Winter Riptide

January is always a hard month for me. Last week I was treading water and this week I find myself sputtering for air. The current is strong and I have a fear of being swept away and pulled into the deep darkness of the ocean. But when you're swimming in the ocean and you find yourself stuck in a rip current it is advised that you remain calm and conserve your energy by floating. So I tip myself back, take a deep breath, and look upward for respite. My days have been piling on top of each other for a while now and with Mr. Stannix working late nights, I muddle through as best I can with a smile and as much optimism as I am able to muster. 

When I pull into the garage from grocery shopping the baby has finally fallen asleep, my toddler has drifted off for an early nap, and the boys are still fighting in the backseat. I begin to feel anxious as I look at the pile of recycling stacked in the corner and think of all of the groceries I have to lug in. In the entry way I'm greeted with wet socks, mismatched mitts and a carpet of coats. I become overwhelmed with the clutter, the constant messes, the dishes still lining my counter. I do my best to chase away the lump in my throat while my eyes brim with tears. This was definitely not in the job description when I applied for motherhood almost eight years ago. 

The boys are still fighting in the background, and I ignore it. I put away the groceries and stack the dinner dishes from the night before. The current is getting stronger, pulling me farther away from my happy place. I walk away from the mess and declare that we are going for a walk. The boys end their disagreement, Joe fusses over his socks, Fin puts his boots on the wrong feet, and the baby is crying as I buckle him into the carrier. But as soon as we step outside into the afternoon sun it's as if I've been thrown a flotation device. I cling on with both hands and find a moment of relief from the waves of life.

Ollie falls asleep a few houses down the block. Finley walks with a jump in his step a few paces ahead, giggling and squinting his eyes in the bright sunshine. Joe trudges through the slush and the mud near the edge of the sidewalk, and Hyrum follows behind with the puppy. We check the mail, drop it at home, and head up to a park we haven't visited for a while. The sun warms our faces as we take a slow pace. We pause for a snowball fight that leaves us all giggling, swing on the swings, and glide slowly down the slide for the first time since the snow arrived.

When we get home the children's feet are wet and cold, but their spirits are lifted. I put the kettle on to boil and throw a couple of heat bags in the microwave. We sip our hot chocolate at the round table while the afternoon sun pours in the big windows. Hyrum rests his feet on Joseph's chair and covers them with a heat bag. I admire Finley's smile and the way the sun glistens in his hair showing every shade of blonde from white to yellow.

In the late afternoon the two little boys fall asleep on the couch with puppy curled up near by. Camilla came home, whispered a hello, and wrapped her arms around my neck for a hug. I gave her an extra squeeze before she let me go to work on a rainbow loom bracelet. Hyrum went to the quiet of his room to work on his next lego master piece. I sat in the rocking chair soaking it all in while Ollie smiled up at me with his sparkly blue eyes. I knew I should wake them, but instead I let them sleep. 

I enjoy the quiet before the chaos of dinner ensues. I ponder this Winter riptide I've found myself in. I've learned that the more I push against the current the more likely I am to drown. Sometimes it's best just to let yourself float, conserve energy and let the rest take care of itself. Thankfully rip currents are generally narrow in the grand scheme of things and if you're an experienced enough swimmer you will eventually be able to make it out, muster up strength, and swim back to shore.

Until then, I will just keep floating.

Can't Get Enough

I seriously can't get enough of this boy and his rolls! Today I put him in a 6-9 month outfit. He is kind of a chunkster and I could kiss those cheeks of his all day long!

Friday the 13th

 It might be Friday the 13th if you step in puppy poo at 4:30am with barefeet, but I wasn't about to let that ruin my day.

I curled my hair, put on some lipstick and headed to the dentist for the boys' check-ups....

Only to discover that my little guy needed four fillings and since they conveniently had an opening later in the afternoon, we went back again! Happy Friday the 13th, hope yours was better than mine!

Swimming Lessons

This week has been insane! As I go through these busy days I have been trying ever so hard to look for the "bright spots". Today as I dressed Oliver to head out the door for the boys' swimming lessons I had one of those moments that reminded me why I do this each day. He was just being so happy, and chubby and wonderful. Life seems so much simpler as a kid. As long as you're with someone you love, life is good. I needed that reminder today. I am surrounded by amazing little people, and I love being at home to watch them grow!

