Autumn Crafting

I am desperately trying to get back into routine, but trying to be kind to myself at the same time. I tackled the grocery store this morning with all of the boys and it went quite well. This adjustment to five has been one of the easiest because, after four, what's one more? There are still some things that are hard though, so we are taking our weeks one day at a time. 

After our busy morning, my heart melted when I came downstairs to find Finners snoozing on the couch in his overalls. I stopped for a few minutes to admire his chubby toddler toes, his arm tucked behind his head, his long dark lashes and his wispy blonde hair. Moments like these fill my mother heart to the brim and remind me why I dreamed of being a mother my whole childhood. 

With two of the four boys napping, I decided to whip up a quick craft for the big boys. With all of the time I spend sitting and feeding Oliver during the day, I sometimes feel guilty for not being able to spend more time with these cute boys. 

Pinterest came to the rescue with these cute little handprint, Fall trees. The boys had fun cutting and gluing, and even though the kitchen was still a mess when we had finished, I felt a lot better about things.

Soon, I heard Ollie squeaking and stretching over the monitor and I had to put everything else on hold.

Eat, sleep, repeat. 

That's pretty much how life is going these days....

Saturday Snuggles

International Balloon Festival

Tonight we took the littles to the International Balloon Festival in High River. When I searched free events a few months back I came across it and hoped that baby would come early enough that we'd be able to go! I have a love for hot air balloons, and the night didn't disappoint! We swung into the city in the late afternoon to pick up Daddy from work so we could drive together. We arrived early enough to get second row "seats". The field was empty when we got there, but as soon as they started blowing up the balloons the children were mesmerized. They sat in the very front on the grass, out of ear shot, and I admired their excited expressions as they chatted amongst themselves. I chuckled at the small size of the basket as each team unrolled and inflated their balloon. When dusk fell upon us, the excitement picked up even more as the balloons began to glow. It was SO COOL to see them up that close! It's really hard to fathom their actual size when you see them floating in the vast skies above. When they announced that they would soon be taking down the barrier so that we could walk into the field and check them out up close, I about died of happiness. Taking a hot air balloon ride is on my bucket list. One day...

As the night grew late, and the cool Fall air settled upon us, we maneuvered our way through the huge crowd of people and headed for home. Until next year....

Almost There

Today was tough. Real tough. I went to bed last night anticipating how busy today was going to be and when morning came, I didn't want to get out of bed. Oliver woke up to feed around 5:00am and I stumbled back to bed in the stillness of the morning with a quiet plea that my children would sleep until 7:00am. It worked! I put on my best smile when the little boys came to my bedside, and we all tip-toed into the kitchen for breakfast. Porridge was on the menu to warm and fill those little bellies on a chilly Autumn morning. After we ate there was a mad rush to get everyone dressed and ready, including the baby, so that we could leave shortly after Camilla and make it to our two week check-up with the midwife. Poor Mr. Stannix had to dry my tears before he even left for work this morning. I'm pretty sure I had cried all my make-up off just a few short minutes after I put it on.

I woke Ollie after sending Camilla out to her bus and gave him a quick bath to freshen him up (which he wasn't too happy about). As I was drying him off, Joseph came up with a problem that needed solving. I turned around to talk him through it and suddenly felt my feet get warm. Sure enough, Oliver peed all over the floor and managed to hit my shirt and jeans. Since they were the only clean clothes I had, and we were kind of in a hurry, I may or may not have changed. I mopped up the puddle, dressed the baby, and fed the baby while the boys got in the car. With a whole minute to spare I buckled Oliver into his carseat. As I went to take Finley out to the van I realized he had a dirty diaper and let out a giant sigh as I quickly changed him. Just as I went out the door, Hyrum came in and headed to the bathroom while my pleas to hurry followed him up the stairway. As we drove down the highway the gas light came on. We were already going to be pretty much late, so I stopped in the next town for gas. I'm not sure how we did it, but we still made it on time for our appointment even after all of the set backs. I suppose that's why I always plan to leave twenty minutes sooner than I need to. 

