Necessities of Motherhood

Today I have been pondering a few of the necessities of motherhood.

Patience for the endless laundry, piles of dishes, crummy floors, and long tantrums.

Understanding for when the two year old helps himself to the bowl of grapes in the fridge and accidently spills them all over the kitchen.

A sense of humor for the little boy who excitedly jumps for joy with a full cup of juice in his hand at my compliance to let him pour his sisters juice.

Empathy to see the world through my children's eyes.

Sunday Snooze

So peaceful.

Soccer Tournament

 This weekend we watched our kids in their very first ever sports tournament. The location was great and there were tons of little people playing on all of the different fields. We started off our day watching Camilla play her little heart out.

She's come such a long way since her first day and I love her enthusiasm on the field. She is one of the smallest on her team, but well loved by her team mates. It was fun watching her warm up with a small group of friends she made on the team as they took turns trying to score on each other. It was a lot of fun! 

The boys were super well behaved while we watched! They are pretty used to soccer now and as long as they have a hill to play on or some green space to run they are more than happy. I love watching the two of them hang out and become closer friends.

Right after Camilla's game we walked across to the other field and watched Hyrum. They were pretty short players and had hardly any subs, so this guy ran the entire time.

It's been great watching him learn and grow! He scored a goal and told me it was for Camilla. He is absolutely the sweetest kid. Any time another player fell down on the field, Hyrum made sure to stop and help them up even if it meant missing out on the ball or a potential goal. 

Uncle Arland and Auntie Naomi joined us for the morning! The kids were sure happy to see them! Most of these pics are courtesy of Auntie Naomi who kindly stole my camera while I bounced Finley to sleep in the carrier. It was a great morning!

Busy Days

The days are flying by and my kids are growing before my eyes! The other morning at the park I watched Joseph navigate the playground, daring new heights and trying new things and it dawned on me how big he is getting! He hardly requires supervision and it's weird to just sit back and watch him climb and explore. He pretty much runs everywhere we go and loves every minute! When we pulled into the garage after our morning at the spray park I started dancing to a favorite song and from the back seat I heard Joseph go, "Mom, you CA-RAZY!" I laughed right out loud. His expressions these days crack me right up.

We are a month into soccer and I'm kind of dreading the last half. Three days a week is almost too much! Last night I stood on the sidelines keeping Finley happy in the carrier while enduring sass from a three year old who thought it was fun to pester his brother until he screamed. To top it all off, my flip flop broke.  Even though it's silly, I stood there with tears stinging my eyes wishing that soccer was over all ready! But then Camilla scored a goal, flashed me her proudest grin, and I remembered why I decided to do this in the first place. I love seeing my kids learning, gaining confidence, and enjoying the outdoors. 

I am looking forward to the Summer months where my calendar is mostly blank (aside from a few weekend weddings), and the days are care-free. It is during these days where we enjoy long afternoons exploring outdoors, playing in the sprinkler in the backyard, checking out our favorite parks, enjoying outdoor picnics, and devouring fresh garden goods.

Spring cleaning has almost come to a close. I just finished washing the windows this afternoon and I can't believe how much brighter the front room seems now. That was probably my biggest accomplishment today and I'm trying to be okay with that. Sometimes when I look around the house in the evening at the piles of dishes, the scattered markers and paper clippings on the kitchen table, and the floor dotted with toys, socks, and crumbs, I have a really hard time not feeling discouraged. My doctor called the other night with my blood test results and my thyroid is acting up again. Possible side effects include fatigue, brain fog, and depression. Every day I struggle to muster up the energy to fulfill my role as a mother with happiness and grace.

The day always seems to end in chaos as soon as dinner is finished. I shuffle the kids through baths, chase them into their jammies, make sure everyone pees, and coax them to brush their teeth and floss. There are moments where almost all of them are crying for my attention at once, wanting my help and then refusing it when I give it, and I'm sure I'm going to lose it on someone. But if I hold my breath for just a few minutes longer, we make it through family prayers, songs, and back rubs and before I know it the house is silent, and I breath a sigh of relief. If Mr. Stannix is home we hang out, if he's not I fold laundry on our bed as I watch the sun go down and do a quick tidy on the kitchen. Then, as I check on my sleeping babies I suddenly remember why I love them so much and all of the heartache from the day is forgotten.

Quiet Time

Early afternoons have become my favorite time of day. After lunch Joseph and Finley go down for their naps while I help the older two do some school at the kitchen table. We usually whisper or use quiet voices and while they are busy the house seems calm. I get Hyrum started on his printing and Camilla going on a math page and then I get the dishes whipped up and the floors swept. Finley is usually the first one to wake and enjoys a few minutes to himself on his play mat. Joseph follows soon after and heads right to the water cooler for a drink before making his way to me for a cuddle. Sometimes, it's Finley he cuddles up to upon waking up.

