Let the Packing Begin

A Jumble of Thoughts

This weekend we cozied up together as a family and took in all four sessions of General Conference in our basement. The talks were so enriching and I can't wait to go back and listen to a few of them again. The children did really well sitting through each of the sessions and I got to listen to all but the last half of the last session. I had a few coloring pages to keep them busy, which Camilla and Hyrum loved. I adored how realistic Camilla's drawings were and her ability to interpret what they were speaking on.

"We do not have to be perfect. But we need to be good and getting better."
-Kim B. Clark

"Put God first, regardless of the trials you face. Love God. Have faith in Christ, and entrust yourself to Him in all things."
-Koichi Aoyagi

"The kingdom of God is not and cannot be complete without women who make sacred covenants and keep them."
-Russell M. Nelson

October is blowing by quickly. The leaves are almost all on the ground now and our move is fast approaching. Our boxes were delivered today which means I can officially start packing. We have two weeks to go until moving day but the weather has been so great that I'm finding it hard to stay inside.

Over the weekend I spent my evenings working my crochet hook and letting the stress run out my finger tips as I created. I made the older three little animals and it has made me so happy to see how loved they are. While I was making Hyrum's I kept getting frustrated with the nose and tried to change it so it looked better. Hyrum told me to just leave it because he loves it the way it is. All day he told me how much he loved me and thanked me for making him his little rabbit. That poor little rabbit is kind of an eyesore but to hear Hyrum sincerely tell me how pleased he is with it fills my heart to the top. He is willing to overlook the imperfections because his mamma made it for him with love, and that is enough.

 

Camilla is loving school and excited to start her weekly spelling tests. She reads her books without any problem and tells me that they are "easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy". Last week I forgot about early dismissal and was maybe a half an hour late picking her up after I got a call from the school. I felt like the worst mother ever, but when I got there and realized that at least five other mothers had also forgot I didn't feel AS terrible. I made it up today by bringing cookies to after school pick up. Camilla munched away happily in the backseat, talking nonstop between chews and cracking jokes. "Do you know why they call them snicker doodles? Because, they're so good that the kids SNEAK them from their Mom's. Get it...SNEAK-erdoodles?" Her laugh is so awesome! I love that kid.

Finley has gotten pretty quick on his hands and knees now which has kept me on my toes more than usual. The other day I was sweeping the floor quicker than I ever have before. He followed me around the kitchen speed crawling and trying to reach his chubby hands into the dust pile for his next treat. I swept it away over and over again, just in time for his hand to hit the clean floor, but just barely. When he gets hungry he scavenges for food under the kitchen table. He pulls himself up on everything now and even climbed a few stairs today! It's so hard to believe that in just a few short months he will be a whole year old. 

It's too bad that I can't attach a keyboard to my brain because I've composed quite a few blogposts in my head over the last couple of days while doing dishes or laying with Joseph at bed time. It seems that by the time I get around to sitting and composing something it's late into the evening and I can hardly keep my eyes open. Finley has not been sleeping well at all and little Joe has been in our bed almost every night for the past week. I am looking forward to the extra bedrooms so that the boys aren't waking each other up all night long. This mamma is tired!

Enjoying Autumn

This morning we slipped out quickly to Daddy's office to sign some paper work. We officially own a five bedroom home! On our way back the Fall colors kept catching my eye and I knew that we had to take advantage of the warm weather and the beauty. I have probably said this a million times before, but I absolutely love this time of year. The trees are absolutely beautiful, especially against a bright blue sky. We picked up some donuts and headed to a park spontaneously. The minute we arrived a flock of geese flew overhead in their V formation. I immediately wished I hadn't left my camera on the table at home, but I wasn't intending on spending the morning away. 

 The boys were in heaven. They ran right past the slides and platforms and right to the rocks and logs. They pretended to be dino hunters and loved climbing on the ropes and things. 

 The weather was amazing and I couldn't help but pull out my phone and snap a few pictures. Hyrum is such a great big brother and this one totally melts my heart!