Turns out the midwife was running a little behind and we had to wait anyway! The boys were thankfully agreeable and everything went well. When she first set Oliver on the scale he was weighing in at just over 6lbs (down a whole pound from his birth weight). We were both confused, since he eats like a champ and I have an abundance of milk right now. She went and grabbed her own scale and sure enough, he weighed a nice 8lbs 6oz. He is healthy, happy, and doing great! 

We got home just in time for the boys to scarf down a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and then I dropped them at a friends while I went to the dentist. I chipped a tooth (while flossing of all things) the first night we brought Oliver home and needed to get it checked out. I left the dentist with a frozen mouth, three new fillings, and another appointment booked. I have avoided dental work for a long time now, and it needs to be done! 

I spent the afternoon tidying here and there, throwing laundry through the wash, wishing I didn't eat my last chocolate bar yesterday, and trying not to fall asleep (so tired)! My sister came in the late afternoon and did some newborn photos for me. I got to peek at a few and I am so excited to see the rest! 

Mr. Stannix, being the thoughtful guy that he is, brought me home a beautiful bouquet of flowers to cheer me up. He always knows what I need! 

When I tucked in Joseph he asked me to lie with him, like he does each night. When I finished rubbing his back he rolled over on his pillow and gave me a big, wet smooch on the cheek. There is nothing better than spontaneous kisses from my favorite preschooler! Then he melted my heart even more when he whispered, "I'm gunna listen to you mom. I want to make you SO happy." I'd love to know what that kid thinks about as he falls asleep each night. 

I am so looking forward to tomorrow. It's been a long week!

Quiet on the Homefront

 These days are slow, and I am soaking up every ounce of it. We are making it through with lots of deep breaths and trying not to go crazy over the mountain of laundry on my couch or the dishes on my counter. We enjoyed a nice, relaxing, quiet day today with no obligations, no where to go, and no expectations. 

When we wake in the morning the house is a tad on the chilly side. It's not quite cold enough to turn on the furnace, but Fall is definitely in the air! I love enjoying the cozy atmosphere in our home as we layer up in sweaters and blankets and admire the trees changing colors across the park. 

Finley is eager to help with Oliver and brings me handfuls and handfuls of diapers while I change him. Eventually the entire bag ended up in a pile on my rocking chair, and I just had to shrug.

In the late afternoon I escaped to catch a few winks in the rocking chair while I nursed Oliver and the boys played contently. Joseph fell asleep on the couch, Finley found a favorite toy, and Hyrum sat at the table with some freshly made playdough. I listened to the rain pound on the rooftop and the thunder grumble in the distance as I soaked in the quietness of the nursery.

When Camilla got home from school she grabbed a quick snack and then rushed off to the park with her little brothers. The crisp Fall air nipped at their noses as they ran and played with friends. I watched them chase each other all around the green space playing frozen tag and was brought back to my childhood. I remembered the way the cool Fall air would feel on my cheeks, warmed from playing tag with the neighbors. They came inside for dinner with drippy, pink noses and grins from ear to ear. 

Dinner was graciously brought by a friend, and it was so nice not to have to worry about what to cook. When we finished eating, Finley went for a bath and then we had ice cream. When I asked Joe what kind he wanted tonight I had  to laugh at his reasoning, "I had banilla yesterday, so today I will have chocolate please."

I then did bedtime solo for the first time since Oliver joined our family. I started with the toddler who proved to be the most difficult. I watched from the cracked doorway as he stood on his bed and high-fived his shadow approximately 100 times before he actually lied down. He then rolled all over his bed, kissed his headboard a few times, jumped in and out, and eventually fell asleep with his legs hanging off the edge.

Surviving with Five

Today is my first day all on my own. I woke up with no expectations for my day. I was going to take it easy and slow and let things happen (or not happen). In a lot of ways adjusting to five has been pretty easy. Oliver sleeps a lot during the day and I should be able to get lots done, but sometimes the thought of doing anything except for snuggle that little babe seems super overwhelming right now.  People keep telling me it's just like normal, that I can still do all of the same things I did before and my routine can carry on. But sometimes that just makes me want to cry because all I want to do is soak up as much of him as I can while he's a newborn. I'm grateful for good friends who reassure me that it's okay to sit on my bum and drink in this newborn for just a little while longer yet!

