The Children's Hospital

We had quite a scare on Sunday evening!! Finley was standing on a stool helping me with dinner when I opened the dishwasher to quickly grab some clean plates. In the blink of an eye he had turned on the stool to help and ended up falling onto the cutlery tray. I caught his arm as he fell but he was crying pretty hard. When I noticed a couple of rips in his shirt I tore it off to find two pretty bad wounds. I quickly applied pressure while Mike gathered the kids into the van and drove us to the hospital down the road. 

I wasn't about to leave his side, even though carrying him with my huge belly was super awkward. They put some numbing cream and gauze on his chest and I figured we'd be leaving with stitches. After waiting close to two hours (most of which he slept through) we finally got to see the doctor. He sent us for x-rays just to make sure there wasn't any unseen damage. Finley screamed through the whole thing and sniffled the whole way back to our little hospital room. The x-ray tech forgot to take the guaze off, and the doctor wanted a better look because he saw something he didn't like. Finley screamed through the second set of x-rays and I stood in the hall in tears. 

After looking at the x-rays the doctor decided to transfer us via ambulance to the Calgary Children's Hospital for a potential CT scan. They put an IV in his poor little hand and administered antibiotics on the ride in. Both of us had missed dinner and the poor little guy was put on a fast in case something more serious needed to be taken care of. It was a first ambulance ride for both of us! He was such a trooper. 

The paramedic who rode with me in the back told me how overwhelmed parents can get when they arrive at the Children's hospital and get bombarded with people. It was certainly something I won't soon forget. I stood close to his bedside while the paramedic shouted out his name, gender, and what happened. At the same time two doctors were near his head calling out vitals and attaching all of these cords. The team leader was at the foot of the bed organizing everyone and in the midst of all the noise I was introduced to about five different people. They took another set of x-rays while he wimpered on his bed and I stood in the hall. A sweet nurse asked if I needed anything and brought me some apple juice to keep me going. They pulled a chair up by the side of the bed for me to sit while they did a quick ultrasound to check for fluid around his heart. It was determined that they would go ahead with the CT scan just to make sure all was well and the poor little guy got another IV in his other arm for the coloring to be injected. I held my head close to his and hummed a favorite song in his ear to help calm his cries.

We were blessed with friends down the street who were willing to sit with our sleeping kids until my sister could arrive, so that Mike could meet me at the hospital. He arrived just in time to accompany Finley for the CT scan. I wasn't able to go in because of being pregnant and all, and they would have had to sedate him if Mike hadn't arrived when he did. While I waited in the hall I heard him cry for me and prayed hard that he would settle and be still enough to get it all done without being sedated. Prayers were definitely answered and he lied calmly with his Daddy holding his hands and whispering in his ears. 

After his CT scan he perked up quite a bit and started babbling and talking to everyone. They all thought he was the sweetest little patient and couldn't believe how still he was for a toddler. They gave him a nice big teddy to keep him company while we waited on results! It turns out the middle cut hit his sternum, thankfully missing a major artery and the second stopped just short of going into the chest cavity. Gah! It was so scary! It could have been SO much worse than it was and we definitely counted our blessings! Cleaning the wound was almost worse than getting the IV and the doctor decided to give him the tape kind of stitches instead of the other kind. Once he was all cleaned up they took off all his crazy cords and let us take him home. We got back shortly after midnight with very hungry bellies and grateful hearts. 

I am so thankful for great healthcare and an awesome hospital like the Children's Hospital. It was my first time ever being there, and it was impressive. They were so quick and good and kind. Finley smiled and chatted with every nurse he met and it was a wonderful experience.  Today he is playing around like nothing ever happened and I can't help but sigh in relief every time I look at him.

Sunday Snapshot

The Red Tricycle

There are moments when being a mother is pure joy. As I watched Hyrum and Finley play together on the back patio yesterday it filled my heart to the brim. Fin was all smiles as his big brother peddled in circles. Even when Hyrum was tired he told me he wanted to keep going "because Fin's having so much fun". It was heart warming for sure.

I think one of the most rewarding things for me is to watch the kids develop their relationships and deepen their love for one another. So much can be learned in our little families and I cherish the life skills these guys learn from each other every day.