Time

 This morning when we woke up the house was cold! Our furnace wasn't working properly when we went to bed and we stayed up until after midnight trying to fix it with no luck. The baby woke in the middle of the night with hands as cold as popsicles. I cozied him next to me in bed to keep him warm. Finley crawled in with us early this morning and warmed his cold feet on my legs. When it was time to wake up we went straight downstairs and turned on the fireplace. The infloor heating kept it relatively warm down there and I could change the baby without him getting chilled. We went upstairs for a quick bowl of cereal and then gathered in the basement again. Hyrum finished his bowl and then promptly barfed it up again all over the living room floor. He is the third child to get the pukes this week and now our basement smells of sour milk and corn pops.

The furnace repair man came by in the late morning. Turns out we had an ice blockage in our fresh air intake causing the pressure switch to fail. He took a few chunks of ice out of the vent and charged us an arm and a leg for labour! I guess we'll know for next time!

 

I think my favorite part of having sick kids is the extra time they spend sleeping! I even caught a few winks on the couch until Joe woke me up. We had a late lunch and I endured a few cranky littles. My sanity was walking a fine line with a counter full of dishes, a crying baby and a whiny preschooler. My Dad called just in the nick of time and brought a little sanity back into my day.

We enjoyed a relatively quiet afternoon. I made the littles up a batch of play dough and they happily played while I finished cooking the filling for the chicken pot pies.

The puppy settled into her bed for an afternoon snooze and Oliver was finally content just to lay in the bassinet and listen to the music and sound of his brother's voices as they quietly played. Just breath mamma, just breath. I tidied here and there in the kitchen between requests to "taste" their latest play dough creations. 

Finley asked to get down from the table after an hour of play. He had the sweetest twinkle in his eye and instead of placing him on the floor I propped him on my hip, placed his hand in mine, and started dancing right in the middle of my dirty kitchen. He swung his head back and giggled as we spun, then tucked in close for a cuddle. Tears of joy stung my eyes despite the trials of the day. We twirled and laughed for a few minutes more. Just as the song ended I heard the dreaded sound of barf hitting the floor in the dining room. It splattered and filled a two meter radius. Hyrum stood still in the middle and Joe stood frozen in the doorway to his bedroom on the other side. I felt the tears welling in my eyes and wondered how on earth I was going to make it until dinner. I mopped it up with paper towels and then pulled out the bucket and disinfectant and began scrubbing the floors. Camilla walked in from school before I finished and told me about her day. Just as I got to the table Finley reached for a rolling pin and knocked a full glass of water on the floor.

Everyone but Hyrum continued to play play dough while I made up a smoothie to fill hungry tummies. Joe insisted on using a spoon and while he grabbed one from the drawer his cup tipped in his arms and splattered all over my freshly cleaned floors. I totally cried. Defeated and frustrated tears. Recognizing it as an accident helped me not to lose it on Joe. When he saw my tears he hugged me and said sorry. I started counting down the hours until Mr. Stannix would walk in the door, wrap me in his strong arms, and whisper in my ear.

 Our girly started violin lessons this week and practised three times before dinner! I am already so proud of her and it's only been a few days. She loves playing it!

While I made dinner I listened to THIS incredible song that left me crying as I put the pizza toppings on with the help of the littles. It made me think of my Gramma and the need to hold my children close more often. So when Camilla begged me to play her memory game with her at the table while the pizza cooked I smiled and said "yes!" The dishes will be there tomorrow, but these days with the littles are fleeting. 

Mike got home from work just as the pizza came out of the oven. He wrapped me in a tight hug and whispered in my ear, "Hello, darling." The troubles of the day melted away in his embrace and I was filled with gratitude for our crazy, chaotic life with all of these littles and the joy that they bring into our home. Motherhood is hard, but I wouldn't trade what I have for anything

The Monday's

I start my day at 6:00am with a forced smile, determined to get into the swing of things cheerfully. We all eat breakfast before 6:30am and wave Daddy off to work. As he backs out of the garage I notice the snow that had fallen all night long and it squeaks under the wheels of his car. Before getting dressed I put on my jacket, tell Camilla she's in charge and head out to shovel. I get the front walks done and a path down the garage for Camilla to walk to the bus. Then I head in, pack Camilla's lunch and do some piano with Hyrum. We all head downstairs where it's warm and I change bums, feed baby, read scriptures and say family prayer. We wave big sister off to school and I finish helping the little boys get dressed.