Still, Still, Still

Daddy has been out of town so the kids have been taking turns sleeping in my bed. 

Bed time has got to be one of my favorite things. 

Tonight I caught Joseph just as his arm twitched, signalling he had finally fallen asleep.

I love sneaking in and checking on them after they fall asleep. 

The house is so still.

I usually review our day together in my head and note where I could have done better, been more patient, or kept my thoughts to myself. 

But in that moment when I gaze on their little eye lashes resting on their cheeks, or their chubby hands resting on the covers, all of those hard times melt away.

Before leaving I removed his awesome super hero mask and kissed his sweaty brow.

Tomorrow is another day, and I am looking forward to a fresh start.

Gardening with the Littles

 We procrastinated on the gardening front big time this year. Our garden really only ever produces enough for us to snack on all summer (especially the yummy peas) but my Dad wisely councils, "At least you know how to do it! It's all about the experience."

 

I announced to the littles at breakfast that today would be a gardening day. There was cheers all around! I'm sure that will wear off in a few years, but for now I'll take it! We made our way out to the yard just as the sun started rounding the corner on the house, casting it's rays into the backyard. We picked out all the weeds and overturned the soil with a shovel. The kids liked breaking the clumps and finding worms. 

 I kind of let the kids take it from there, trying not to worry or control too much of the planting process. Camilla's peas may or may not be too close together, but they'll still grow! 

 This picture hardly does justice to how dirty Joseph actually was. He was working in his bare feet for part of the day and was black from head to toe by the end of it. You better believe he enjoyed a nice warm afternoon bath afterwards!

 Hyrum soaked up every bit of the experience. Gardening is so good for the soul and this kid has a quiet, pensive way about him. He didn't say too much, he just dug in his heels and went to work, but I could tell he was enjoying himself. When it came time for watering the kids were pretty good listeners and I only got sprayed twice by Joseph.

 Joseph got to help Camilla plant peas. She would make a hole with her finger to show him where the seed should go to make sure they weren't too close together. I'm pretty sure she learned that trick from planting with Gramma. It was so sweet watching them work together.

After being a crank all morning, Finley slept away the early afternoon allowing us to get some real work done! Before the kids went to bed they had to go check the garden to see if anything had grown. My Dad is totally right, it's all about the experience!

Sun Showers

Hats off to Grampa

 My Grampa Hudkins celebrated his 80th birthday this month. My cousin Jenny organized a little birthday party to celebrate Grampa and his amazing life. We are so blessed to be able to know him. I love that my kids will have memories of their great-grampa and I love watching him with them.

 My Mom did an awesome job putting together three hat cakes to celebrate our theme "Hats off to Grampa". They turned out great and were super delish!

 I loved this little display table filled with things that remind us of Grampa.When I was growing up they lived in Fort McMurray which was quite a long drive. I can still remember visiting and eating mini cereals and Jello puddings that they would pick up especially for us. Another thing I love about my grandparents is the fact that you can never leave their home without sharing a meal. If you go around lunch time campbells soup is always a favorite, or peanut butter and honey (sometimes banana) sandwiches. I've always thought there was wisdom in gathering us around the kitchen table for a meal where we can enjoy good conversation and receive advice or help with things we might be struggling with. It's amazing the way that a kitchen table can open conversation and I admire them for making that possible. They have always been such a great example to me. 

 There was also tons of pictures put up of Grampa through the years. It was so fun to look through them!

Camilla and Amelia were excited to be reunited!

These two are so cute together! Such great second cousin friends.

 Loved being able to see the grandparents with grands and great-grands.

 This picture of Finley totally steals my heart! Photo credit for most of these goes to my sister and her brand new camera. Also loving my mamma and little Joe.

 All of our kids went and sat with second cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents so Mr. Stannix and I were kind of left solo. It felt weird, but it was a good breather!

 We finished off the evening writing birthday wishes to Grampa for a special book and playing a game to learn more about Grampa. He is a pretty amazing guy and I teared up every time my cousin Jenny mentioned how lucky we are to have him. We are truly blessed!

Before we left we each took a group picture with Grampa and some random hats that my cousin brought to suit the theme. It's always so fun to celebrate with family! We sure love Grampa Hudkins!

