Silent Night

 This happy little boy slept for EIGHT hours in a row last night! It's been the best gift of the season so far! I love this little chub-a-lub!

Golf & Country Club

Tonight Mr. Stannix and I attended his work Christmas party at the Golf & Country club. My sister was sweet enough to babysit for us and brave enough to take a semi-bottle taking Ollie for the evening. When we pulled up to the venue we admired the Christmas lights strung around big tall pine trees all over the grounds. It was so beautiful! We entered the building, all decked out in holiday cheer and joined the hundreds of people mingling upstairs. They had tables of food set out on each end of the venue and a dj/live band switching off in the middle room. We enjoyed some perogies, lamb, unique pizza, spring rolls, roast beef, and sea food. There was an entire table devoted to different kinds of cheese and crackers. Dessert was divine and I may have gone back for a few more of those pudding cups. Lemon pudding, chocolate cheesecake pudding. It was so rich and yummy! We eventually found a few people to chat with and stayed as long as we could. Emma did a fabulous job with the littles and we came home to a happy house and a chubby baby who finally decided to suck back his bottle moments before our arrival.

(Me & my handsome steed ;) )

Indoor Play

This week has been a bit chilly. The littles were driving me nuts as they ran circles around our house all afternoon. The little boys were loud (normal), crazy, and full of energy. I knew we needed to get out! Camilla had a day off school today which provided the perfect opportunity to check out an old favorite play place in the city and burn off some energy. We got away a bit later than anticipated and I stayed until they were played out. Finley navigated the play structure like a pro and I got to sit in the sidelines with Ollie and watch all the action. He went down the big slides at least a million times and tired himself out from climbing up there so many times. Occasionally the older two would stop what they were doing, grab his hand and lead him around the maze of platforms and mats. It was so sweet to watch everyone get along so well. When Ollie got hungry I put him in the wrap and nursed while following my red faced littles around. When they started complaining of hunger I bought them cookies as big as their faces and we all shared a smoothie. Hyrum's sweaty hair was all spiked up in the front and their faces were flushed. When I decided it was time to go, they happily obliged and slept the whole way home. It was a day well spent I'd say!

 First run down the slide

Christmas Crafting

 This morning the boys and I got up to some Christmas crafting (thanks pinterest)! After scrolling through random Christmas stuff on pinterest during a late night nursing, I came up with the perfect way to use up all of our empty toilet paper rolls. I dug the paint out of the craft bin as soon as the boys started fighting and side tracked them with a project. While we waited for the toilet paper rolls to dry, we made glowing chalk Christmas lights on black construction paper. I then stapled everything together and let them go nutts decorating their trees with glitter glue, bingo stampers and stickers. It was funny to notice the difference in the two boys. Hyrum was very meticulous about where he was putting the circles on his tree. Joe slapped together a little bit of this, a big glob of glitter and called it good. Some of the differences are due to age, but I think a lot has to do with their personalities. It's so fun seeing how Hyrum approaches things carefully, while Joe dives in with both feet and makes sure there's always a little bit of everything. They were quite proud of their finished product! 

Hoar Frost

This morning we woke up to a clear sky and a sparkly Winter wonderland. The trees were veiled in white and their branches sparkled as they danced in the sun. The grass was covered in a thick layer of frost instead of the usual snow and glistened in the morning glow. While the littles ate breakfast at the little round table I released a deep breath and took it all in. There is beauty all around, some days you just have to look really hard for it, and I knew today was going to be one of those days.

As I stared out the window at the pink sky, I reflected on my less than pleasant night with my almost-two-year-old and the way I tried to hold him close during his two temper tantrums this morning. He had thrown his muffin across the floor, so I picked it up and ate it because he didn't want it (obviously) which made him SO mad. He's getting to the tricky, independent age where I have to try very hard to see the world through his little eyes. Sometimes things just don't make sense to me and it's hard to be patient. Instead of getting grumpy when he ran away giggling half-way through dressing him, I played along, and even laughed a little myself!

Last night he crawled into bed with us (which brought the total bed count up to FOUR). I let him snuggle for a few minutes and then cuddled him back into his bed. I didn't even make it to the door before he had jumped back out of bed and began following me. I tucked him back in again...and again...and again. Before long we were both crying, and I gave up and slept in Joe's bed, only to have him crawl up next to me a few moments later. He tossed and turned until he found the perfect fit, with his head resting near my neck and my arms wrapped around him. Sometimes I have to take a step back and listen with my heart to his silent pleas to be held and cuddled for "just a little longer mommy."

