Be of Good Cheer

My mind has been filled with so many thoughts and different emotions this week. I have been dying to sit and write and felt inspired to share a few thoughts here on the blog. It seems that everytime I feel inspired to write something I can't find the time! As this new year has begun I have struggled to set goals and feel joy as I fight with the baby blues and live off little or no sleep. I have finally decided that my theme for this year is to "Be of Good Cheer". I searched pinterest for a cute little printable and put it up in the house where I will see it often. As I've been reading talks and studying scriptures related to this theme I have totally been inspired and motivated to live my theme more fully this year.

I have been thinking a lot lately about our angel baby and the heartache and sorrow I was feeling at this time last year. I felt that this trial was some form of punishment and that I maybe didn't deserve to have another child. It took me a long time to overcome these feelings and to realize that a loving Heavenly Father would never do such things. I am so grateful for the things I learned from priesthood blessings and for the strength I was given to press forward each day with hope and faith. As I read through some of my old journal entries I was grateful for the perspective I gained and the way my relationship with the Savior has deepened.

The other night while doing dishes I listened to this really great talk from general conference and loved what he had to say about trials. One thing that stuck out to me was when we said, “often trials and tribulations are allowed to come into your life because of what you are doing right”. I feel like if I approached my trials with this perspective, it would be easier to cheerfully endure them. It also made me think of past trials and realize that they came into my life as an opportunity to grow and stretch.

A few days ago I stumbled across a really good talk by Neal A. Maxwell and I loved the paragraph where he said, "Then the perceptive among us voted not secretly, but audibly—by shouting for joy! Let us not go back on those feelings now—for we saw more clearly then what we are experiencing now! May God help us to be of good cheer, for this is the forerunner feeling which precedes that glorious condition when our joy will be full!" It might be easier to be cheerful each day when we remember that we shouted for joy at this opportunity to live on the earth and have these experiences.

I love love the scripture in Doctrine and Covenants 78:18 which reads "Be of good cheer, for I will lead you along". It really gives me comfort to know that an all knowing, loving Father in Heaven is in control.

Aside from enduring trials with cheer, I mostly picked this theme to help our home be a better place. It is so hard for me to greet my children cheerfully in the morning when I've gone to bed too late or am running on little sleep. But I want to choose to greet them each morning with a smile and a hug. I want them to remember a cheerful mommy, not a grumpy one. I want to learn to smile when bowls of cereal are accidentally dumped on the floor, or when the children are learning to work out their differences. I want to laugh more this year and to feel the joy that comes as we spend time with family and get a glimpse into eternity.

I came across this awesome quote the other day by William Morris and fell in love with it. I think it will also be paired with my theme. Instead of just floating through life day after day I want to live each day with this quote in the back of my mind. I want to take interest in all of the details of my day. I want to remember the way I feel when I look at the pink sky each morning as the sun comes up. I want to instill in my memory the feeling of soft baby hands on my face or chubby toddler hands holding onto my own hands. I want to remember the sweet way that Hyrum smiles when he's genuinely happy about something. I want to remember Camilla's spontaneous hugs and the way they fill me up with love. And I want to remember the way Mr. Stannix makes me feel so special each and every day. I know that as I acknowledge these blessings in my life each day I will be able to "Be of Good Cheer" as I live each day this year! It's going to be a good one!

Snow-bots

We woke up today to beautiful weather! The littles and I ran an errand bright and early and I was surprised at how warm it was. I even let Finley grab some fresh air as I transferred him from his carseat to the baby carrier. When we got home the kids ran in to get their snow gear on. They spent the rest of the morning and some of the early afternoon in the backyard making "snow-bots". The snow was perfect for packing and building things. After two days of being sick, the fresh air was much needed!

As I was watching them today I was reminded of a favorite video.  It starts out with the quote "Moments are the molecules that make up eternity". I had some of those moments today. Moments that put things into perspective and filled me with joy. I experienced this joy when Joseph grabbed my hand with his sticky little hands and led me away from the dishes to build towers with him downstairs. I was filled with this joy when we began dancing spontaneously in the kitchen after our hot chocolate, laughing out loud as we spun and spun until we were almost sick. I felt overcome with love and joy when Camilla raced up behind me at the kitchen sink and wrapped her arms around my waist for a hug. I enjoyed another one of these moments when Joseph began cheering me on as I rolled his chunk of play dough into a worm. "Go Mommy! Go Mommy!" And I enjoyed a final special moment when Hyrum said, "I love you, Mom!" at bedtime tonight before I did. 

 

I finished off my day overcome with gratitude for my children and the sweet little moments we get to share together no matter how chaotic the day. Being a Mom is definitely one of the most important things I could be doing right now.

