Fleeting

There has been a lot of musical beds going on at our house. Between Finley cutting two more teeth, a frequent bed wetter, a two year old who almost never sleeps in his own bed and a few nightmares here and there, I sometimes feel like I just go from one kid to the next all night long.  One night as I was making my way up the stairs to my bed in the dark I heard little feet run across the hall. By the time I made it to my bed my spot had already been taken and Mike and I had a good laugh.

Mornings always start early and being cheerful at 5:00am doesn't exactly come naturally to me. Some days are long and hard and I constantly find myself praying to see the world through my children's eyes. Trying to keep this perspective helps me when my little guy dumps a forty count box of sidewalk chalk in the middle of the sitting room so that he can turn the box over and use it to reach something I took away earlier. It's easy to become frustrated over the mess and miss the chance to commend him for his problem solving skills.

After much debate we ended up getting rid of our land line last week. And just when I was starting to feel sad about it, Joseph sealed the deal by throwing our home phone into the bath tub. As I picked it up water poured out of every nook and cranny. The display screen resembled a fish tank with water gently sloshing as I turned the phone from one angle to the next. I may or may not have cried, even though the phone has been disconnected for a week. Last week the DVD remote was thrown into the tub and I really should have known better. After night prayers Mr. Stannix looked at me with a twinkle in his tired eyes and said, "Well, at least I got the mawn lowed". And that pretty much sums up how tired we are these days.

But this afternoon while Mr. Stannix and I sat on a park bench listening to our children squeal with delight as they ran around the spray park we couldn't help but think that we are in a wonderful season of life.  A sleepless, messy, joy filled, fleeting season.  We won't always have sticky fingerprints, or art on our walls. That little girl won't always want to be cuddled after a bad dream. Joseph will not be sleeping in our bed forever. Hyrum won't always play and giggle like he hasn't a care in the world. And Finley won't be nursing for much longer. These moments are so precious, even though they are tough. And I hear it's usually the hardest things that are the most worthwhile in the end.

Auntie Cathy Visits

 Mike's Auntie Cathy was out visiting for the week and we had the privilege of getting together with some of the Stannix clan for dinner. The last time she came to visit we were heading off to Hawaii and the kids were out at the Acreage. The last time she saw Camilla was when she was just a few months old.

 Finley warmed right up to her and spent a good chunk of the night bouncing on her lap and talking to her. 

 Finley also got to visit with Uncle Mike, Auntie Chris and Nana. It was great to get together with everyone for a visit.

Mike lived with his Auntie Cathy for a short time when he was little, so they kind of have a special relationship. We got an awesome group picture that I will have to add later since it wasn't taken with my camera. It's always nice to get to know Mike's side of the family a little better! Thanks for the fun!

Over the River

This week brought on a spontaneous visit to the acreage with my cousins for some berry picking. The kids were thrilled to be with their little second cousins for the day. We got eight kids and three adults loaded up and ready to go early in the morning and drove out together. The kids liked mixing up the seating arrangements and swapping between vehicles. 

Since it's a bit of a drive from the city we took a snack break half way and somehow most of the kids ended up piled in the trunk of the van while they munched.

When we pulled up we found my Dad in the garden and my Mamma up in the berry patch. We ate a quick lunch and then went to work on the last few rows of raspberries. 

The little cousins enjoyed running around and munching on berries.

Finley had his afternoon nap on my back while I picked away. My Mom always ends up with three times more than me (probably because I eat so many).

The garden is so full and green. Everything is just about ready to harvest. They have rows and rows of potatoes, raspberries, saskatoons, carrots and so much more. I can't wait to go out and do some canning with my Mom.

The wagon was a bit hit with the kids! It's so fun to get together with the cousins! After six or so buckets of raspberries we decided to call it a day and said good-bye to the cousins.

The rest of the afternoon was filled with all kinds of exploring and hours in the sandbox. After dinner we raided the raspberry patch for dessert and headed in for baths and bedtime.

The next morning Camilla and Gramma made breakfast. Camilla mixed and flipped all of the pancakes and they were delish!