Being a big brother is one of the best jobs in the whole world, and I'm so glad my boys have Hyrum to look up to!

First Day of School

I have been prepping for this day for the last couple of weeks. With hair cuts done, nails trimmed, and the freezer stocked full of homemade cheese buns and muffins for lunches, we were ready to take on the morning! Camilla woke at the early hour of 6:00am and came upstairs all dressed in her outfit with her backpack secured on her back. She requested a special breakfast of pancakes and while I mixed she filled her lunch kit with goodies. As we ate she vibrated with excitement and that sweet smile of hers never left her face. "I just can't wait to get on those monkey bars again, mom!" I should have taken pictures of the epic blisters this girl acquired on her hands by the end of Grade one.

And just like that my baby girl is in second grade!

This guy is starting Kindergarten at home, but we wanted his "first day" to be special too!

 These two get mistaken for twins all the time! Hyrum might be a smidge taller than his sister right now.

We all loaded up and drove Camilla to school for her first day in Mr. Green's class! She couldn't wait to see all of her old friends from last year and quickly dropped her backpack in the line and rushed to the playground. I got to meet her teacher, give her a very quick hug good-bye, and walk to the van with Finley snuggled on my back and a boy holding each hand. I drove home already missing her, but happy that she was feeling so confident and excited!

 

Happy first day of school!

Last Days of Summer

 I can hardly believe we are at the end of Summer break already! At the beginning of Summer I had great ambitions and ideas to keep us busy, but in the end we spent most of our days soaking up time together and enjoying the break from routine. I don't think any of the littles minded spending their days at the park, using their imaginations, or coloring pictures.

The fields are being harvested, the trees are changing colors, and there is a coolness in the air when we wake. When I think about Fall creeping up on us it gives me a shiver of excitement. It's the perfect temperature for exploring nature, letting the wind blow through my hair, and sipping hot chocolate. It also reminds me of when Mr. Stannix and I first met when I started a new stage of life in college. So many memories are attached to this season for me!

My littles have been spending their last days of Summer break soaking in the sun after it warms up each morning. They often pull each other to the park in the wagon and spend their mornings catching bugs and climbing. Camilla came home one day with a grasshopper in her hands and asked me to take a peek. "Don't worry, I tamed it!" she says, as it stares up at me through the tiny peek hole.

As we drove around and admired the fields, I glanced in the rear view and ask Joe if he remembered his coat. "Yup! It's on my lap," he said. "Well, I don't see it Joe," I reply. "Well, that's 'cause it's invisible, mom!" He said with a smirk. Oh, my Joe. 

Camilla made me some new art for my wall. It's all of us at sunset. I adore that sweet girl and her talent for drawing. My heart aches a little when I think of her heading back to school right away! Sometimes, I wish there were more Summer days....

Above and Beyond

 This Mr. Stannix of mine sure does a great job of keeping me happy. Not only does he work hard during the week, but he puts in the extra effort on the weekend to make our family time special. Over the last few weeks he has spent a lot of time doing little things that make me happy. He was able to take time to join me at my midwife appointment this week and pick me up a new washing machine (which I love so far). This morning I woke with Finley asleep on my arm. When Joseph came to our bedside bright and early begging for breakfast, Daddy got up and gave him something to eat.

When Daddy is home we start our mornings with a family walk. It's always busy, but so fun to be all together!

He makes sure to spend some one on one time with each of them playing baseball, running an errand, or reading a book. Today he took Camilla to get her hair cut, and she was just tickled! These little moments mean so much to each of them. He has painted, hung pictures, done dishes, and taken care of most of the weekend cooking. When he's home to BBQ, dinners are easy!  I have really appreciated his extra effort. In the evening he surprised me with my favorite treats and we cozied up to a favorite show. I am feeling extra grateful for this husband of mine these days. I love that he's a team player and makes up for where I lack. We are sure lucky to have him!