Don't Worry Be Happy

After spending all night awake with a hungry baby and a puker it's been a pretty long day. I started feeling pretty frustrated with life around 3:00am and had a nice little pity party in my rocking chair. I figured there was no way I could handle four kids the next day, my baby wouldn't sleep, and I was so tired I could barely function. I knew if I called for help from Mr. Stannix he would happily sacrifice some sleep, but I also knew that he needed his sleep so that he could work hard for us the next day at work. Just after I got Finley to sleep, Hyrum snuck in to inform me he had puked all over himself and his blankets. I think I finally crawled into my bed around 5:00am, just as Mr. Stannix got up to start his morning routine. I slept for about an hour until Joseph made his way to my bedside and begged for "bepest". I sent him downstairs and Daddy took care of his hungry belly. When he was full and Daddy had left for the day, he brought the iPad up and snuggled into bed with me. I spent the next few hours nodding in and out of sleep until Finley needed to be fed again. 

Once we finally got up and got dressed, I spent the rest of my day alternating between nursing sessions and holding the puke bucket while I comforted Mr. H. He slept most of the day away in his bed when he wasn't throwing up. When Fin was asleep I tried my hardest to get things done in the kitchen, but Joseph was pretty much attached to my pocket or leg whining all day long. It was rough. We were all very glad when Daddy came home! I wouldn't have made it if it weren't for Camilla's help and Finley's baby smiles.

Joe's running a temp now too, so it looks like round two tonight!

Little Man

Our little man is growing far too fast for my liking! He is hardly squeezing into his newborn clothes these days. I try to take at least one picture of him each day just to document his growth and change. At this age they grow every day it seems and I don't want to miss a moment! He's been spending a bit more time awake and loves when his siblings crowd around him and fight for his attention. Most of the time though, he just sleeps. I suppose all of that growing tuckers him out a bit!

Sunday Best

Sometimes afternoon church is nice because it means we have time to get all spiffed up. I love that I get to hang out with these cuties all morning long. Mr. H was looking pretty handsome and I was so glad to get such a great picture of him! I feel so very blessed.

Sleepy Smiles

After almost three weeks I think we are finally getting back into the swing of things. I successfully got groceries with all four kids and even got out to visit friends this week. Having a Winter baby is totally tough because you want to keep them out of the cold as much as possible. Although it's been lovely to cozy up at home for the last few weeks, I enjoyed the few moments we got to be out and about. If I'm being totally honest though, I'm too tired to go out much these days anyways. Finley is an amazing day time sleeper, but we have had our fair share of long nights. He's not terribly cranky, he just nurses often and prefers to sleep close to someone. I sure do love watching him sleep though. Especially when I can catch his sweet little smiles or listen to him chuckle while he sleeps. This boy melts my heart!

Freshly Bathed

Last night Finley enjoyed a nice warm bath after the other littles were asleep.

I then wrapped him in the cozy white towels he got from Gramma and Grampa.

I love a freshly bathed baby in a white towel!

He smells pretty great now!

Picture of the Day

I love my little pirates!

Some Little Things

It is pretty late and I'm pretty tired, but alas here I sit to keep up our family record. Before I sat down I glanced around the main floor of our house. Super hero costumes are strewn around the kitchen, empty sippy cups hide in the corners of the couch and mismatched socks dot the stairs. These last few weeks have been pretty crazy. I wish I could spend all day holding and cuddling Finley while he sleeps. Luckily I get lots of cuddle time in the evenings. I'm even typing this one handed as I snuggle Finley in my other arm, waiting for him to drift off to sleep so that I can sleep in my own bed for a few hours.

Mr. Stannix is back to work this week. I am pretty emotional still some days as I survive on limited sleep and eat here and there when I can squeeze it in. Days still blur into each other and I end up feeling quite unproductive at days end because all I've managed to do is nurse the baby, change a bunch of diapers and keep bellies full. I have felt totally stuck, and the thought of leaving the house with four kids was terrifying to me. Today we did manage to get groceries out of necessity because our fridge was empty and I missed having cereal for a quick breakfast. I am so grateful for a loving husband who looks me in the eyes at days end and says, "You're a good mom. We have happy kids."

One of my goals this year is to spend more quality time with the kids. Not just being present each day, but really being there for them. I want to give them more hugs and kisses, and make sure they have my full attention when they tell me things. I want to lecture less and love them more. There have been many evenings where I've been in tears as I go over the days events regretting not having made that extra effort with one child or another (or sometimes all four). I long to ask those mothers of large families how they successfully divide their time between so many children. Sometimes the only thing that keeps me going is to blog and record these little things that I jot down each day to savor later.