Then we spent the morning pulling rhubarb and picking berries while dark clouds rolled in and threatened rain.

Joseph is always talking about Grampa's quad and couldn't wait to get on it for a ride. When I told him it wasn't time yet he would say, "Me just checkin' it Mom". 

The kids chased grasshoppers all morning while Mom and I picked and my Dad weeded. Camilla named her grasshopper stinky and that funny thing sat on her finger for at least an hour.

Joseph alternated between helping Grampa push the wheelbarrow and diving into the patch to pick with Gramma. He really enjoyed eating the berries out of my bucket. When I told him he had to pick his own, he got his own bucket and still asked me to help him fill it. He did a lot more eating than picking. 

 

The kiddos each got an awesome pair of kid-sized work gloves from Great-Gramma Hudkins and enjoyed putting them to use at the Acreage. We enjoyed fresh picked baby potatoes, green beans and a garden salad for dinner. There is nothing better than mashed baby potatoes smothered in butter, salt, and pepper. It's like eating candy. Camilla had three plate fulls! Once our bellies were full we said our good-byes and headed home. As we left I rolled down the windows and everyone shouted good-bye while we drove out. My Gramma always stands out on the deck and waves us off with tears in her eyes. The drive home was nice and quiet. I admired the mountain views, enjoyed the twisty roads, and relished in the beauty of the canola fields.

My Brother's Wedding

 Today was my oldest brother's wedding. It was held at a quaint little venue in Sherwood park and kept to family and close friends. It was a nice intimate setting. We have known Kristin for a long time and our kids already call her Auntie. We are so glad that she is now officially part of our family!

 In between time we snapped some photos. Mr. Stannix was looking pretty handsome! We also snuck home to check on our kiddos and relieve our babysitter.

The reception was very simple and elegant.

My Mom and I

My Mom and her girls

My Sis and I

All of my siblings and significant others together!

Lazy Afternoons

This is how Finley and I spend the majority of our afternoons these days. 

Watching the kids bike back and forth on the front walk.

Weathering the Storm

 This afternoon we hit a lull and everyone was needing a change of pace. The moment Joseph woke from his nap I announced we were going for a bike ride. Cheers were heard all around. We took a new path to a little pond with a boardwalk. The three kids rode back and forth on the boardwalk over and over. A sweet old lady walked by with her dogs and I scooted the children off to the side so that she could pass. "Go ahead. We'll be here all day," I said. She pointed out the clouds rolling in and told me how she hoped to make it home before the rain. 

 

 We were having so much fun I had hardly noticed the sky. The children biked back and forth shouting and squealing with delight. "Wahoo!" "Yee-haw!" After a while I rounded them up and we made our way up the path to take the back way home. The thunder rumbled as we made our way up the trail filling the children with fear and wonder. Joseph suddenly didn't like lagging behind and Camilla worried about a "roundy storm".  

 Just as we made it to the sidewalk the drops started to fall. By the time we made it to our block it was sprinkling pretty good. The littles peddled their little hearts out racing to beat the rain. As I walked the last block home I took a few deep breaths. There is nothing better then the smell of rain.

I love hanging out with these four all day!

Pure Joy

 For the last couple of nights Finley has been doing over six hours between feedings. Despite waking up at the crack of dawn with Joe each morning, I am feeling rested. Finley wakes shortly after everyone else and immediately begins smiling and kicking his legs with excitement. He has a special way of filling our home with joy and love in the morning. When I have him in my arms I can't help but smother him in kisses and feel an overwhelming love for him. Right now he is sporting a jack-o-lantern grin thanks to his first tooth finally poking through. His joy is super contagious and we all love him to pieces!

An Early Start

Today began bright and early as the first rays of the sun poked through the curtains. At 3:00am I was singing praises quietly to myself as I rocked and fed Finley for the first time since putting him to bed. Little did I know I would be up a few short hours later pouring a bowl of cheerios for my especially early riser. He led me down the stairs hand in hand with a huge smile and request for breakfast. When Hyrum joined us a few short minutes after, I knew there was no hope of sneaking back to bed for a few extra winks. After breakfast everyone got dressed, made their beds and tidied up. Once we finished morning prayers I sent them off to play while I went to work.