While we rocked and snuggled I decided that...

It's okay to sit and leave the mess and snuggle your newborn.

It's okay to feel overwhelmed, to cry, to give up on routine for just a little while.

It's okay to let the baskets of clean laundry sit unfolded until the couch is piled high.

It's okay to let your kids raid the cookie jar all day or have scrambled eggs for dinner.

It's okay if you can't shower or pull yourself together  for a little while in the mornings, even when your shirt is constantly drenched in milk and baby spit up.

 It's okay to ask for help.

It's okay to ask for forgiveness when your emotions get the best of you.

It's okay if you don't have it all together.

It's okay to rock and nurse that baby in a quiet room while trying not to worry about what the toddler is up to.

It's okay to turn on a favorite TV show for a little longer than usual to occupy those busy boys.

This is what I told myself, and will tell myself for the rest of the week.

 

Be kind to yourself.

Take time for you.

To all of you new mamma's out there, that little baby is going to grow so so fast. Cherish that tiny one while you can. The rest can wait.

(Ollie's first Sunday)

Homecoming

 Since we got home from the hospital pretty early in the morning, all of the littles were still in their jammies! They were so excited when we brought in the baby and quickly crowded around to "oOo" and "Aww" over how cute he was. 

Camilla was the first to exclaim, "Aw! He's so little! And so cute!" We got over the fact that he was a boy pretty quick! She's baby crazy like her mamma. Then they all fought over who would hold him first. We decided to go oldest to youngest.

 My sis snapped our first picture as a family of SEVEN!

 Huge thanks to Auntie Emma for holding down the fort!!

 My parents were able to come down for the weekend and we were so glad to have them! 

 Oliver enjoyed the extra cuddles!

 And one last shot of this girl. I can't help but think she must be pretty special to have FOUR little brothers. I love the way she nurtures and loves them! They're pretty lucky to have her!

When Grandma Comes

 My Mom was up for a few days this week to help me out. She cuddled mister Oliver late at night so that I could get some sleep, mopped my floors, washed my walls, and helped with meals. After being cooped up at home all week I decided the boys and I needed an outing. Once Oliver woke from his morning snooze we headed to a nearby park to enjoy the leaves and get some fresh air. It was extra helpful having Gramma there to catch Finley on the slide and push Joe on the swings. I am very grateful to that mother of mine for instilling in me a desire to be a mother. She has taught me all that I know, and I admire the way she selflessly serves!

One Week

Oliver's Birth Story

I am not entirely sure where this birth story starts. This baby was a tease and I contracted on and off all week. I would sleep lightly at night through waves of light contractions, hoping something would happen soon! On Thursday evening I had some pretty regular contractions but they petered out during the night. The next morning I went for a nice long walk with the boys on the bike and Finley in the stroller. I had finally finished everything I needed to get done before baby came, and tried to relax and enjoy the day. Everyone was pretty tired when we got back. After a quick lunch I tucked Finley in for a nap and then snuggled into my big bed with the other two boys. We all had a nice, long 2 1/2 hour nap! I didn't know how needed and inspired the nap was until later that night.

When we woke up we went and met up with some friends at the park. While pushing Joe on the swing, I got a few good contractions. When we got home the kids ate a snack and I started recording the time between contractions. They were 7-10 minutes apart and strong enough to make walking difficult. I smiled to myself as I thought about how our babies always come on weekends! I went ahead and made dinner while the kids played downstairs. When Mike got home I showed him my sheet of paper where I had been recording contractions and he went to work loading the carseat and hospital bag. He really didn't want to have a baby on our long drive into the hospital. We scarfed down our dinner and called a friend to stay with the kids while my sister made her way to our house. Mike gave me a blessing of comfort and strength before we left. As I said good-bye I felt surprisingly calm and ready.

We purposely decided to head to the hospital nice and early since it's a 45 minute drive. We anticipated spending the evening walking around the mall waiting for things to pick up. When we got to the mall my contractions were five minutes apart and we decided to keep driving towards the hospital. We stopped at a store to pick up some snacks and I gave a quick call to my midwife to update her. My contractions were 4-5 minutes apart, lasting one minute. She told me she would call her backup and meet us at the hospital as soon as she could. We slowly made our way over there to be admitted. I was feeling nauseous, cold, and shaky and hoped this meant things would be quick.