The Circle of Motherhood

August is coming to a close much quicker than I thought it would.  As I stared at my calendar this week I couldn't believe how few days we had left to enjoy before my oldest begins grade two and our daily routines shift once more. The younger boys have taken it upon themselves to help prepare me for baby and most nights I see every hour on the clock as I shuffle them between beds, give a cuddle after a bad dream, endure middle of the night tantrums, and fill sippy-cups. With my due date just around the corner I have reached a whole new level of "survival mode" and a lot of things (including my blog) have been pushed aside. I wake with dark circles under my eyes that seem too big these days for even make-up to hide While Summer has provided a nice break of sorts and an opportunity to recharge, the chores and other motherly duties have always been there, and lately it takes everything in me to complete them.

Each morning I am woken by the sound of tiny feet walking to my bedside. They are up before the sun and they tug on my arm and beg for "bepest" until I wake enough to answer them.  When I reach the kitchen I find them seated quietly at the table as the first rays of sun poke over the roof tops. They enjoy a yogurt and talk in whispers until everyone else wakes. Some mornings Finley will hang off my legs as I make breakfast. If I pause in front of the counter too long he lays his head on my foot and doesn't move, still tired from waking up too early. 

In an effort to get back into routine, I have printed new and improved chore charts and hung them in the kitchen. Some days it's like pulling teeth to get everyone to complete their tasks, and others the heavens open and everything goes smoothly. I love when I hear them doing team work to complete their morning chores. Camilla helps Hyrum with his room and vice-a-versa.  Joe gets dressed in the same undies he wore the day before because there's no clean one's left (even though I just washed his clothes the day before yesterday). He beams with pride after cleaning his room and excitedly colors in his circles on the chore chart. The whining and fighting is slowly decreasing, and they are loving the feeling of being responsible for something.

I try to get our running around done in the morning to ensure we have a solid nap time in the afternoon. After buckling everyone in, I turn on the van to find the lights on, wipers going full blast, and left signal light blinking. I smile, Joe was here.

While we drive to the grocery store Hyrum gives me a few winks in the rear view mirror. It's kind of become a special way to tell each other I love you. Everyone behaves well, except a certain rambunctious preschooler who delights in running up and down the aisle. He ends up buckled in the car cart next to his little brother who's face and arms show every color of the rainbow in washable marker.

When we get home, I lug the groceries in and take a quick bathroom break. I can hear Finley digging in the grocery tote and hurry to see what he's up to. I come out to find an egg cracked perfectly over the top of a pop bottle and pooling at the bottom of the tote. I close my eyes and take a deep breath while Finley gives the sweetest apology, "So-wee, Mom."

I haven't had a chance to clean up breakfast yet, but the children are hungry again. I muster up as much energy as I can and make them each a slice of cheese whiz toast. Everyone enjoys it, except Joe who prefers to scoop the cheese whiz off with his fingers and smear it on his cheeks for a laugh. 

As the children play I toss in a load of laundry. It takes almost a whole day to complete it as I tinker with the washer every time it flashes the error code. It doesn't drain properly this week and I have resorted to kicking and smacking the lid to get it started again. I let out a sigh of relief when the load successfully goes through! As I open the washer I find a ten pound pull-up, soaked beyond capacity with water. The little gel beads are all over the rest of the clothes that are supposed to be clean, and I want to cry. I send it through a rinse while crossing my fingers and toes in hopes that it will work one more time.

After tending to the dog outside, I head to the bathroom to wash my hands. The hand soap is empty again from being used as shampoo for the dinosaurs or other plastic animals. I step in the small remaining puddle from a morning of sink play while I turn on the tap. The hand towel is on the floor and I pick it up for the hundredth time. 

I look around the basement and realize it could use a bit of a clean. As I tidy the toys into a laundry basket, I find a big wad of pink bubble gum mashed into the carpet by the couch. I take a deep breath and remind my preschooler that gum belongs in the garbage. Finley rubs my back and smooches my lips while I crawl around the floor, so aware of the exhaustion I feel. 

When I walk into the kitchen I find that Finley has overflowed the water cooler...again. Thankfully, one of the older kids offers to bend and clean it up for me this time.

Later in the afternoon I fold the blankets from their morning fort and find a giant plastic cup, still half full of water with three bendy straws hanging over the edge. Using those imaginations must make them pretty thirsty. 