 Once the boys had their fill of the park we went on a nature walk across the field and through the forest. Since we had nothing going on today, I threw the "schedule" out the window and enjoyed the time. It was close to lunch, but no body was hungry anyways, so we kept on exploring.

 Hyrum lead the way through the narrow forest trails until we found this pretty little ravine. Our senses were working overtime with the Fall smells, the beauty, and the warm sun on our faces. 

 The boys were having so much fun and I wished we could stay all day. We found a stream and tossed some sticks in. "Look! They float!" exclaimed Hyrum. We learned about buoyancy and hypothesized if other objects would sink or float. I checked science off my mental checklist for the day. 

 There's something about nature that fills me to the brim with joy. As we walked to the car Hyrum said, "This was the best day ever!" I told him how much I loved him and he told me he loved me to the moon. We all went home with smiles on our faces and full hearts.

Super Boys

 Today my backyard was filled with two super boys saving the world and hiding in their glass fortress. It was pretty entertaining. They begged to wear their capes to school pickup and got asked a lot of fun questions from other parents at the school. It's been so fun watching Joseph and Hyrum play together during the day. The games they play are so different and the sound effects are non-stop. Little boys are so fun!

Biking to School

 This afternoon I decided to take the boys on a bike ride for after school pickup. We left with plenty of time to spare since I wasn't sure how long it would actually take. Both of the boys boogied and we ended up biking there in under 15 minutes which left a good half hour to play at the park! I packed Camilla's scooter and helmet so that she could have something to ride on the way home. When she came out to meet us she exclaimed, "Best Mommy EVER!" It was a treat to be out and enjoy the weather! 

On the way home we snacked, explored and climbed a tree. I was glad I remembered to pack something because Camilla is always hungry for a snack after a long day of learning.  

It took us over an hour to get home and near the end Joseph was so tired! I was impressed that he made it as far as he did with his little legs pumping away on his trike. For the home stretch he went in the stroller, his trike rode in the second seat and I propped Finley on my hip. The other two were champs!

We arrived home sweaty and tuckered out. They enjoyed a bit of down time before dinner and bed. I've never seen them so excited to go to sleep before!

Heading South

 Near the end of the Summer Mr. Stannix was presented with a job opportunity that seemed too good to pass up. We quietly discussed the idea of moving and making a career change and counseled with parents and grandparents. It has been quite interesting to notice our prayers being answered and to recognize Heavenly Father's hand in our lives as we have went through this whole decision making process. Mike's move to his new job last February was a leap of faith based on a strong prompting he received. For the longest time we were unsure of the reason behind the transition, but as we prayed for understanding and acted on faith we have seen numerous blessings unfold in our little family. This job opportunity would have never been brought forward had he not acted on that prompting back in February.

We spent the last few days of Summer vacation prepping our house to sell. We rearranged the bedrooms, took out the excess furniture to make things look more spacious, scrubbed walls, touched up the paint, steamed the carpets, and put a fresh vase of flowers on the table. The front of my fridge which was once filled with familiar faces of Christmas cards and baby announcements now glared at me from the corner of my kitchen. The house echoed when we walked in and it had lost is homey, well-lived in atmosphere. The sticky fingerprints on my walls were scrubbed clean and the windows sparkled.

It all hit hard when I waved at my good friend at a church activity and found myself blinking back tears all the way to the car, wishing I could have the same great influence on their kids that they have had on mine. We hadn't yet told anyone our plans and I felt so alone. As we drove home that night I couldn't help but think back with gratitude to all of the times she saved me babysitting kids, treating me for lunch on my birthday, being a shoulder to cry on when we lost our baby, rescuing me when our van died, and swapping babysitting so we could attend the temple each week. She has been a huge example of constant service and endless love.

