Sweet Dreams

Today I listened to Joseph sing away after putting him down for a long overdue nap. I waited for him to settle before I went downstairs. When all was quiet I opened up his door to peek in. He was resting peacefully on his bed with one hand under the pillow and his favorite book snuggled under his arm. I stood at the door for a few minutes and then went in to kiss his cheeks. I couldn't help but stay in his room and admire him sleeping. This little guy is just so busy now, it's not very often I get to admire his long legs, chubby curled up fingers, button nose and perfect complexion.

It was one of those moments where I wished time would just stand still for a while. He is growing so fast these days! He learns a new word or two almost every day and loves to tell me these super long stories in his jibber-jabber. Seeing him so still made my heart so full of love!

The Last of Summer

When I woke up this morning the house was pretty chilly.  Our windows stay wide open and fresh, cool air fills our home all day and night. I went downstairs with the boys and poured them each a bowl of cheerios. Once everyone else was awake we made pancakes. The hardwood was cold on my toes and they were almost frozen by the time we made it upstairs for morning chores.

Throughout the day I breath in deeply and excitement builds inside of me. As we walked around exploring the trails, we noticed the leaves on the tops of the trees are now a nice shade of yellow. Fall is almost here, but we are still hanging onto the last of the warm, lazy days of Summer.

The Apple Tree

As the seasons begin to change and the air becomes chilly I have been looking out our back window and admiring the apples on our tiny tree. 

Yesterday Hyrum shook the apple tree and the apples fell to the ground like rain.

We gathered them up in our shirts before Joseph threw too many of them around the yard. Now they sit on my counter ripening. I see a small apple pie in our near future.

For Real Life

In writing this blog, I usually like to stick to the good stuff since we publish these posts into books each year. But I suppose it's good for our kids to read about the crazy stuff too right? So here's a little snippet of what's been going down at the Stannix's these days. The sleepless nights, the messes, the arguing between siblings, the struggles and the tears.

I have not had a full nights sleep in about two weeks. I get children at my bedside asking for drinks of water, or help going potty, or quick snuggles to help them fall back to sleep. These last few weeks we have had a child snuggle into our bed in the wee hours of the morning so many times I've lost count. Lately I have been in tears on the couch in the front room while the littles chow down on breakfast and Mr. Stannix heads to work to take care of us. This morning was no different and I just need to write a bit to help me feel better.

Joseph crawled into our bed shortly after 4:00 this morning. He nestled in quick under the glow of the street lights and watched the wind from our open window blow the curtains until he fell back to sleep. About an hour later Hyrum was at my bedside whispering my name over and over again. I replied in lower than a whisper if that's even possible in hopes of keeping Joseph asleep. Sadly it didn't work and I had another early start to my day. I made up some pancakes for the littles and prepped Daddy's lunch while they cooked. When Hyrum got out the syrup the bottle was almost empty, so I made up a quick batch of fresh stuff to go with our pancakes. There was a little fight over who would get which color plate and what color of cup they wanted to go with their plate. Sadly not every one was made happy and one child ended up in tears. We all sat down to enjoy breakfast. I moved Joseph's chocolate milk away from the edge at least three times but it still ended up spilling. I left my breakfast and silently wiped up the spill while choking back tears. After a few refills and seconds of pancakes I made it back to my spot at the table. My breakfast was ice cold, so I threw it on the counter and went to the other room and cried. It sounds super childish, but it is so hard to describe how motherhood stretches you to the limits. Sometimes ya just need a good cry to feel better.

Thanks to pregnancy and a serious lack of sleep my emotions have been out of control. The children are also extra moody and argumentative (and did I mention they quit sleeping?). When they fight I have a super hard time keeping my cool and then I just feel like a horrible mother because my voice level is no where near where I'd like it to be most of the day. I go to sleep at night in tears as feelings of guilt and self pity flow over me. Why can't I be more graceful like so and so? Why can't I have more patience? Why can't I be more Christlike? I long to be more organized, soft spoken, tender hearted, and loving but those kinds of qualities don't come without a lot of work. Motherhood is both difficult and rewarding all at the same time. And though I feel like I'm almost at the end of my rope right now, I am so grateful for the way this role is challenging and refining me.

I am definitely grateful for my three children and a loving husband. I am also grateful for those moments that fill me to the brim with joy. The other night as we held FHE things got a bit crazy. Joseph was trumping around the house in Camilla's rubber boots and the other two were wiggling and squirming on the couch, trying their hardest to listen to Daddy give the lesson. Hyrum would repeat te last words of the sentences in question from just to show us he was listening. "Oh, ressurected?" "Oh, die? I don't wanna die." My heart swelled with love when Camilla piped up, "Don't worry Hyrum, then we be'd ressurected and live with Heavenly Father and be with our family forever and ever and ever!" I couldn't help but think what a comfort that knowledge must be to a child. As I said the closing prayer and thanked Heavenly Father for the knowledge that families can be together forever, I couldn't help but tear up.

I am very grateful that they are so forgiving as I struggle through each day to become the mother I dream of being. I love their "feel better" cards, smooches and hugs. Even though they keep me awake at night, make messes, constantly eat and fight with each other I am so so glad that they are mine forever. I am also so grateful for that Mr. Stannix of mine who came home a couple of hours early from work to mow the lawn and play with the children. He always knows exactly what I need.

