has made me so happy!  I'm so grateful for the way Winter helps us to slow down, rest, and discover who we are again.

 "The plants and earth are resting. Maybe we should too. The longer days will be here soon enough." - Rebecca Raiden

The Bleak Midwinter

 This bleak Midwinter morning found the smallest of the house cozied up in a mamma-made blanket, slowly drifting to sleep as his brothers played nearby and his mother tidied the bedrooms. He woke ravenously hungry for second breakfast a few hours later and happily snuggled in to nurse. When his belly was full his mother lay him beside her where he cooed and smiled, drawing everyone around him in to plant kisses on his ever-growing cheeks and to rub his fuzzy head.

Sawyers Blessing Day

Today our sweet Sawyer was given a name and a blessing at church. We enjoyed a wonderful family filled weekend and are so grateful for all who traveled to support us and meet Sawyer. It was a special day filled with family, friends, and food. Mike gave a beautiful blessing in Sacrament meeting, joined in the circle by close friends and family who held the priesthood. Sawyer, you were blessed that your body would be a vessel for the spirit. That it would be strong and healthy. Your mind was blessed to grasp eternal truths at a young age. Your heart was blessed to sow seeds of eternal truth that will give you a strong testimony. You were blessed to have compassion. As you observe your sister, mother, aunts, and grandmothers your heart will be filled with compassion and lead you to Christlike service. You were blessed that as you progress you will realize spiritual gifts and that as you participate in family activities those gifts will shine. You have a gift of teaching and receiving with the spirit. You will be filled with joy as you serve your mother. As you follow Oliver you will have a desire to serve in the priesthood and you will be taught many wonderful things. You will have a close relationship with Oliver, he will be a good example to you. You were blessed to feel the love of your Father in Heaven through your life and in our home. You were blessed with joy and happiness and a kind disposition. You will be aware of the welfare of others and have a desire to serve them. I so look forward to watching you grow!