When I was growing up, being a mother was all I dreamed of doing. As a little girl I loved sneaking out of bed to rock my baby dolls in my tiny rocking chair. When I got a little bit older I would often be found at a church Christmas party or activity carrying a baby on my hip. From the age of eleven and throughout my teen years my primary income came from babysitting. I always knew that I wanted a large family and I am so grateful that Mr. Stannix was able to catch my vision and make my dreams come true. He works super hard each day so that I am able to stay home with our littles and instill in them values and manners. He is a fabulous father and teacher and there is nothing more attractive than a man who takes his role as father and provider so seriously. The days are long, but the rewards are great!
With so many littles so close in age, the decision to jump from five to six was not taken lightly. I've been told that my Great Gramma Hudkins used to say "if there's room in the heart, there's room in the home". Knowing that the heart only expands with each new addition, I had no doubt that my heart could love another baby. Physically, I'm still young, and knew I was up for the challenge. And even though there's a lot of days that I feel as though I am on the brink of insanity, I knew that if we could manage five, we could definitely do one more. The older kids are a huge help and with Joe heading off to grade 1 next year, I knew I'd only have three littles at home with me during the day. And if I'm being completely honest, there were a lot of times when I'd look at Ollie with heart eyes and joke aloud, "He's just so darn cute! How can we stop at five!"
We were super thrilled in early march to discover that we'd have a new little babe joining our crazy family. Mr. Stannix had already noticed my growing belly, and I was fighting off extreme fatigue each day, so we both knew something was up. I spent the first three months sneaking in cat naps whenever I could and wishing the house would clean itself. A few times each week, feelings of doubt and worry would creep in as I wondered if all would be well. After losing a babe well after the 12 week mark, it's hard to feel like there's any "safe" time to spread the good news or let excitement take over. I looked forward to each midwife appointment with great anticipation and they were so great at letting me listen to that heartbeat for a few extra minutes.
As our 20 week ultrasound approached, past fears began creeping in again. I hadn't felt babe move yet, even though everything I read said I should be. I would lie still on the couch a few times each day trying to feel those little taps that would reassure me that all was well. Mr. Stannix would wipe my tears and tell me everything was going to be okay quite frequently.
Words can't express the peace I felt when we were able to see our baby yawn and wiggle and squirm on the ultrasound screen today! Our ultrasound tech was so wonderful and talked to us the entire time she scanned telling us what we were looking at and counting fingers and toes. Babe was super active and our tech had to work hard to grab all of the pictures she needed. It was so good to hear (and see) that baby was moving around so much! Camilla begged us to find out the gender, and although it was tempting we ultimately decided to keep it a surprise! As our tech scanned she would ask us to close our eyes at certain times just to keep everything a secret. Our little lady is desperately hoping for a sister!
I keep joking with Joe that he's getting a baby for his birthday and he just laughs. I feel so blessed to be able to go through this experience again and I know that this babe will never be short on love. We are all so excited for this next little one to join our family mid November!