I've been on an emotional roller coaster ever since. I can still remember nursing Finley to sleep on the floor in the hall the night before we listed our house. I was crying because my rocking chair was in the garage and I could hardly stand the smell of the poopy diaper left by the bathroom door. I was dealing with the anxiety of Camilla switching schools her first year in. I had been washing walls like a mad woman, puttying holes and painting late into the night with Mike.

When the kids would get crazy I would cry and think to myself, who's going to save me now? I was feeling overwhelmed and was beginning to realize just how much I was going to miss my friends here. I convinced myself that I will never be able to find a friend who understands me the way that my best friend here does. Someone who will come and visit on a moments notice and just know to walk in and make herself at home. Someone who won't mind the mess and chaos that comes with four little people and voluntarily fills the sink to wash my dishes while we visit. Someone who understands how shy and quiet I am and makes a point of including me in social situations. I have been blessed to know many lovely women here who have been wonderful examples to me. The whole idea of making new friends terrifies me and I have been preparing myself for the little bit of loneliness that might come with this change. 

All of our hard work payed off  and we ended up getting an offer on our house the same day we listed it. It was so bittersweet to have things move along so quickly. It has been a huge blessing and totally reinforced in my mind that Heavenly Father's hand has been in this decision since the beginning. I can't explain how well everything has fallen into place except to attribute it to divine intervention. Minutes before we put an offer on a new home we received email confirmation that conditions had been removed and our home had officially sold! The timing of everything has been just unreal! I am so glad that I don't have to keep things spotless anymore or worry about wiping away fingerprints on the windows every second of the day. Come mid October we will be packing up our quant home here and moving to the small town of Strathmore. Mike will be commuting to downtown Calgary to his dream job and our children will be enjoying the benefits of a small town community and schools. We are thrilled to have our dreams of raising our family in a small town finally coming true, but sad to be leaving the life we have built here over the last six years. It has been a wonderful adventure and I am excited to see what's in store for us down south!

Nine Months

 I'm really not sure how this boy is nine months old already! He has changed so much this past month. He now has six whole teeth and drinks from a bottle 75% of the time. He likes to grind his teeth together during the day and the sound totally makes me cringe and want to hurry along the weening process. 

He is still the happiest little guy ever. Complete strangers will come up to me in the store and comment on his big smiles and how happy he is. His giggles are totally contagious and he really absorbs the joy from his environment. Whenever he hears the older kids laughing over something he will chime in with a laugh too. 

He loves interaction and now that he is mobile he crawls over to us and tackles us. He gives the best wet smooches and loves to nuzzle his face into my neck when he's in a goofy mood. He has started saying "Mum mum mum..." and "Da-da-da". 

Just today I caught him on his knees playing around in my pantry. The fun and games are about to begin! We will see if he can top his brothers' love for the toilet and making messes. We sure do love him and his goofy personality!

Manic Monday

It was a rather windy day today. After school I tried to be a "fun mom" and took the kids to the playground for a few minutes. It was pretty chilly for the baby who was tucked behind me in the carrier with his plaid lumberjack hat, so I give the kids their two minute warning and gear up to head home for cookies and hot chocolate. No body wants to leave and I end up dragging Joe hand in hand most of the way to the van as he "limp noodles", enduring sass from my girl and shouting at Hyrum to stay put until I can get to him so that we can all cross the road together. After we reach the van I inform everyone that we will NEVER go to the park again after school (even though that's probably not true) and then I drive home through tears feeling like the worst mamma in the whole world.

We all make it home, I collect myself and dish out the afterschool snack and listen to Camilla tell us all about her day at school and then we head to the basement to play together.

 

It's close to dinner time when I get a text from Mr. Stannix that he is running late. I shrug it off and force my best smile and while children cry and climb all over me I text back...

Me: No prob. Camilla just had a breakdown and said she doesn't want to go to school again. Hyrum has a goose egg an inch off his head from running into the wall downstairs, and Joe won't stop spitting at me and squirting Finley's bottle all over.

Mr Stannix: Wow, sounds like a Manic Monday.