Camilla tried sneaking an extra stuffed animal to school. I only caught her because she stuffed it up her coat. I tried explaining our one stuffie only rule and how she could lose it and would have a hard time keeping track of them both. She stared at the ground and explained that her friends were all bringing dogs today and she wanted to bring them both. I sighed, and let her have her way because it's not the end of the world, but reminded her that she's almost getting too old to bring them to school and pretty soon her friends won't be bringing them either. I try not to discourage the stuffed animal thing too much because if I had my way I'd keep her little, innocent and full of imagination forever. Perhaps my lack of sleep and unpleasant mood had something to do with my poor handling of the situation. She hugged me good-bye and then I noticed her eyes were moist as she made her way down the front steps and my heart broke in two. I knelt down in the doorway and asked her what was wrong. She ran and hugged me and told me she always wants to bring stuffies to school and can't bear the thought of ever going to school without one. Then we heard her bus arriving at the stop and she had to go quick. I wanted to hold her forever. I shouted an "I love you! Be safe!" as she rounded the corner by the garage and slowly closed the front door.

We then went about our morning routines but I was meeting resistance on every turn. No body wanted to make their beds or unload the dishwasher or do their kindergarten book. Not only did they not want to do it, but they were very vocal in letting me know they didn't want to do it and that I was "the meanest mom ever". I am certain it's one of many times I will hear that phrase, but knowing that doesn't make it hurt any less. I retreated to my room, made my bed, and knelt for a morning prayer. When no one else understands this craziness that is my life, Heavenly Father does. Tears fell on my duvet as I expressed love for my children, gratitude for my blessings, and frustration at my current predicament. I plead for more charity and grace as I went through my day and the ability to give love to my children in difficult circumstances. 

Oliver woke up for the day full of smiles. He always cries to let me know he's awake and then when I pull him from his crib he gives a few sleepy blinks before he recognizes my face and grins. It really is the little things. While I change and dress him everyone always gathers around to say hello.  Hyrum held him for me in the rocker for a few minutes and loved it!

Another highlight of my day was walking into a freshly cleaned bathroom covered in an inch of toilet water from my awesome almost-two-year-old who thought it would be great fun to use the toilet brush and flick water everywhere. I literally sobbed the whole time I was wiping it up.  By the time I made it upstairs dinner was smoking on the stove (still salvageable thank-goodness). Hardly anybody ate their spaghetti (due to the black spots in the meat sauce perhaps?) and I finally gave up. Joe went into the tub, Finley got jammied, and the baby and the older two accompanied me to parent teacher night even though Hyrum hadn't eaten a bite in the half hour he sat at the table. 

Camilla is doing well in school! Her teacher is pleased with her work, urged her to keep up on the home reading and told her she is pleasant and wonderful to have in class and that's where it really counts.

After the day I've had I am rewarding myself with the last half of my novel. Sometimes I gotta stay up late reading to save my sanity. Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet.

Blowing Raspberries

I woke curled up next to a little boy who snuck into our bed sometime in the middle of the night. He's been here so many nights in a row that I've lost count and always takes over the entire middle of our king sized bed. Usually I go across the hall and spend half the night in his bed just to get some sleep. We had cereal for breakfast (again) which always makes me feel like a terrible mom. I am just too tried to make anything else.

The boys alternated between fighting and playing all morning long. In the middle of an army battle Hyrum said, "Joe, put your finger on your nose to pause the game!" He had to run off to the bathroom and didn't want his brother to have free hands to play until he got back. I grinned as I listened from the rocking chair. 

After an extra long afternoon nap, Oliver woke up cooing and smiling. He is such a pleasant baby and I feel so blessed to be his mamma. He slept so long that he required an outfit change. After undressing him and putting him into a fresh cloth diaper I couldn't help but snap a few pictures of him in the afternoon light. There's something about a naked baby that is oh so kissable. Joseph wandered into my room while I was snapping pictures and couldn't resist blowing a giant raspberry on Ollie's belly. They both laughed. Joseph kissed his cheeks, his nose, his forehead. He told me how much he loves his baby brother and how glad he was that Ollie is a part of our family. It was a definite bright spot in my day.

I put a roast in the oven for dinner. The house was chilly and the oven always warms it up and fills it with pleasant smells. I snuck a batch of lemon & berry muffins in beside it to cook late afternoon. The children enjoyed them warm. Shortly after the sun had gone down the power went out. The children all came running upstairs to find me. We lit a few candles and they continued coloring by candle light. It was a very cozy few minutes but we were glad when the power came back on so we didn't have to eat lemon muffins for dinner. 