It Goes by Fast

At the grocery store today I was stopped by a sweet lady who told me about a time when she was shopping with her five children and an older lady stopped her to tell her how fast the time goes. As I was politely listening and shuffling children out of the aisle so the stock boy could get by, she put her hand on my shoulder, smiled, and said, "Now I'm that old lady, and I want you to know, it does go by so fast! And I know you probably hear that a lot, but it really does." I thanked her for the advice, and we all waved good-bye as we carried on through the store. As I left, I couldn't help but smile, because it's going by so fast! I took a deep breath and enjoyed the chaos of grocery shopping. I studied Joseph's face as he talked to me from the seat in the cart and leaned over to kiss his baby brother who was strapped onto me in the carrier. I admired Hyrum's gorgeous blue eyes as he stood on the end of the cart, quietly soaking in his surroundings. My heart welled up with love for my big girl, always so eager to help and guide her little brothers.

Once we got to the van I began unloading groceries and miss Camilla sympathetically said, "Being a mommy is hard, I know. I'm kinda a mommy in training." It made my heart happy. I hope one day she will value motherhood as much as I do. On the way home I found myself with tears brimming in my eyes as I pulled up to a stop light and took a few seconds to look at the kids in the rear view mirror and express to them how much I love each of them.

I spent the rest of the day soaking in the present, studying my kids, and really getting down to their level. Joseph fell asleep on the way home from the store and as I carried him up to his bed his body melted into mine and it made me miss the days when he was tiny and fit just right snuggled up on my shoulder. While he slept the older kids played quietly on the floor with Finley and I unloaded the groceries. I loved the feeling of peace and calm that filled our home in that moment.

When all of the groceries were finally put away, I sat on the couch and watched Finley drift off to sleep while he nursed. I snuggled him for a few extra minutes before laying him in his crib. On my way downstairs I heard Joseph moving around in his bed and peeked through the crack in his door. I love catching him just when he wakes up, scooping him into my arms and stealing some snuggles. He gladly wrapped his arms around my neck and put his head on my shoulder as we made our way downstairs.

By now his tummy was grumbling and as we exchanged whispers he pulled a box of kraft dinner out of the pantry and we went to work making it together. I'm always amused at how much praise a cheap little box of kraft dinner gets at the table. The kids turn up their noses most nights after slaving away at a healthy meal. Sometimes it's refreshing to make something easy and soak in all of the compliments and praises.

Once Finley woke from his nap the hushed tones gradually got louder again as the children engaged in games of make-believe. When I changed Finley's diaper he peed all over the floor (and me) which inspired me to tidy the main floor and give it a good mop. I bathed Finley, changed my clothes, and went to work tidying while the children whizzed around me in their make-believe world. I love how well the kids play together and will miss days like these when Camilla goes off to school next year.

After I finished, Finley and I snuggled up on the couch for a few minutes. He grabbed my face with his chubby fingers and planted a few wet ones on my cheek. His sweet smiles, high pitched giggle and happy demeanor make him so easy to love. I flashed back to quiet afternoon snuggles with each of my babies and thought about how quickly they've morphed into these little people they are today. It feels like just yesterday.

It wasn't long before everyone else was hovering around us or squishing next to us on the couch to smooch their baby brother too. I couldn't help but smile at Hyrum who insisted on wearing his super man costume that fit him at 18 months. The pant legs were up to his knees and he had no clothes underneath just to make it fit. The back doesn't do up anymore leaving his farmers tan totally visible from behind.

I put away Joseph's booster seat because he is always wanting to sit in a big chair anyways. Camilla ate a ton of spinach salad tonight which has never happened before! A sure sign that she is indeed growing up. She couldn't get enough of that stuff. And then before we knew it bed time had come again. These days go by quicker and quicker it seems and then all of the sudden it's a new week again, and then a new month. I seriously can't believe we are already coming up to June!

Daddy and I tucked everyone in for the night and then he went off to hockey. Finley has already been up multiple times and I know I'm in for another rough night. I can't wait for these teeth to come in, but at the same time, I am hanging onto every moment and stage with this little guy after going through it so many times. I love that simply holding him can sooth him. I love our night time cuddles and early morning snoozes on the couch. Sometimes when I'm holding him I can't help but kiss the top of his fuzzy little head, soak in the baby smells, and hold him for just a few minutes longer.

 It's been this way with each of my kids these days. When Hyrum gives me morning hugs I am left wishing that he would hold on for just a few minutes longer. After Joseph has fallen asleep I find myself lying in his bed for just a few minutes longer, running my fingers through his hair and studying his little face, letting go of everything that happened that day. And when I tuck in my big girl and she chats my ear off, I want so badly to sit on the edge of her bed and listen to her talk to me all night long, because I know that this won't last forever. My favorite line of hers tonight was "I'm just going to file that in my head so I don't forget tomorrow morning." I sure hope these chats will always happen, especially when she gets older.

Today I am grateful for the reminder that the ordinary is extraordinary. I suppose that's one of my biggest reasons for blogging, is to hang onto these little moments and remember my kids as they are today with all of their funny sayings and quirks. There is so much going on in our world these days that can distract us from living in the present. It feels good to be back on track.