As rain drops started to splat on the window, I went to work mixing and measuring. Once the bread was rising in the pans I started on a few lasagna's for my freezer while Finley sat happily on the floor. It wasn't long before the clouds came in and the pavement became soaked. Camilla went out with a fiend for the afternoon leaving me with the boys. Joseph was napping and Finley wasn't far behind. Just as I pulled the bread from the oven Hyrum, scissors and glue in hand,  begged me to help him make a paper castle.  As I dumped the loaves out onto the cooling rack my creative juices started flowing and we ended up constructing a pretty awesome castle together.

I snuggled Finley to sleep and left Hyrum to color his castle up the way he wanted. As I swayed back and forth in front of Finley's crib I glanced in the tiny mirror hanging on his wall watching for his eyes to close.  Outside, the wind blew and the trees swayed while tiny drops fell from the sky. I was glad to be cozy in my home enjoying the smell of fresh bread.

Hyrum begged me to play knights as soon as I came down the stairs. I could hardly remember the last time I spent one on one time with this guy and gladly granted him his wish. We played and enjoyed half a loaf of warm bread and honey. I think I will call one of the lasagna's dinner and take the rest of the afternoon off to read a book and enjoy the kids. 

Seven Months

 Finners is seven months old today! I just wish I could freeze time and keep him little forever! His face is maturing and his personality is exploding. He is so easy going and content for the most part and has a joy that's contagious. It's hard not to smile when he is around! He has one little bottom tooth and the biggest open mouth grin. He is getting more and more chubby as the days go by and has the most kissable cheeks. As I washed his hair the other night I realized how much it has grown! It has a definite red tinge to it and I can't wait to see what color it will be when it grows in. 

He has turned into quite a little mover and can roll around a room in seconds. He knows how to turn onto his stomach and rotate around and then roll to get to something he wants. When he is on his tummy he kicks like a crazy and is just barely starting to get his knees under him and his tummy up off the ground for a few seconds at a time. It won't be long before I will be chasing him around the house keeping him out of trouble. He has pretty well mastered sitting and only falls over once in a while. His body is so strong and sturdy. He loves to eat and will smack his lips when he sees me eating or drinking. He is up to three square meals a day and sleeps much better at night! I am so glad that his tummy has settled and he is able to keep his food down better.

He still adores his older siblings and giggles like crazy when they talk to him or play with him. Camilla loves to pick him up and carry him around (even though he's half her size). She's a really good babysitter when I need to shower or clean the bathrooms. Hyrum gets the best belly laughs out of him when he plays peek-a-boo or says a goofy phrase over and over again. Finley loves to hug and kiss him and will tell him, "You're the bestest Finley ever!" It is so cute. When Finley watches them run around and play together his legs kick and kick and he tries so hard to move with them. It will be crazy when he can keep up with them a bit. I really can't believe it's already been seven months. I am in love with this little guy. Sometimes when he falls asleep on me I sit still and snuggle him for as long as I can because I know how quickly he is going to grow. He is such a blessing to our little family and brings us all so much joy!

In the Moment

Today I woke up feeling more rested than I have in a long time. I have spent the week catching up on sleep and relishing in the fact that Joseph stays in his bed until well after 7:00am lately. Finley has also started doing a few longer stretches at night and in the early hours of the morning I've been pulling him in with me because he sleeps longer that way. When the children wake up in the morning they come to my bed to say a sleepy "good morning" and then they head downstairs for a bowl of cereal. Finley is always the last to wake up and the second his eyes meet mine he flashes the sweetest sleepy grins I have ever seen. He is so happy I just want to kiss him over and over again. He babbles and plays with his toes beside me while I listen to the commotion downstairs. Before long I hear the children calling for me and we make our way down to join them for breakfast. I love these slow mornings and the extra baby snuggles to start my day. 