After enjoying roast and potatoes, Daddy left to young men's. I yelled good-bye from the bathroom as I put our dirty toddler in the tub. He splashed and played while I supervised clean up duty. Camilla cleared the table and Hyrum fought for the job of rinsing the dishes for the dishwasher and did an exceptional job with no complaining. I was a happy mamma (until I went into the bathroom and stepped in a flood of water by the tub).

The last of the littles is finally tucked in. As I look around our house I see blocks and cars strewn across the toy room as well as some stray socks. There is shoes on the stairs from a bored toddler who enjoyed throwing them down just a little too much. The children's coats are carpeting our tiled entry way and there's a backpack in the middle of my livingroom floor. And next to the mountain of dishes on my counter is a cup of tea waiting for me to add two spoonfulls of honey and enjoy. My house might not be in perfect order, but tonight I am choosing to be okay with it, because I'm much too tired to worry about it now.

Big Brother

Hyrum is such a wonderful big brother! I sure am grateful for him!

Military Museum

This morning when we woke we spontaneously decided to take the children on an outing! Daddy had gone to the Military museum with his scout group earlier in the week and thought the boys would enjoy the planes and tanks. It was the perfect place to go on a chilly Saturday morning, we practically had the whole museum to ourselves! 

We let the littles take their time, read, watch the videos (or not watch). It was fun to slowly introduce them to some history, and the boys loved everything! By the third exhibit I was smirking at some little boy gun sound effects as they rolled around the corners.

Daddy saved the best for last. We spent the majority of our time looking at the planes, fighter jets and submarine scopes.

Those two little boys, always trying to be like Daddy!

Oh, my little wanderer.

Such a doting big sister!

On the way out we went downstairs to check out this cool scene. Lots of fun was had by all! Everyone fell asleep on the drive home and we got McDonalds for lunch. Family time is the best time.

With a Full Heart

It's the middle of November and the temperatures are just starting to drop. The furnace wakes us first thing in the morning and the warm air is welcoming on my cold toes. While I prepare breakfast, the littles sit on the vent and warm themselves.  As the days become shorter and we get ready to delve into Winter, I feel like I have emotionally just emerged from a bleak, lonely Winter of sorts. I have felt much like the afternoon sun, stuck behind a dark cloud for too long, biding my time until it moves along and I can shine again. Looking for the tiny rays of joy in my days has helped me so much over the last couple of weeks and that dark cloud is slowly dissipating. I am surfacing from the slump that I've been in and can physically feel the joy bubbling inside of me again. My heart flutters with excitement as I play with the littles and I'm starting to notice the little things that make life special.

In my search for joy I have learned some things and gathered advice from other wise mothers with handfuls of children demanding their attention. I have learned to just let things go more, and I have learned to just do enough. I can't expect perfectionism from myself or my house with five littles to love. One wise mamma told me, "just do enough so you aren't bothered by the mess and focus on the kids." So I just wash half of the dishes until my counter is clean enough to manage. If a messy bedroom is bothering me, I shut the door. I know that at days end I feel much better about myself because I've spent time with my littles, even if my house looks like a war zone sometimes.

I have also learned that you simply can't micromanage when you have five kids, or you'll just go crazy. Trust me. So I've been letting go more. I've been playing music in my kitchen and rediscovering a part of me that has been lost for a little while. As we enjoy those spontaneous dance parties I can feel the joy welling up inside my heart once more. I've learned to say "Yes" more often and to bite my tongue and let them sneak that second, third, or fourth cookie off the cooling rack when they think I'm not looking.

When the kids have a little less structure, amazing things happen. The other day Camilla could sense my frustration when Finley emerged from his bedroom for the fifth time after I had put him for his nap. She grabbed his hand and lead him back to his room. "I'll handle this," she said with a wink.

Lately Fin wakes crying from his nap thanks to some severe eczema behind his knees. I meet him at the top of the stairs and scoop him up into a cuddle. He lays on my lap on the couch and falls asleep again. I admire his lashes and run my fingers through his sticky, fine, blonde toddler hair.

Joe soon crawls up beside me, "I love you, Mommy. I think I'm gunna sit right here beside you okay?" He snuggles into my side until I put my arm around him.

While I crochet Hyrum crawls onto my lap for a snuggle. He rests his head on my shoulder and lets out a contented sigh. He's almost too big to curl up on my lap, so I soak it in. I have found that the answer to sadness and frustration is simply to touch more. To hold their hands, snuggle their little bodies, enjoy the sticky kisses...

