Today we woke up to rain and clouds. If I didn't have to drop Camilla at school this morning I might not have left my house. After we got home I carried in my sleeping baby and snuggled up with the boys on the couch to watch their favorite show. As Joseph nestled his face next to mine I kissed his cheeks and ran my fingers through his hair. A nice warm feeling of gratitude and love came over me and after a terrible nights sleep I was reminded why I love being a mother so much.
While Mr. Stannix is away from home working hard for us all day, I feel so blessed to be able to be at home to teach our children. I love when they ask me questions, and I love their creative answers. The other day Hyrum asked "Mom, where does hail come from?" I gave him a brief explanation to which he replied, "Oh, I though it was pieces of the moon falling from the sky." Joseph has entered the "why" phase of being two years old, and sometimes my mamma brain has to get creative to keep up with his inquisitive nature.
I think of my big girl often as she spends her days at school. It's been so different around here without her and I miss her funny little sayings. She loves to shorten things and I love when she says, "I'll be back in a jiff!" As I watched her play on her school playground after school the other day I felt that she has grown so much in these last few weeks. She is more confident, braver and daring. She hung upsidedown from the monkey bars swinging in mid air, "Mom! Watch this!" She was suddenly doing all kinds of things she had never attempted before. I got to talk to her on the phone the other day when I was out running some errands and she was hanging out with Daddy. Her sweet little phone voice reminded me of the wispy, blonde haired little girl in pig tales, always happy and giggling away. She has a talent for always looking on the bright side of life and I miss that little light in my day when it gets tough.
Being home with the boys has been wonderful! It still feels weird to only have three kids with me for most of the day. It's fun to watch the boys play together and I can't help but wonder how their mouths can make such interesting sounds. Our house is suddenly a racetrack for their cars as they run this way and that. One day Joseph paused to use the bathroom and before I could get his diaper back on he ran back out yelling, "Wait foe me, dude!" anxious to get back to a game of cars with his brother.
As soon as Camilla comes home they can't wait to get out and play with her rain or shine. The other day I loved grabbing Joseph's cold, chubby hands seconds after he came inside from jumping on the trampoline in the rain. All three of the kids came in with wet bottoms. I took a few minutes to get down to their level and help them remove their rubber boots, something I usually let them do on their own. My intent was to keep the floor clean from the splashes and sand as they kick those things off half way across the kitchen, but it ended up being a beautiful moment. I love being able to serve my children.
Our dinner conversation is always hilarious. On Sunday night Camilla asked, "Mom, will we go to Sunday every day until we die?" Then Joe pipes in, "Knock, knock..." "Who's there?" we ask. "Pants!!" When I think of dinner time, I think of more giggling than eating and lots of knock knock jokes from Joe. But I love this crazy loud phase of life we are in! The other night Hyrum put a macaroni on his finger and quoted a line from Big Hero Six, "I know, I should be proud that I am finally using my brains for something important!" A huge part of me wanted to shoot him my mom eyes and tell him to quit playing with his food, but the voice that he uses to imitate is so hilarious that I cracked up right along with Mike.
Bed times are getting a little bit better but we are still having to lay with Joseph almost every night just to get him to sleep. I was sure he was asleep one night but as I carefully got up to sneak out of his room he sweetly asked, "Pees don't go, Mom." I flashed back to my tiny, unhappy baby boy who cried constantly and needed to be snuggled and comforted all night long. I'm sure his cries were him just saying, "please stay and snuggle me mom. Please don't go." As a tear rolled off my cheek I snuggle next to him until I felt his sleepy breaths on my cheek. It is a lot more work laying with him each night, but it's something I think he needs, something he has always needed, and I know it won't last forever.
"Fathers, we may be the head of the home -- but mothers are the heart of the home, and the heart of the home is where the pulse of the home is."
~Thomas S. Monson