The Best Part

Tonight at 7:00PM I got to bathe a delicious baby boy...

The Heart of the Home

Today we woke up to rain and clouds. If I didn't have to drop Camilla at school this morning I might not have left my house. After we got home I carried in my sleeping baby and snuggled up with the boys on the couch to watch their favorite show. As Joseph nestled his face next to mine I kissed his cheeks and ran my fingers through his hair. A nice warm feeling of gratitude and love came over me and after a terrible nights sleep I was reminded why I love being a mother so much. 

While Mr. Stannix is away from home working hard for us all day, I feel so blessed to be able to be at home to teach our children. I love when they ask me questions, and I love their creative answers. The other day Hyrum asked "Mom, where does hail come from?" I gave him a brief explanation to which he replied, "Oh, I though it was pieces of the moon falling from the sky." Joseph has entered the "why" phase of being two years old, and sometimes my mamma brain has to get creative to keep up with his inquisitive nature. 

I think of my big girl often as she spends her days at school. It's been so different around here without her and I miss her funny little sayings. She loves to shorten things and I love when she says, "I'll be back in a jiff!" As I watched her play on her school playground after school the other day I felt that she has grown so much in these last few weeks. She is more confident, braver and daring. She hung upsidedown from the monkey bars swinging in mid air, "Mom! Watch this!" She was suddenly doing all kinds of things she had never attempted before. I got to talk to her on the phone the other day when I was out running some errands and she was hanging out with Daddy. Her sweet little phone voice reminded me of the wispy, blonde haired little girl in pig tales, always happy and giggling away. She has a talent for always looking on the bright side of life and I miss that little light in my day when it gets tough. 

Being home with the boys has been wonderful! It still feels weird to only have three kids with me for most of the day. It's fun to watch the boys play together and I can't help but wonder how their mouths can make such interesting sounds. Our house is suddenly a racetrack for their cars as they run this way and that. One day Joseph paused to use the bathroom and before I could get his diaper back on he ran back out yelling, "Wait foe me, dude!" anxious to get back to a game of cars with his brother.

As soon as Camilla comes home they can't wait to get out and play with her rain or shine. The other day I loved grabbing Joseph's cold, chubby hands seconds after he came inside from jumping on the trampoline in the rain. All three of the kids came in with wet bottoms. I took a few minutes to get down to their level and help them remove their rubber boots, something I usually let them do on their own. My intent was to keep the floor clean from the splashes and sand as they kick those things off half way across the kitchen, but it ended up being a beautiful moment. I love being able to serve my children. 

Our dinner conversation is always hilarious. On Sunday night Camilla asked, "Mom, will we go to Sunday every day until we die?" Then Joe pipes in, "Knock, knock..." "Who's there?" we ask. "Pants!!" When I think of dinner time, I think of more giggling than eating and lots of knock knock jokes from Joe. But I love this crazy loud phase of life we are in! The other night Hyrum put a macaroni on his finger and quoted a line from Big Hero Six, "I know, I should be proud that I am finally using my brains for something important!" A huge part of me wanted to shoot him my mom eyes and tell him to quit playing with his food, but the voice that he uses to imitate is so hilarious that I cracked up right along with Mike. 

Bed times are getting a little bit better but we are still having to lay with Joseph almost every night just to get him to sleep. I was sure he was asleep one night but as I carefully got up to sneak out of his room he sweetly asked, "Pees don't go, Mom." I flashed back to my tiny, unhappy baby boy who cried constantly and needed to be snuggled and comforted all night long. I'm sure his cries were him just saying, "please stay and snuggle me mom. Please don't go." As a tear rolled off my cheek I snuggle next to him until I felt his sleepy breaths on my cheek. It is a lot more work laying with him each night, but it's something I think he needs, something he has always needed, and I know it won't last forever. 

"Fathers, we may be the head of the home -- but mothers are the heart of the home, and the heart of the home is where the pulse of the home is."

 ~Thomas S. Monson