Camilla is so grown up and says the funniest things. She does such a great job with her little brothers and enjoys being a little "mommy". She is constantly reminding me how lucky I am to have her. I think helping out makes her feel good about herself. She has such a giving heart and eyes to see the needs of others. Sometimes when I'm sitting on the couch she will wrap me in a blanket to warm me up. Lately she has been coming up with these hilarious ideas and the way she explains them always leaves us laughing together. Her latest is, "What if we had a robot that makes spaghetti so fast you'll have it in a jiffy?! I wish I had one of those." Her imagination is still used constantly and I love hearing the three kids imagine and play together. Tonight after I finished tucking her in, I could tell she still had something to say. "Do you have a question for me?" I asked. She replied, "Well yes...but I forget. Oh yeah! It's a funny one..." She let out a little laugh and then elaborately described a day from this Summer that she tucked away in her memory. I layed beside her in the dark and smiled as she spilled out every detail. She is sure a special girl.
 

Hyrum cracks me up lately, though he has really started to enjoy picking on his brother and making him scream. One morning when he had spilled his cereal for the second day in a row I muttered, "Bummer dude" as I cleaned it up. Then Hyrum happily exclaimed, "Nope! Not on my bum! Gee that's clean mom!" He is really into super heroes lately and is always pretending to be one hero or another. He sometimes sticks his play sword down the back of his shirt and pretends to be a ninja turtle. He adores his new spider man costume and has some pretty sweet sound effects to go with it. When we were out at the acreage last Hyrum came up to me one morning and said, "There was somebody in my bed last night, Mom." I replied, "Oh really? Who?" He said, "I dunno, but it sounded like this..." and then made some sweet snoring noises. He was convinced there was someone in his bed with him, but I think it was someone in the house who sometimes snores really loud. We all got a good laugh out of it. Lately it's been hard to get a good picture of Hyrum genuinely smiling. I'm not sure why that is, but we are working on it! Sometimes when we are driving or eating at the table Hyrum will say, "Camilla, Is this a good smile?" It's super cute watching him practise all of his different smiles. He is such a sweet kid and has such a desire to be good and do what's right, even if he is a bit of a "rebel" right now.

Joseph is as busy as ever. He rang in the New Year with a bang, literally. On New Year's eve he fell off a tall chair onto a cement floor right on his noggin. The next day he was sledding and went right underneath a parked truck. He's looking a little rough and tumble these days. He also has a "big boy" hair cut now. It's super short and I still want to cry over all of the blonde locks that were on the floor that night. I miss my baby Joe. He is so grown up now! Some of the things he says just kill me. Whenever I ask him to do something he replies, "Ahhhh-kay Mommy...Ahhhh-kay." He is talking a lot but can still be tricky to understand. Anything that starts with an "S" starts with an "H" if you're Joe. Soup is "Hoop".  A Sippy is a "Hippy". When he is done eating he will say, "I needa cwof a wipe hans". "Joe do it!" is also a popular phrase these days. Whenever we stop at a store I will hear "I anna come too! Joe come too!" And when he says he loves you it comes out "I woof you!" He loves to brush his teeth. He is constantly stealing my phone (or the "he-wo"). He is a little parrot and loves to repeat what the older two say. He has a strange obsession with the toilet brush so I've had to hide it. He's a total show off, has a pretty awesome cheesy grin and a contagious laugh. He loves to take his pants off and will often pull them down when company is over just to get a laugh. He asks for "bepest" (breakfast) all day long and is constantly hungry! Camilla's name is now "Wee-a" which is totally adorable. He will often point at our family picture and name each of us, "Da-dee, Wee-a, High-a, Mommy, Dough!" He calls his shadow a ghost and pretends to be afraid of it. He loves curious george and calls him "Kee-kee gorsh". If you kiss his cheek he will exclaim "Ucky! Pee-you!" while he wipes it off. If he toots in the car and you call him a stinker he will respond, "Noooo. High-ya a tinker!" and blame it all on Hyrum. He is a busy boy, and keeps us on our toes, but we sure do love him!

And then there's baby Finley. He is such an easy baby! He still sleeps a lot and is very easy going. He is passed around from sibling to sibling most of the day and just eats up all of the attention and snuggles. The noise doesn't seem to bother him and he will still nurse while Joseph screams away beside us. Every day I wish I could just sit on the couch and snuggle him while he sleeps because I know all too well how fast this time passes!

The Early Afternoon

 The early afternoon brought me a sleepy baby on my bed.

Let's take a closer look at that double chin...