I send Joe off to join his older siblings at the park and peek out the kitchen window to make sure they're all together. It's been a bit of a tough afternoon, and just when I think they can't possibly be friends anymore, I see the older two rush towards Joe and embrace him in a big sibling hug. Later, they all hold hands as they come home for another snack before I've even had a chance to wipe up the crumbs from their last.

As I make dinner I ask Camilla to go check on Joe. She chuckles and then says, "Why? Are your Joe senses tingling?" I can't help but laugh. 

Mr. Stannix brings me home some beautiful flowers to show his love and to help cheer me up.  They look lovely on my table and remind me of him throughout the day.

We all sit down for a chaotic dinner and before I know it, we're thick in the middle of the bedtime routine. Daddy helps rally the troops with his watch timer while I wrestle the toddler into his jammies. After scriptures and prayers we tuck each of the littles in and I breath a sigh of relief. I've made it through another day. 

Once the littles have finally fallen asleep I find myself in the middle of dishes with tears running down my cheeks. Tears of exhaustion. Tears because I constantly feel inadequate. Tears of frustration because I haven't been able to serve others as much as I'd like since I'm so busy serving in my home. Tears of love for a certain rambunctious child who is struggling to show respect to others, as his actions scream for attention each day. I wonder how much of that is my fault and plead with Heavenly Father for the ability to help him. I think of my own mom and wonder if she ever felt this way after a long day at home. And then I turn around and notice a little, red sticky note on the wall by my kettle. Written in a little girl's handwriting is a simple, "I love you Mom" followed by a heart. The tears flow faster as I think of the simple love a child can have despite one's shortcomings. 

As the sun dips down behind the mountains, I am left feeling dizzy from constantly doing things that are being undone. It's hard to feel accomplished as a mother when the sink fills with dishes shortly after you've emptied it and clothes get tossed in the hamper just after you've washed them. Trying to find a sense of accomplishment is a daily struggle for me lately.

I recently read a blog post where a wise mamma shared some advice that she received from her own mother.  She wrote, "You can't think of what you need to accomplish as a list... It's a circle." This small bit of advice reminded me that I need to stop measuring myself against my to-do list. Motherhood isn't about the mundane tasks that need completing each day, it's about the little things, the small efforts. So for now, I'm celebrating the little things and trying to feeling accomplished in those. Soon the littles will all be grown, and I will be left wishing for these days back again.

Going to the Zoo

 Today we took the kids to the zoo! We kept it a surprise all the way there and it drove them crazy trying to guess where we were going. Then Camilla saw a sign that said "zoo" and read it. "We're going to the zoo! I knew it! I can read. Sorry, I spoiled everything!" she exclaimed, practically in one breath. Mr. Stannix and I looked at each other and smiled. They were super excited when we got there and wanted to hit up the penguins first. The last time we were here, Joe was Fin's age. It was so fun to see Joseph enjoy the animals. Hyrum got so excited about everything. Mr. Stannix and I got a good chuckle when we stopped to look at the whooping crane and Hyrum exclaimed, "Look! A white flamingo!" After a couple of hours, our feet were sore and everyone was begging to go home. They all fell asleep before we left the city limits. It was definitely a day well spent!

In the Middle of the Night

This is a little glimps of what life looks like around here at 3:00am. I spend most of my night bouncing back and forth between the younger two. Joseph will have a bad dream and an hour later Finley will wake up with teething woes and scream for an hour. One night he got angry, slammed his door, and stomped back to his bed. I stood in the dark outside his door giggling quietly to myself while I listened to him tuck himself back into bed. Another night he stomped off to the corner of the room and sat on the floor. I also might have giggled a little bit as I watched him nod off. His eye lids were heavy and his head kept sliding against the wall as he fought to stay awake. I eventually scooped him up and tucked him back into bed. Finding him sleeping half off his bed is not an unusual thing. This kid keeps me laughing, even in the middle of the night!

Afternoon Art

 When I happened upon this scene today after putting Fin for his nap, I couldn't help but snap a picture. Everyone was whispering and getting along and it made my mother heart swell with joy. I sure love my little artists!