My last labor was hard for me mentally. After a stillbirth I was worried about the complications. I knew what to expect and was scared of the pain. This time I was determined to be more mentally zoned in on my body and what was happening.

We arrived at the hospital around 8:30pm and I calmly walked up to the labor unit where we met up with Hayley and Kim (my awesome mother-daughter midwife team). We got a nice, quiet room with dimmed lights. I got changed, walked, swayed, leaned on the bed. Around 9:30 I had to breath pretty good through contractions. I closed my eyes with each one and let it wash over me. My midwife reminded me to relax my shoulders and let the contractions work. I braced myself against the wall for each one while Mike pushed hard on my lower back to ease the back labor I always get. I was reminded of Hyrum's birth and the way Mike and I worked together through the labor. Knowing he was by my side made me feel safe. I zoned out from everything going on around me. Kim placed a hot pack on my back and I concentrated on the relief from the heat. I closed my eyes and practiced my breathing while Mike and my midwife team quietly talked in the background between contractions. When he noticed me contracting he would rush to my side and help where he could. We made a good team!

Things got intense pretty quick and I could feel my body doing what it was supposed to do. My water broke all on it's own, and the adrenaline quickly followed. Hayley and Kim helped me into the bed. It felt familiar. This was where I birthed all of my babies. It was what I knew.

When it came time to push there was no blaring lights, no doctor taking off the bottom of the bed to catch the baby. It was calm and peaceful and just what I wanted.

Mike bet that baby would arrive around 11:30. We've done this a few times and he knows how my body works. I pushed for 15-20 minutes. Every time I started saying I couldn't do it anymore, my midwives would stop me with a quick, "Yes, you can! You're doing great!" Hearing that this baby had some hair peeked my curiosity and sped up my desire to meet him or her soon. I closed my eyes and concentrated hard on what my body needed to do. I prayed for strength and kept breathing to stay calm. Before I knew it Daddy had caught the baby and we were hearing the first cries. Daddy was brave and wonderful and it was so great to have him by my side. Baby was immediately placed on my chest and a warmed blanket cozied around us.

Since no one had declared the gender, I had to ask. "It's a boy!" declared Daddy. I totally thought he was joking. I whole heartedly believed that this babe was going to be a girl. I had to check for myself, because I really didn't believe Mike! After checking, the first words out of my mouth were, "Camilla is going to kill me!" The poor girl was really rooting for a little sister.

He was so beautiful, and of course I fell in love with his squishy little body right away.  My favorite part about birthing with a midwife is the time and stillness they give you to enjoy the new babe. He wasn't being whisked away to be weighed and measured. They let us cuddle until the cord stopped pulsing and then Daddy did the honors and cut the cord. The room was quiet and peaceful.

He had his first big poop and a pee while he nursed. Hayley cleaned him up for me, and then passed him over to Daddy for a snuggle. They didn't even weigh and measure him until after I had showered and changed. He was 7lbs 15oz and 21" long.

I knew that we could go home as soon as we wanted, but given how tired I was, and the fact that it was close to 3:00am before we were all settled in under fresh blankets, I opted to stay for a while and sleep. The hospital staff kindly agreed, on the condition that they wouldn't have to come in and check us (which was perfect, because then I could sleep!) I dozed on and off, nursed when Ollie needed it, and admired him in the dimly lit hospital room. I loved the way he slept with his hands curled up around his face. I oogled over the peach fuzz on his cheeks. I admired the way his long wisps of dark, smooth hair tickled his neck, and stared into his bright eyes as he looked at his new world.

Shortly after 6:00am a nurse quietly knocked at the door and informed us that they had a few ladies coming in to the hospital and really needed the room. I woke Mike and we dressed Oliver into some warm clothes for the car ride home.

We drove into the sunrise and watched the pink sky change to orange and then blue. We stopped for a quick breakfast and ate in the van in silence before coming home to excited siblings, eagerly awaiting to find out if they had a new baby brother or sister.