Camilla gets home from school and then runs off to the park with her brothers. Lately she has been coming home before her brothers and telling me she wants to spend time together. "Girl time" she calls it. With all of these boys in our house, we have to stick together. She picks a few pumpkin muffins out of the cookie jar and warms her hands on her hot chocolate mug while Finley flicks the lights on and off (his favorite new trick).

Even though it's cooler in the afternoon the boys stay at the park as late as they can. They run around playing cops and robbers as the sun sinks behind the rooftops and the dark creeps in. They don't much mind the dark though and stay playing until I call them home. They come in with rosy cheeks, running noses and icy cold fingers.

Joe begs to hold the baby while I prepare dinner. "Mommy, do you know how much babies are special? They're like 20 specials!" He tells me as he plants a smooch on his baby brother's head.
 
Mike comes home from work and tells me how good the house looks. I laugh and can't help but wonder how he can be blind to the dishes on the counter, toys, and coats in the entry way. But that's not what's important to him. He wraps his arms around me after a long day and whispers in my ear, "You're the sunshine of my soul."  He makes me feel like a Queen even when I don't look like one.

Dinner is hit and miss, but I had some good luck this week. While Joe shoveled his food into his mouth avoiding his pile of vegetables, I asked him to have just one carrot please. He shook his head yes, and before finishing his mouth, held up one finger and exclaimed, "Then one eye will glow!" His sister had just finished telling them how carrots are good for your eyes and can help you see in the dark. After three helpings of dinner, Joe and his hollow leg are full. When he tells me that he's stuffed it's music to my ears!

After dinner we leave the dishes and go straight into the bed time routine. Hyrum says our prayers and asks that Heavenly Father, "Please bless all the people who fought for us in the war that they will be resurrected." Such a thoughtful boy that Hyrum is.

I have found joy in our new bed time routine with the little boys. I can tell that Joseph is feeling extra loved because he smooches my cheek and gives me a squeeze. I sing and sing to them until I'm interrupted by deep breathing or snoring.

The evening brings me a sweet babe sleeping in the crook of my arm smelling of fresh laundry and baby soap. I still have bags under my eyes the size of loonies. They are badges of motherhood much like the puke on my shirt and the peanut butter and honey in my hair from my lovely toddler's chubby fingers.When I place him in his crib for the night I wait just a few minutes longer to catch those sleepy grins that I love so much. The grins that make all of this worth it and help me to Carry on through the night until I begin it all over again tomorrow.

Joe Turns Four

My handsome, bright, kind, energetic boy turned four today! Although he was my toughest baby, he has grown into such a soft-hearted, playful boy! He loves to make people laugh and lives life to the fullest. He pushes my buttons every day and then melts away my frustration with a smile or giggle. He is charming and wonderful. Deep inside him is a desire to do good and to help people. We sure love our Joe! I did a quick birthday survey with him this morning. He had fun rocking in the chair and answering questions for me.

1. What is your favorite color? Blue
2. What is your favorite toy? Chase
3. What is your favorite fruit? Orange
4. What is your favorite tv show or movie? Paw Patrol
5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Tomato Soup
6. What is your favorite game? Power Rangers
7. What is your favorite snack? Ummm... Tomato soup
8. What is your favorite animal? Elephant
9. What is your favorite song? I am a Child of God
10. What is your favorite book? "Press Here"
11. Who is your best friend? Um.... Hyrum and Julie
12. What is your favorite cereal? Cheerios
13. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Play on my Trike
14. What is your favorite drink? Juice
15. What is your favorite holiday? Easter
16. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? Chester my Elephant
17. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Cheerios
18. What do you want for dinner on your birthday? Pizza.... and Jello!
19. What do you want to be when you grow up? A Vet
20. Imagine that you can become invisible whenever you wanted to. What are some of the things you would do? Pick up toys and hide them
21. I am very proud because… ummm Jesus
22. If I were President I would… I don't know
23. I am afraid to …be in the dark
24. Name one thing you do really well?  Play with Hyrum
25. Describe what it means to be a good friend. Play nice
26. What is your favorite time of day? A Holiday
27. Describe your best day ever? Go to the Zoo!
28. Describe your favorite hobby. Run around outside
29. Climbing trees is… fun
30. I wish there were a law that said….. I don't know
31. What makes you feel sad? Hyrum hitting me and not playing with me
32. What makes you feel happy? Hyrum playing with me
33. Pretend that you can fly whenever you wanted. Where would you go? To the zoo
34. If I could choose a different name, I would choose… Joseph Garth
35. Where do you want to go on vacation? Um... ZOO!
36. What is your favorite thing to do with Mom or Dad? Go somewhere together