Sunday Best

Couldn't resist a picture of these cuties today.

Best buddies!

A Good Day for Flying

When we were at the Acreage a month or so ago my sister took Joseph out for a mini-shoot in the back field. The pictures turned out so great and I've been dying to blog them! Over these last few days I have been thinking a lot about our youngest child and how he fits so nicely into our family. I've been thinking about all that he learns, all of the company he has had as he's grown, and all that he puts up with as the youngest.

Joseph is a pretty special kid and he is adored by all of us! He has such a fun loving, goofy personality. Not a day goes by that he doesn't make us laugh! I love his scruffy blonde hair, especially when it curls in the back. He is definitely our most adventurous child and keeps me on my toes. His newest love is jumping down the stairs two or three at a time. He's pretty rough and tumble and getting hurt doesn't phase him much. He is used to be pushed around by his older siblings and has even learned to push back. When he gives hugs he makes sure to tackle you to the ground. I can see him as a football player of sorts later in life. He loves doing whatever his big brother and sister are doing and is a super good sport when they double bounce him on the trampoline. 

Underneath all of his goofiness and his crazy hair he is such a sweet little guy. His smiles melt my heart. He has such a tender side to him and wears his heart on his sleeve like his mamma. He has finally learned how to shake his head yes for yes instead of no for yes. He has a love for music and can often be found singing different tunes or playing nicely on my piano. He is full of hugs and kisses and will always pat your back when he gives you a hug. We sure love this big guy!

Miracle Treat Day

Oh man. It's been a rough week as far as sleep goes. If it's not one kid, it's the other. I haven't gotten a full nights sleep in about a week and always wake up somewhere other than my bed with a kid snuggled near. Last night it was Joseph. He woke just after midnight and cried hard for close to half an hour. We ended up cozied up on the couch in the front room for about half the night. When my sore body finally had enough of the couch, I carried my little man to his own bed and found his brother in mine. I spent until 5:30am in Camilla's room since it was cooler anyways. Joseph and I had a good hour together downstairs before everyone else woke up for the day. A part of me was super cranky, but another part of me couldn't help but smile as Joseph sang away, "Maa-maa-maa....Daa-Daa-Daa...Aiy-Aiy-Aiy". As we made our way up to the kitchen for breakfast I couldn't help but think that the upcoming night time feedings won't even phase me if my kids keep training me the way they are! 

I made up a special loaf of french bread yesterday and used it this morning for french toast. Joseph gobbled his all gone, Hyrum had his with ice cream, and Camilla just liked it with syrup. Daddy ate super quick and then we all shouted "I love you's" as he headed out the door to work. 

I cleaned the kitchen and ran some errands with the littles. One our way back we hit up DQ for Miracle Treat Day. The kids were pretty excited to go inside the "resternaut" and enjoy their treat. We had a lot of fun just chilling and eating. I also grabbed a burger and an order of fries for myself. I've had a craving for pickles lately. The littles liked dipping my fries in their blizzards, just like they've done at Wendy's.

Love those crazies of mine!

A Bowling Date

 Tonight we went on a date with the older two. We had Uncle Arland and Auntie Naomi put Joseph to bed and hang out at home while we were gone. I think the older two really enjoyed having us all to themselves for a night. They were pretty excited to try out bowling and did super well! 

My camera didn't quite capture the way Hyrum would jump for joy at every pin he knocked over. We had the bumpers for the two kids and it was a riot. I haven't laughed that hard in a really long time. Hyrum would line up to roll his ball and then pause to watch the next ball rolling in. Finally he would throw it and while it slowly made its way towards the pins he would glance down the alley and check out what everyone else was doing. Sometimes when he knew it wasn't going to hit anything he would get all nervous and put both his arms behind his head while he watched. Other times he would get pretty into it and start pointing and calling out to his ball hoping it would help change the direction. He did a potty dance for the first few throws. I said, "Ya know, if you go potty, you might be better!" And he replied, "I already AM better!" I had to laugh because he was true, his score almost doubled mine!

Camilla was also pretty great! Her score almost rivaled Daddy's. She liked to bowl backwards between her legs. She loved passing the balls out to everyone when it was their turn and was a great cheerleader. I got probably the worst bowling score ever and she came up and patted me on the back and said, "It's okay, Mom. It's just 'cause you're pregnant..."

Love this girl!

Daddy got a ton of spares and strikes! It was super fun!

Until next time bowling alley!

Third Breakfast

 Last night was another night of musical beds and Joe-Joe is always awake at the crack of dawn, like before 6:00am. He had already had a banana and two bowls of cheerios before the older two joined us. We then enjoyed third breakfast with Daddy before he left to work.

 Joseph loves smoothies!

He's kind of a crazy in the morning and I love it!

A Second Look

 This afternoon Mr. Stannix and I got to have another quick peek at baby. Because I wasn't as far as everyone thought at our last ultrasound they weren't able to get good pictures of the heart and a few other things. Again we got to watch baby move and squirm on the screen while she took pictures. It was great. The tech quickly did a few profile shots at the end and was kind enough to send them home with me along with the knowledge that everything looks perfect so far. I couldn't be more relieved! I can't wait to meet this little person in December!