Usually our days are filled with errands and other exciting things. The kids will rush out to the van ahead of me and by the time I make it out Joseph is sitting in the drivers seat with the mirror open on the visor. He flashes me a smile and says, "Just checking my hair, Mom". We then hit up the grocery store, or Michaels for some new yarn so that I can make more baby booties. Everywhere we go people stop and ask me things like, "Are these all yours?" and "How do you manage?" or my new favorite "How do you maintain yourself so well?" I chuckle and answer their questions as politely as I can. Life isn't always blissful, but we have been blessed and I wouldn't trade any of the craziness. My children make life rich and exciting and I love spending my days with them (most of the time). 

The children spend their afternoons learning and discovering. They tell me about the bugs they find in the backyard and ask important questions about how things grow. Sometimes I get to hear really great insights from Camilla, "Know which planet I like? I like the one that's round and has a ring around it that looks like it's wearing a tu-tu." On rainy days Hyrum plants himself at the kitchen table with a stack of blank paper and draws to his hearts content. Joseph plays in the backyard rain or shine and typically comes in covered in sand or garden dirt. But in six years of mothering I have gained a little wisdom. I am learning to be still and let go a little more. When Joseph walks across my freshly mopped floors as sand rains down from the bottoms of his rubber boots I muster up my biggest smile and try to distract myself with the exciting story he's come in to tell me.  I have learned to be still and just breath when the baby is screaming, the ipad is going, the two year old is throwing a fit and my little girl is proudly pounding out her freshly learned song on the piano. Some days, that's a real skill. 

Every spare second I have I crack open my novel from the library and get lost in its pages. Some days the kids are racing around the house and screaming down stairs but I hardly mind because as I read, I feel something inside of me that I haven't felt in a long time. It's been at least five years since I've read a novel and I miss getting lost in the pages of books. Reading is so good for the soul.

 

 Dinner time is always an adventure. One time in particular Joseph sent his spoon flying across the kitchen table knocking Camilla's plate of food to the floor. Tears were shed by both, the mess was cleaned, and all was forgiven. Most nights I get complaints and end up spoon feeding almost everyone just to fill their bellies before bed. Some nights I throw my hands in the air and give up.

Bed time is never dull. I sometimes it feels like a circus rounding everyone up. As we kneel for night prayers Joseph will still sometimes sit on someone's head to be funny or put his arms around my neck and hang on my back. When Daddy isn't home I take Joseph back to bed over and over again between paragraphs in my book. One time he came out completely naked and insisted on using the potty. Once he is finally asleep I take my book to the big couch in the front room and curl up and cram in as much reading as I can before Mr. Stannix comes home. One night he came home to me curled up on the couch and said, "I miss seeing this side of you. The side who takes time for herself once and a while." It has done me good to escape the world of social media and curl up to a good book full of wonderful things. I have been trying to be a little less hard on myself and take a step down from the seemingly impossible standard of perfection that I hold myself to. I have had so much help from my dear husband and am also learning the importance of taking time for myself so that I have more to give to others. I know that I can't be a good Mom if I'm strung out and exhausted all the time.

As I go to sleep each night I reflect on the good, the bad and the ugly. Every day is filled with moments of great joy and utter defeat. There are moments where I want to throw my hands in the air and give up and there are other moments where I wouldn't trade being a mother for anything else! I have learned to stay calm during trying moments where I find a freshly penned smiley face on the basement wall which oddly resembles the same form Hyrum uses in his daily scribbles at the kitchen table. It still resides on my basement wall since I haven't had the time to scrub it off (or rather to get a certain someone to scrub it off) and reminds me of lessons learned. I chuckle at the image of Joseph standing on the two stools he stacked up to steal a cookie from the cookie jar. I recall a moment with Joseph where I randomly hugged him and his body melted into mine as he let out a sigh of happiness and contentment. I can't help but smile when I remember Camilla affectionately patting the top of my head and ruffling my hair like she often sees me do to the boys. I love it when she crawls on my lap for a snuggle or wraps her arms around my waist for a hug. I think of Finley's big smile and open mouthed kisses, or the way he pulls my face close to his first thing in the morning. I live for these little moments and often scribble them down or commit them to memory somehow. It is these little moments that make motherhood so worth it!