We have a lot of errands to run so I start getting everyone ready and shuffling them out the door. My nose informed me that I had to change a dirty bum (of course) just after I'd slipped Fin's Winter boots on. I load everyone up, put my mitts on, and finish shoveling half the driveway while the van warms up so that I don't leave tracks. We drove to the grocery store just as the sun was rising. We watched the big red ball over the snowy hills slowly float into view lighting the sky with a soft, pink glow. By the time we made it to the store the sun had almost completely risen into view.

Once we made it to the grocery store I un-belted the boys and put the baby in the carrier. His nose quickly turns pink as the frigid Winter air nipps his face. We all run as quick as we can into the store to grab a cart. The air hurts my hands after leaving my mitts in the van. Joseph begins whining right off the bat and I know he isn't feeling well. He jumps on the end of the cart for a bit and then decides to lay on the floor of every single aisle and slide along despite my pleas to walk. Clunk. Finley's boot slips off his little foot as they dangle from the seat of the cart. I pick it up, urge Joe come along, and make my way to the next aisle. I pause to look for something and just before I go again Finley shrieks, "my BOOOOOOT!" I look down, and sure enough there's his right boot on the floor again. Hyrum is now dragging Joe down the aisles while he whines and giggles all at the same time. The mommy passing by with one well behaved child in her cart smiles and avoids eye contact. The older gentleman in the next aisle comments how I've got my hands full as I scoot my four year old with my leg. By the end of our shopping trip his coat is filthy. The older two start fighting at the checkout with full out kicking and punching involved. I put Hyrum to work transferring groceries to the till while Joe lies on the wooden bench by the exit. While I wait to pay I have to hold Hyrum back from bugging his little brother. It was a pretty big grocery order and I'm grateful for the offer of help to the van. The kicking and fighting resume in the backseat and my patience is wearing thin with three more stops to be made!

We make our way to the town office to register our puppy and get a dog tag. Finley snuggles in the carrier on my back while the older boys do cartwheels around the lobby. Before long the squabbling resumed and as I talked to the nice lady I scoot the baby carrier around so that Hyrum will give Oliver some space while Joseph pulls on my leg whining of a tummy ache. The lady behind me in line chuckles, "You've got your hands full!" Yes, indeed.

After loading them all back into the van and belting them up with frozen fingers, we make our way to the library to drop some books off, the post office for a package, and the dry cleaners for Daddy's freshly cleaned work shirts. By the time we finish everything an hour and a half has passed and I am so ready to go home!

I follow my grumpy boys into the house with a hungry baby in tow. Before any groceries can be lugged in the baby needs to be nursed. I plop down in a chair, let out a frustrated sigh and feed the baby while chaos resumes around me. Once the baby is satisfied, I begin dragging in the groceries and listening to requests for chocolate milk and yogurt.

I get a few of the groceries unloaded, feed the boys a snack, put the baby to sleep and then finish putting away the rest of the food. After lunch I start a batch of lemon cranberry muffins and lay down with Finley. Joe begs for a nap and I spend a few extra minutes rubbing his back and comforting him. While I am in the boys room, Hyrum comes and steels the sleeping puppy from the kitchen. I pull the muffins out of the oven after the boys fall asleep and then go down stairs to discover Reese has put Hyrum to sleep too. The house is completely still and I let out a sigh of relief! I make up one last batch of cranberry orange muffins and then sit down to a book.

When they wake we have a snack and wait for Camilla to come home. It doesn't take long for the after school chaos to begin. Camilla drops her coat on the floor of the entry way alongside the boys' jackets (that they refused to pick up earlier). Puppy greets her at the door with lots of jumping and licking and they all shriek and giggle while I try to photograph Ollie.

Daddy leaves late from work and the boys boycott dinner and put themselves to bed leaving Camilla, Fin and I at the table. Finley eats his portion and Joe's. Daddy arrives home shortly at 7:00pm safe and sound on the bad roads. I make an executive decision to move FHE to Wednesday night, and we tuck the last two littles into bed.

Mr. Stannix and I are so tired we can hardly keep our eyes open and have no desire to move off the downstairs couch. Eventually we crawl into bed, but neither of us get much sleep with a teething-almost-rolling baby and the two little boys. Joseph wakes up famished at 4:30am and after a banana and a cookie he barfs all over his bed (while I'm lying in it). Before 6:00am I have bedding in the wash and we begin another day...

Oliver: Four Months

 Oliver is four months old today! I made the mistake of taking these pictures just as the school bus dropped Camilla off. There was a lot of chaos in my front entry way as Ollie sat on the couch and I might have lost it for a second. The puppy was jumping on Camilla and the kids were all shrieking with glee at the arrival of their big sister. I could hardly get Oliver to look at the camera, but they did help me get some genuine Ollie grins. 

Ollie is quite the chubster and I love him all the way from his rolly chin to his chubby toes.  Kissing his giant cheeks is the highlight of my day! He lights up the room with his smiles and his giggles are to die for! He is super interactive and fun, and likes to be a part of whatever we are doing. 

 He recently discovered his hands and it's so funny watching him stare at them as he plays with his fingers. He can grab things and bring them to his mouth now and enjoys checking out his surroundings with his chubby fingers (when they aren't being sucked on). 

 He can roll from his front to his back and is super close to rolling back to front. He loves his jolly jumper but hasn't quite figured out how it works yet. I find it super helpful when I'm cleaning bedrooms in the morning. Puppy likes to jump up and say hello when he's in his jumper and it makes him giggle.

 He is quite the thinker lately and even tries to make conversation sometimes! He blows bubbles and babbles to whoever will listen, but gets especially excited when Daddy holds him after work. Whenever he snuggles with me he wraps my hair in a death grip and grabs my shirt with the other hand.

 He is such a joy and I can hardly believe how quickly this time is passing! He has grown out of a lot of his clothes already and we are into the 6 month box. He is pretty big and round, which just means there's more to love! 

Sleep has been hit and miss lately and I think he may be cutting some bottom teeth already. His fingers are constantly in his mouth and he is working his gums pretty good! Camilla has been a huge help with him lately and loves that she can carry him around a little bit more now (even if they are practically the same size). He is happy to go anywhere with her, as long as he's being held! He is such a delight and we are so happy he's ours!

Snuggle Time

We have ended up extending our stay at the Acreage by a day or two. Mr. Stannix is helping with  basement reno's and I am enjoying relaxing with my mamma and the littles. 

This morning while Ollie was enjoying some tummy time, Reese came over and snuggled next to him. She's very mindful of the children and it's been neat to watch!

Gramma also enjoyed some snuggle time with Ollie this afternoon and gave me a little nap! I'm pretty sure this chub has started teething and we've had some rough nights!

Joseph is pretty rough and tumble, so Reese usually keeps her distance. When I came into the room to find the two of them snuggled on the couch it was a heart melter. He was quite proud that she fell asleep on him! Tomorrow is our last day here and we are going to miss the relaxation and family!!

Snow Tunnels

This afternoon the older two begged Daddy to dig tunnels with them in the snow. He happily obliged and they ended up with a pretty sweet little fort in the snow banks. It had two tunnels, joined by another tunnel and a secret roof entrance. They love spending time with their Daddy and were so happy when they came inside!

Acreage Adventures

We have found ourselves out at the Acreage for the last bit of Christmas break. I must admit I shed a tear or two when I thought about my Gramma not being next door anymore. She always brought over warm banana bread upon our arrival and the littles would gobble a whole loaf to themselves. Grampa is doing well and when he caught me crying he told me to be happy. He said that I should just tell myself to be happy anytime I felt like crying. It was so cute. Mom and I went through Gramma's yarn and got it out of Grampa's way as per request. I inherited her stash and a few special crochet books (the one's she picked the patterns from for our baby blankets). It's so quiet over there now without the radio and TV going non-stop. I sure miss her.

Despite the cold weather the littles bundled up and asked Grampa for a sled ride behind the quad. We had to do some shuffling with the ski pants since I forgot Hyrum's, but it worked out okay because they are all similar in size. 

Typically they go for a nice, easy ride down the road, but today Grampa took them to the back field. They are getting older and enjoy the thrill of falling off much more now. 

Our cautious Camilla was even trying to tip the sled when Grampa would whip them around the corners! Their giggles were priceless!

Joseph finally worked up the courage near the end and went for one circle. He wasn't a fan of the tilted sled as it followed the quad tracks around the field, but he survived!

I hung out with this handsome guy until the littles begged me to get my snow gear on and go for a ride with them. Being that I'm not pregnant this Winter I was able to let loose and have fun without worrying about anything. Camilla and I shrieked and whooped behind the quad as Grampa crazily drove around the field. It made me miss the good old days with the neighborhood kids!